We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

You shouldn't have to set a limit. You should be able to rely on them being a decent human being. Especially when they already know you're on a budget.

Ordering a £100 bottle of wine, just for you, when you know you're being treated by a single parent on a budget, is just arsehole territory. You shouldn't NEED to tell somebody not to do it.

It's like telling someone not to shout and swear in the restaurant. Or telling someone not to take a piss in the middle of the street on the way home. You don't tell them not to do those things, because you assume they've got basic manners and consideration.

You shouldn't have to set a limit. You should be able to rely on them being a decent human being. Especially when they already know you're on a budget.

That's not reality. You can't rely on people to be good people. There are a ton of people around who are looking to have a nice treat on someone else's dime. Low level grifters are extremely common. Setting limits with people prevents these grifters from getting their greedy hands in your wallet.

She's known this guy for 5 years. Now that they're in an exclusive relationship for a few months, he's shown his ass and because of not setting limits, it's going to have a financial impact.

Don't expect anyone else to protect you when you won't protect yourself.

Hmmm but you can't go around expecting everyone to behave like a low-life grifter and treating them with suspicion. What kind of a life is that?

Once bitten, twice shy is a good approach in my view. But that probably explains why I have so few people in my life 😁

What an absolute tosser. I'd have sent a snapshot of the bill showing his profligate spending of your money, knowing you're a parent, together with your bank details for him to reimburse you for the piss-taking wine bill.

I would also be quite happy to share it on his social media and run off multiple copies to distribute wherever his ego happens to lie.

You just cannot resist victim blaming, can you? Why don't you just say it more concisely - 'it was your own fault, I've no sympathy' ?? Sheesh.

Well done @AliceR1 . Pleased to read he is being put to the kerb. It can be extremely difficult to not be ripped off in the moment. Hopefully he will learn.

Ignore any suggestions that you're somehow responsible for not managing someone else's poncing behaviour 🙄

I think you mentioned mutual friends. Make it clear to them what he's done. Do not cover up for him or allow yourself to feel embarrassed. I bet they'll be on alert if they ever find themselves in a restaurant with him.

Good point. Because he isn’t sorry - he will now try to defend himself with ‘plausible deniability’ tactics if the @AliceR1is foolish enough to fall into this trap and give him this pleasure.

I wouldn’t be hanging around for an apology / a row / an explanation because even before they set off for dinner he’s shown her over 5 years to be a drunk, broke, contemptuous, feckless, irresponsible human being and father.

Yes send this. At least try to recoup the money
before you get rid. He behaved very badly and it’s understandable that you want nothing to do with him now.

Such a red flag. Maybe you should have set a budget?? So rude.

But yes when the bill came could have said - I’ll get the food you get the drink.

Well done for getting the ink. I hope you get the alcohol bill back first

This is very triggering for me. Years and years of being taken advantage of. By so many people

I do have sympathy.

But she's got to protect herself from being financially exploited by boyfriends or anyone because no one else is going to do it for her and she has kids to feed.

You need basic communication with strangers or if it’s a first date or you’re on a hen do and don’t know the other girls.

The OP and this man have known each other a while. She is frugal, she buys free stuff off FB marketplace, shops in Farm Foods. Her child has missed out on a school residential. He KNOWS all this. They joke about her money saving lifestyle.

She did not need to say ‘I can only afford up to £80’. No one does this. It’s bloody obvious she couldn’t stretch to a hundred quid bottle of plonk. What a prick!

What sort of fucking moron orders a £100 bottle of wine and then another glass? Even if OP was rolling in it, it just reeks of a greedy little smarmy shit.

I have wealthy friends who have taken me out and said ‘Order what you want, my treat!’ Never in a million years would take the piss like this bloke has, and I know they could easily afford it.

Why on Earth is there going to be a ‘next time’? This is outrageously selfish behaviour. I honestly don’t think I could get past it. I think I’d just say ‘I don’t think this is working’ and move on

I don’t know you OP but I like the sound of you and know you can do better!

I feel appalled Op on your behalf. This isn't just about money - I have been rich/broke/all states at various poitns in my life - and I have literally never ever done this and I have never been in a situation where someone has done this

I actually think it's incredibly cruel and selfish behaviour - he knows you have children and a budget.

I would be inclined to reply ‘Yeah wow is exactly what I thought when I saw the bill’. 🍷

Thank you so much for the absolute legend who came up with the Nelson’s eye… just had an email from Open Table to review the place, so I did… urgh - I tried uploading a screenshot but image under review, so I’ll copy and paste instead…

Your review
*
Posted on 29 Mar 2026
The good bits: lovely surroundings, exquisite toilets, top notch food
The not so good bits: took over 20 minutes past booking time to get a table. Ordered immediately, took further 40 minutes to actually get food.
The juicy bits: this was an evening out to treat my ex (he is now) to a birthday meal. Unbeknown to me, he ordered a £100 bottle of Bordeaux, followed by wine by glass, knowing full well that I'll be the one picking up the tab, so in short during the hour and 40 minutes we were there, he was getting bladdered on top notch wine while I was sipping tap water as I drove. Absolute zero social awareness as he thanked me for a great evening.
Frankly, I'd rather spend the rest of my life looking for Nelson's eye than spend a minute with this bell end.

Even reading this give me a a massive ick.

Why on earth did you put this on a restaurant review?

Priceless!

Because I feel a whole load better now!

Sorry, but you are dramatising the fact that the restaurant even cares, and also the not saying anything when the bill came. Why didn't you just get table service to come back in a couple of minutes so you had space to tell him to stump up.
This explains the "wow!".
Do you mess around with communication this way with everyone?
Yes, he took what he could, but it was your bank card or whatever. You CHOSE to authorise the payment. Then come here, badmouth him, then berate him by message.
Just why?! What a load of drama.

All of the mutual friends will have already seen that hes a layabout benefit scrounging drunk - they have eyes and ears - and will be delighted that the penny has dropped for their vulnerable friend.