Partner dismisses concerns and leaves mess, unsure about moving out rights

[GeordieFun]

I joined mumsnet for support about my relationship- i have felt low for years and he takes me for granted, cleaning, cooking, he is very messy, his side of the room is just disgusting empty cans, dirty plates like he is still living at uni! He says i over react and i pick bad moments when he is stressed about work to bring issues.

I have felt the same everyday for years, there is no moment of joy with him... I am struggling to get my partner to understand this isnt working.
I prefer to be single and want to go back to how I was before moving in with him - he isnt totally bad, I feel he needs someone who is musically like him and they bounce off each other playing instruments etc.

I basically need advice - our home we got together is in his name as well! I pay him a set amount each month for the past 6 years and I am scared of walking away with nothing and how to get him to listen without taking offence.

Not in my case it wasn’t. This was for a new fixed rate deal with my existing lender.

@GeordieFun - i’ve posted already but am back to beg you to please get proper legal advice from a specialist lawyer about this.

There are rules around lenders taking security from consumers which mean you might be able to challenge this arrangement. Ignorance is not generally a defence but this is one circumstance where it could be if you did not receive independent legal advice at the time.

You have very serious legal obligations arising from this mortgage which are entirely to your detriment but a suitably qualified lawyer in possession of all the relevant facts may see grounds on which this mortgage can be challenged. You were naive ever to agree to this but if you didn’t take independent legal advice the lender may not be able to enforce the mortgage. You owe it to yourself and your children to try to sort this out.

In addition, your relationship is ultimately over. Your partner is abusive. But get proper advice on your rights before you do anything. And do NOT tell your partner. Stop discussing it with him. He is NOT your friend in this.

And yes, I am shouting! Get proper legal advice!