Partner dismisses concerns and leaves mess, unsure about moving out rights

[GeordieFun]

I joined mumsnet for support about my relationship- i have felt low for years and he takes me for granted, cleaning, cooking, he is very messy, his side of the room is just disgusting empty cans, dirty plates like he is still living at uni! He says i over react and i pick bad moments when he is stressed about work to bring issues.

I have felt the same everyday for years, there is no moment of joy with him... I am struggling to get my partner to understand this isnt working.
I prefer to be single and want to go back to how I was before moving in with him - he isnt totally bad, I feel he needs someone who is musically like him and they bounce off each other playing instruments etc.

I basically need advice - our home we got together is in his name as well! I pay him a set amount each month for the past 6 years and I am scared of walking away with nothing and how to get him to listen without taking offence.

Said with such conviction.

I can't believe this is a thing.

@GeordieFun - as @Yellowteeth, i and others are saying: please take proper specialist legal advice on this situation - ideally you want someone with experience in banking disputes, especially undue influence claims. Don’t discuss it with your partner any more for now.

I am a lawyer - in fact, i am a disputes lawyer - but not in this field, and i would consult a specialist. You may have grounds for challenging this mortgage if proper procedures were not followed.

A specialist lawyer will want to understand such things as (i) were you told to take independent legal advice?; (ii) did you take independent legal advice at the time?; (iii) if yes, what advice were you given?; (iv) if not, why not? (v) did you have any contact with the lender at all?; (vi) if so, what was discussed?; (vii) what did your partner tell you then and since? Etc, etc.

Do NOT answer those questions here. But have a think about them and write down what you recall. Gather together everything you have in writing - documents, emails, WhatsApp messages, texts etc and keep them somewhere safe. They are evidence of what was discussed and agreed. They will help a specialist lawyer advise you on the position.

This makes no sense at all. If it was JBSP you were on the mortgage, but not the deeds.

If he really has re-mortgaged recently you cannot still be on the mortgage - unless he has forged your signature.

If you are not on the mortgage at least you have no responsibility to pay it.

You need proper legal advice. You won’t get it on this thread.

Yes, It’s strange how some posters seem to be taking such delight from the OPs situation.

It appears you are confused between being "on the mortgage" and "on the deeds"

This is what concerns me. OP seems clueless.

OP does not seem to be bothered, or to be following what posters are trying to explain.

OP is saying she's 'been a little silly'.

That does not sound like someone who understands that they owe hundreds of thousands of pounds to a bank!

You might have a claim in proprietary estoppel if (1) he made a promise that you would be put on the deeds, (2) you reasonably relied on the promise (3) to your detriment.

You need to collect evidence of the above and yes - WhatsApp messages are evidence

Ask for the remortgage details.
Are you on the remortgage or not?
You need to know before you speak to lawyers
How much equity in property?
Eg 25k will cost you that in lawyer fees
250k might be worth fighting for

I would be very concerned that he has forged your signature in order to remortgage. However, if he has, and you can prove it, I would think that could work in your favour.
DH and I have remortgaged several times. We always have to send scans of our passports, bank statements and we both have to sign all documents.
Do you know who the current mortgage is with? Have you seen the documents?

Standard on MN lately.

I know, what happened to women supporting each other?

I wish OP would engage with those posters who are trying to help her though as from the little she has posted it looks like she is going to stay with him and do nothing which would be the worst thing to do.

I know it's the head in the sand approach but if he has remortgaged then there's every possibility that OP no longer has any legal responsibility to meet the mortgage payments. That's something we could help her with.

Stop paying ... you will not be entitled to anything unless he is an honest person abd will voluntarily give you half.

Why would you give advice like this when you don’t know that it is correct?

I'm going through the remortgage process at the moment. I have been the main person doing the admin, but there have been several documents that all parties have had to provide/sign. Even when we moved to a new fixed arrangement with our existing provider, I'm sure DH and I both had to sign it off. So I would be very concerned if he has remortgaged without your input.

That mortgage arrangement is horrifying, I've never heard of that kind of mortgage before, but the way your partner has used it absolutely screams financial coercion. If your salary was good enough to be considered for the mortgage, then there would have been absolutely no reason why you couldn't have been included as an owner of the property. I hate to say it but it seems to me that he has deliberately screwed you over here. I will add my voice to the others very strongly urging you to get some legal/financial advice to stop him screwing you over any further.

Ah I see, thanks.

I hope there's a case to show that she was mis sold this product. I wonder how this was pitched to her?

These financial fuck over threads make me feel sick. Poor OP, starting to see who this man really is.

He remortgaged without telling you? So your no longer in the mortgage? Happy days. You don't want to be on the mortgage of a house that you're not in the deeds of. You can walk away. You won't get anything from the house as you're effectively a tennent. This is the best case scenario. There's no reason for you to stay. You were never going to get anything from the house. It's crap but it is what it is.

We don’t know exactly what OP means by remortgaged. Her ex may have just entered into a new fixed rate deal with the same lender. In that case the main mortgage terms remain, just the interest rate changes. It isn’t necessary for all parties to the mortgage to sign off if this is the case, one of the parties can accept on behalf of all. I have recently done this to accept a new fixed rate deal where we stayed with the same lender. I accepted via my app and confirmed I had permission of all parties, but I didn’t have to do anything to prove that.

OP, be careful not to take any rash action before you have established exactly what your position is and taken advice from a specialist solicitor.

In that case, op you need to talk to the bank asap to clarify your position.

Both signing is standard.

Have i missed where the OP has said which country she is located, and therefore which laws have to be abided by?

if this is what you have then he has stitched you up like a kipper
he used your income to get the mortgage and if he didn’t pay they could come after you
but the property 100 percent belongs to him
not you

the fact that you have signed something agreeing to this would mean you have very very little chance of getting anything of him

you wouldn’t even be able to buy another place on your own if you’d still liable for his mortgage
I think you would need to be taken off the mortgage and he would have to remortgage in his own name which he might not want to do if he can’t afford the mortgage on his own

Joint Borrower Sole Proprietor (JBSP) mortgage allows up to four people to be jointly responsible for loan repayments, while only one person (or fewer than all borrowers) owns the property and is listed on the title deeds. It increases borrowing power by including family income without transferring ownership, helping first-time buyers boost affordability

Because you signed a piece of paper than means your liable but your not the owner or the property

you have very little rights as your not the owner

ignorance isn’t a defense

In fact the fact that your already on the mortgage could even affect you being able to rent anywhere as when the landlord / agency do a credit check they will see that you “ have a mortgage “ therefore your income wouldn’t be enough to rent - even if you’re not paying the mortgage your still liable for it as far a rental agencies are concerned

Definitely do your own credit check and see where you are at before moving forward. Quite frankly, if you aren’t on the deed and not on the mortgage, that could be good.