Affair partner decided to stay despite him being married, should i tell wife?

[Hotconflict]

I became involved with a man recently who presented as fully divorced, single, and showed me 'papers' as proof.
Long story short, I was suspicious, did some digging and discovered he had been married for 16 years. There had been a divorce filed but this had been dismissed.
I also discovered he had a long distance partner. I contacted the LDR, told her about me, that he was married with property etc and provided proof. She thanked me, apologised, said it was terrible and that my information aligned.
A week later she blocked me and is staying with him. She told me she had been with him for over five years and then deleted the message.
I dont believe his wife will find out any other way and the LDR has decided to continue the affair. There are children involved.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Honestly, I would leave it alone. You are hurt and angry, but walk away and live your best life.

Just leave it.

not sure what advice you want? I’d forget about him and move on. It’s up to her if she wants to stay with him.

Leave well alone, you’ve told the LDR woman, she may have believed you, but it may not change anything. There’s no point telling the wife, you would presume she already knows. He sounds an awful guy, wife and in relationships with 2 women, hope you are well rid of him.

I’d leave it too. It must be hard to get over the hurt but it honestly sounds as though you’ve dodged a bullet. Concentrate on planning something positive instead

Leave it alone-not your business or problem.

What do you mean the divorce request was rejected? By who?

For you I think not my monkey, not my circus.

Stay the hell away and forget him. You're acting out of spite d sms jealousy that a player played you.

Move on. You're just a scratch to his itch and you could play along a little bit what's the point?

He like to f many women and is hoping some fool will tell his wife so he can get a divorce. She's probably a doe-eyed victim of a nasty abuser who has a good reason to not divorce him. That smells like money or property to me.

Get yourself tested for STIs. You're probably not his first dirty little secret and probably not his last.
Then find some self respect.

He's not a nice man. He's weak- unable to keep the promise to his wife to "forsake all others for as long as we both shall live". He's a liar, he's a cheat.

He was even cheating on the person he was cheating on his wife with...

A request for dismissal of the proceedings was lodged and granted so they remain legally married.

Just move on and forget his drama.

Why do you so desperately want to be involved in this?

Just get on with your life.

I am obviously not involved with him at all now. I did think the LDR was duped also but at this point she is complicit. She is in her 40s and wishing for the distance to end after five years.
I just wondered if the wife had a right to know but my instinct is to stay well away

This

I would take several long salt showers and then thank my lucky stars I was able to simply walk away from such a duplicitous scumbag.

I would also probably get an STI check.

He’s sleeping with multiple people, without them knowing about each other. I’d tell her. It’s a health risk.

Absolutely tell her.

I can't understand the other posters who are happy to keep the wife in the dark or assume the worst of her (e.g. gold-digger).

Women need to look out for women. I would say once you've told her, you should step back and accept that she might choose to stay. Be prepared for that.

Yes it is the health risk element, but also
there are children involved and I am not sure I want to get dragged into anything.

It's not that I 'desperately want to be involved'.
I just asked for objective advice, given the LDR now knows (or maybe knew along), is it right to keep the wife in the dark?

I think you need to back off for your own sake really."players only love you when theyre playing" as FM says.He is having a great time keeping both of you and DW going! He is dishonest and cruel .

Why do you think she doesn’t know?

Plenty of wives look the other way

Ironically, after I informed the LDR, she posted a quote about women supporting women, which I thought was bizarre.

And yes I have blocked, deleted, unfollowed etc so I can no longer see nonsense

I wouldn’t get dragged in. I’d send her a factual, unemotional message with some evidence. I’d say that I knew it was none of my business but that due to the STI risk I felt I had to say something.
And then I’d leave it. I’d block him, if that’s not done already, and I wouldn’t follow up with her, or respond to any emotional messages or accusations that you’re lying etc.

Some women are aware of their husband having affairs and choose to pretend they don’t know about it, for their own reasons like financial stability or not breaking up the children’s home. If this couple filed for divorce at one point there are clearly problems in the relationship anyway. If he’s having multiple long term affairs, it is likely she knows or could find out if she was suspicious and wanted to. You probably aren’t going to reveal to her some mindblowing secret.

Personally I would leave it. You never know how people will react. Just move on.

You could be right. I don't know. I would think after five years at least one of the women would suspect the other. His job requires extensive travel so is a good cover.