Partner admits takes ecstasy on nights out

[SatelliteSpaceman]

Pretty much as the title says , newish partner admits to taking ecstasy on nights out with their friends, obviously an illegal class A drug and leaves them shattered and low the next day.

reason enough to leave them?

No

Not enough of a reason on its own, no. However if they are leaving you to, for example, parent newborn triplets alone all weekend while they recover, yes probably.

For me, absolutely reason enough to end a relationship. Especially a new one.

I have zero interest in spending time with people who do drugs, with or without me present

I would. I grew out of any interest in Class As and the people that take them in my early 20s after some bad experiences.

If it’s not something that bothers you though then probably not a reason to leave on it’s own.

I’d dump. I don’t take recreational drugs, never have, and as I have a long friendship with a close mate who is in border force she would end our friendship if I had a relationship with a drug user of any kind.

Plus I think people who take drugs are boring.

I would. I hate drug users with a passion. Always selfish and always think they are safe to drive. That's before you dive into the murky areas of county lines and trafficking.

MDMA is lovely and pretty harmless apart from the seratonin drop for a couple of days. I'm too old to do it more than once or twice a year and I wouldn't want to date a raver in his 40s/50s who is still chasing the sesh every weekend because that's just not the stage of life I'm at. But the fact that it's a drug per se doesn't bother me.

Leave. New bf who admits to drug use, why would you stay?

If you don't leave, double up on contraception. Psychoactives can affect sperm.

It does t matter what anyone else thinks - you can end a relationship for any reason you want to.

For me it would depend a lot of factors. I admit it took ecstasy in my 20’s but that was because went to raves back then. I wouldn’t do or tolerate drugs nowadays

are you both 18?? If not, and if he’s a grown adult, then yes I would end it. What’s attractive about a grown man doing ecstasy on a night out. Most people grow up and grow out of things that you would do when younger. Also don’t forget that what your body might be able to take when younger won’t be able to withstand it the older you are. I know of a guy who took drugs like this on nights out, never grew out of it and died age 46.

You don't need reason to split up with a newish boyfriend, you're not 'leaving them'. If the relationship doens't work for you just end it?

No, both in our 50s actually !
Im M partner is F - she goes out dancing/ clubbing on Saturday night etc ( not for me ) and is knackered on Sunday and not really fit for anything

I think I’m going to end it over this really

I’m M partner is F and takes MDMA

You don't need permission to leave 'them'.

If it bothers you, leave.

If it doesn't, don't.

If your curious, why not have some with 'them'?

Yes. ASAP.

That would bother me tbh. If you were both in your 20’s it’s different but I find it a bit sad when middle aged plus people still do drugs

I know a few people who still took class A’s into middle age who died of heart attacks in their 50’s

you are old enough to know that setting your own boundaries is part of a healthy relationship. You know yourself. If this makes you uncomfortable, that is all that matters.

move on. You both deserve better matches.

God I’d get rid of- who on earth wants to be with a druggie? You can do better than this.

it’s not just the drug use it’s the whole situation of exploitation and crime and she’s funding this

get rid

Does he expect you to be there making him feel better during the lows?

If you don't feel comfortable with it generally (without other problems), that's fine.

A deciding factor could be if you like other things about the relationship more than you dislike his E habit.

Agree with this. There’s an awful lot worse drugs than ecstasy, which is pretty safe. Only downside as PP’s have stated is the exhaustion and low after for a few days, but better in my opinion to coke or excess alcohol.

Thanks - I think you have hit the nail on the head, newish female partner in her 50’s is divorced- kids are older and I think she looking to relive her raver past a bit 👍, taking MDMA is not the end of the world for me , but the following day is a write off really

A 50 odd year old taking hard drugs on nights out… it would definitely be a no from me! I think most of us have probably dabbled when younger but what you do in your late teens / 20s most people grow out of.

Fuck that.

Goodness, yes! Of course it's enough, @SatelliteSpaceman anything is enough if it is not something you can't be comfortable with. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. I personally always knew I could never date a smoker. I don't think they are bad people, I am not better than they are, but it's something that is a no for me. I'd feel the same about a partner taking ecstasy. Don't feel pressured or feel like you owe a different reason. Especially given that it is a newish relationship, It's not like you are leaving the father of your 6 children behind after a marriage of 20 years because one day he got tipsy at a wedding. In a world where anything is a good enough reason, this is a surely a perfectly fine one.

(Can I also say, such behaviour I'd expect from some dumb 18-year, so that is even more of an ew.)

I've seen so many lives ruined from drugs its not something I would tolerate in a relationship