Would You Just Block after this

[FirstDateRating]

I had a first date yesterday evening, which was a bank holiday where I live.

We had been chatting for about a week and he asked for a drink date. It was arranged for last Thursday, but he said last Monday that a work dinner came up and could we move to yesterday.

The place he selected in (small) city centre and is like a hipster food mall. Loads of different authentic ethnic foods places that prepared on site and then mass seating. It isn’t inconvenient for me, but it’s within walking distance of his place.

We met and he got the first drinks, (a half pint for him) and a non-alcoholic drink for me.
Then I said, oh do you want to order food? He said No, I don’t eat in the evenings, just go to the gym. So I ordered (and paid) for a shareable Meze plate and offered him at regular intervals, of which he ate zero.

The conversation was interesting enough but not flirty at all. We did end up chatting for three hours. He sent a nice message afterwards.

However, the not eating felt massively stingy to me, and I’m tempted to just block.
Do you think it’s an over reaction?

Block rather than just end it nicely with a 'no spark let's leave it' there message? It's not an over-reaction to end it - for any reason - but a bit odd to just block him.

If you don’t want to see him again (I wouldn’t), you certainly don’t have to. Just tell him you’re not feeling it.

Why would you ‘just block’?

Why would you block? Seems unnecessarily brutal. Just say you had a very nice time but there was no spark for you.

Blocking quite extreme, chances are he wasn’t feeling it either, just do nothing and delete his number, if he does make contact then simply say you didn’t feel a connection.

Blocking someone is either a) a reaction to something that you find deeply alien or off-putting, or b) an unwillingness to communicate "no" in an adult way for convenience.
It feels like a bit of an overkill to block for this. Why not leave it as is, and if he is enquiring about further steps or more dates, you can just say no thank you?

I think the block is because the stinginess felt a bit insulting. Like a passive aggressive show of disrespect I suppose. But that could be me reading too much into it.

I definitely did not expect him to buy me dinner, and am careful to pay my way. But that really rubbed me up the wrong way.

I guess I would like to hear a justification from the male side!

It does seem odd to go to somewhere that’s food oriented then not eat . But no need to block just reply saying thank you for nice time but you don’t think there’s a spark and wish him well

He's literally just told you that the gym is more important to him than eating a normal evening meal.

The gym will be more important to him than you are.

I think it was rude of him to not give you a head s up that he wouldn't be eating.

We had been chatting for about a week and he asked for a drink date

He asked you for ‘drinks’? Why did you assume dinner?

Deleted as seen the update

Missed that bit. So he did say it was a drink date - so I don’t see why him not eating when that wasn’t the plan is block worthy

He invited you for a drinks date and had a drink. I could understand your issue if he invited you for dinner then didn't eat, but the intent was out in the open to have drinks.

I agree with others though - if his routine is that rigid, it's not going to flex for a relationship and that would definitely put me off. I wouldn't block him though; that's far more passive aggressive than ordering drinks only on a drinks date!

I would be wondering if the "work dinner" was really dinner date with someone else, but I'm paranoid! Yes to echo the others I'd just leave it as he may not contact you again anyway

Seems an odd place to go not to eat. But is he really being stingy? He just didn't want to eat.

I'm inclined to think it was more of a case that you felt embarrassed to be only one eat?

But why? He asked you for drinks not dinner. You got yourself something to eat. No insult there. But there was no spark. Just tell him that if he asks you again.

Because of where he picked! There are loads of bars on the same street!

Well, @FirstDateRating ,
Just responding to you saying: "I guess I would like to hear a justification from the male side!"
We won't be able to solve what was in his head, so far from me to justify another man's actions for you, let alone speak for him... But one thing I would say is that usually there is no master plan of reverse psychology and hidden meanings behind these things. He asked you for a drink date, got some drinks.. The gym thing could have been just something he is very seriously into, or something he wanted to drop thinking it could impress you. I cannot see it as an intentionally disrespectful act towards you (If he thinks lowly of you that he means to diss, why ask you out in the first place?). Would there be other spots for a drink date? Sure, I can see that, but that just means that his choice of a venue was not your favourite. Truth be told, I would hate a bar date, i'd rather hear what my partner has to say, rather than music. I am just brainstorming here, my point being that it almost doesn't matter, I think you may be reading too much into it, but if there is no spark, there is no spark, no need for justification. Blocking is a bit of an overkill though, as I mentioned above. He didn't do anything offensive, per se, so if he pursues, just be honest and respectfully decline.

Not everybody can eat in the evenings, I can’t eat after 4.30pm a to a stomach issue and horrific GERD. He didn’t sit there and eat your food. I really can’t see what your issue is tbh? Would you have petered him to have 3 courses , eaten some of yours and down 4 pints?

Your reaction is quite dramatic for the situation. He asked you for drinks. He bought you a drink. He then didn’t eat any of the food you purchased.

do you think he was stingy because he didn’t eat or because he didn’t buy you food? It can’t be the latter as you’ve said you wouldn’t expect him to. So what actually is your beef?

People on MN are weird about blocking. You have no intention of seeing him again, so block away if that feels right. We don't owe anyone the privilege of being able to contact us whenever they like! However, he might find it a bit overkill based on the date you described. The gym remark might make me eye roll internally, though. Whether that impacts your decision is entirely up to you.

I think you're massively over reading. He said he didn't eat in the evening. He didn't even sample your food. You bought sharing food that he'd said he didn't want. He sent a nice message.

There is no reason to block. Just tell him it was nice meeting him but there was no chemistry (or whatever words you'd normally use). Wish him well in his search.

You sound like you might be hard work. Probably best to have a little self awareness about that.

Eh? He literally asked you for a drink, took you to a place where you could get a drink and didn’t want any food for a good reason. You chatted for a long time and he sent a nice follow up message. This guy has done literally nothing wrong! it certainly isn’t stingy to not eat on a date that has been specified to not involve food - this seems like you were after a free dinner tbh!
seems extreme to block - I’d probably decline a follow up but based on the lack of chemistry etc as his behaviour was fine!

I wouldn't want to date a man who didn't eat in the evenings - but it's not 'insulting' or 'stingy' that he didn't eat. He asked you out for a drink and he had a drink. What's the problem?

I don't understand why you bought a sharing platter and kept offering him food when he'd told you he doesn't eat in the evenings? And of course you paid for the sharing platter - you wanted it and you ordered it and you ate it. He'd clearly told you he wasn't planning to eat anything.

Just tell him you don't think there was enough of a spark and leave it at that. You don't need to block him.

Some people don’t like eating in front of others. He could have disordered eating or have a phobia about eating using public plates/utensils. He could have issues swallowing food etc.

Who knows?