Would You Just Block after this

[FirstDateRating]

I had a first date yesterday evening, which was a bank holiday where I live.

We had been chatting for about a week and he asked for a drink date. It was arranged for last Thursday, but he said last Monday that a work dinner came up and could we move to yesterday.

The place he selected in (small) city centre and is like a hipster food mall. Loads of different authentic ethnic foods places that prepared on site and then mass seating. It isn’t inconvenient for me, but it’s within walking distance of his place.

We met and he got the first drinks, (a half pint for him) and a non-alcoholic drink for me.
Then I said, oh do you want to order food? He said No, I don’t eat in the evenings, just go to the gym. So I ordered (and paid) for a shareable Meze plate and offered him at regular intervals, of which he ate zero.

The conversation was interesting enough but not flirty at all. We did end up chatting for three hours. He sent a nice message afterwards.

However, the not eating felt massively stingy to me, and I’m tempted to just block.
Do you think it’s an over reaction?

He’s probably irritated with you for ordering food when he asked you out for a drink!

If someone invites me for a drink, I assume we’re having a drink. If one person hasn’t eaten then maybe they will get food, but it wasn’t explicit in the plans. (And I would not be prepared to pay for food I didn’t want or eat)

I have been on dates where the other person has got food and I haven’t. If no one mentions dinner, then I will eat beforehand and I don’t like eating on dates anyway - it’s awkward as you are trying to have a conversation between mouthfuls and difficult if it’s a rubbish date because you have to stay until you’ve finished and got the bill.

I don’t understand why you would block instead of just telling him you had a nice time but didn’t feel a spark/don’t think you’re compatible as he didn’t really do anything wrong. It’s more mature and gives him closure. So yes I do think you’d be unreasonable

Actually, and this has just clicked with me - he definitely did eat at the business dinner, because he asked me whether I knew that restaurant and that all his clients love it!

So everything that can be expensed is made the most of, but something which requires his own effort and resources is minimised.

I was actually right at the start - he is stingy. Thank goodness he set his stall out from the beginning.

Thanks @rainbowstardrops I really appreciate your post.

@FirstDateRating did you find him attractive? You obviously got on to talk so long? Give him a chance if so. He might not go to the gym every night?

I doubt he's irritated with her - he sent a nice message. She did nothing wrong and neither did he. They did what they wanted on the date and had a good chat. It's only now she's having mad thoughts that he's stingy and needs blocking for no good reason.

This is a bit extreme. Why does it matter who eats and who doesn’t? I could see your point if you’d agreed to go for dinner at an actual restaurant, but he suggested drinks, and this food place sounds a bit more causal where people can eat if they want.

I don’t see how he disrespected you; you honestly sound like hard work and I think it’s very extreme and a bit controlling to be worked up about whether or not someone is eating.

Your update makes you sound like an overthinker. It was 1 date!

So everything that can be expensed is made the most of, but something which requires his own effort and resources is minimised.

omg this is such a mad reach! Don't you think it's more likely he ate at the work dinner because it's expected and he wouldn't get away with not eating then? Also that he probably didn't go to the gym that night - and won't every single night. Your stingy conspiracy theory is so weird. He'd just rather not eat in the evenings. That's not so wild these days. But obviously move on, he's not for you.

What a bizzare leap.

And what would be wrong with that? He's allowed to date other people, as is the OP

Blocking is definitely overkill. Just give him a thanks but no chemistry thing as others have said.
I don't get the food thing at all. He suggested drinks. He had a drink. Presumably you discussed eating at some point as you ordered food and he had no issues with that.
In terms of the hard work comment, I agree with that. I'd not want a second date with someone who turned a complete non-issue into a blocking offense.

No, you weren’t right at the start - you’re hearing what you want to hear and looking for excuses when you don’t need one.

The difference between these two places is one is a restaurant where it’s generally expected that people will eat.

I genuinely don’t see how this guy is stingy, but please do him a favour and move on so he can find someone normal and less highly strung.

Hes not necessarily stingy, maybe he's just more of a lunch person usually. If you otherwise liked him id think it was over reaction to block for not eating dinner. Maybe try a lunch date

Now that’s a leap and a half. Eating at business dinners is an expectation, eating on drinks dates isn’t.

You obviously don’t like the bloke so just tell him rather than making up your own agenda to character assassinate the poor sod.

I think blocking him would do him a favour

Jeez!! I think he’s the one who has had a lucky escape here!!

If he was my ds I'd ask you not to meet him again. You sound hard work tbh. Relax!

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with this. If he’s a gym bunny maybe he prefers a clean diet so if he eats out that’s the same. He did request drinks though so you blocking him is unkind.

If you chatted for 3 hours surely you got on. You could’ve left earlier if you weren’t feeling it.

He will have eaten at the business dinner because he had arranged a business dinner.

He had a drink with you because he arranged to have a drink with you.

No idea why you are so offended he didn’t eat.

But you don’t have to date anyone you don’t want to.

Despite all your protestations OP, you are the one who is very much interested in money being spent.

You precisely remembered what drinks he bought you (weighing up the cost of his half-pint and your non-alcoholic drink) and were annoyed that he didn't spend more money by buying any food. Your obsession with with business expenses is a further example.

Message him back, saying you're not compatible because you expect him to spend a lot more money on you.

Wasn’t OP irked that he didn’t share her sharing board? Which is his prerogative.

Sounds a bit odd but I wouldn't take it as an insult.

If you're not interested just say so and move on.

"It was arranged for last Thursday, but he said last Monday that a work dinner came up and could we move to yesterday."

No work dinner suddenly poped up, he had another offer that either he couldnt move or didnt work out, hes treating you like a back up anyway, dont block just let him know hes below your standards for a partner and wish him luck in his search, that way you get to take charge of the situation.

Come on CurlewKate, you are not new here? People cant just walk away without some dramatic act.

How could you possibly know that no work dinner suddenly popped up? What's with all this paranoia and overthinking?? It was a nice date on the face of it. They didn't spark and turns out she doesn't like people not eating/spending. That's all there is to it.