Would You Just Block after this

[FirstDateRating]

I had a first date yesterday evening, which was a bank holiday where I live.

We had been chatting for about a week and he asked for a drink date. It was arranged for last Thursday, but he said last Monday that a work dinner came up and could we move to yesterday.

The place he selected in (small) city centre and is like a hipster food mall. Loads of different authentic ethnic foods places that prepared on site and then mass seating. It isn’t inconvenient for me, but it’s within walking distance of his place.

We met and he got the first drinks, (a half pint for him) and a non-alcoholic drink for me.
Then I said, oh do you want to order food? He said No, I don’t eat in the evenings, just go to the gym. So I ordered (and paid) for a shareable Meze plate and offered him at regular intervals, of which he ate zero.

The conversation was interesting enough but not flirty at all. We did end up chatting for three hours. He sent a nice message afterwards.

However, the not eating felt massively stingy to me, and I’m tempted to just block.
Do you think it’s an over reaction?

Yeh, for his sake, block him!

Very odd to get weird with him when he doesnt want to eat. He asked you for drinks and you think he's stingy because he didnt pay for food when he didnt want or need food.

Poor bloody sod. Fail to see what he did wrong here.

What is it with the blocking as well? It's so dramatic and unnecessary. I've only ever blocked people who were harassing me and being a nuisance. Probably about 2 people in my life. Why do you need to block someone you met once?

Are you one of those people who just look for negative stuff in everything? Or are always on the lookout for 'red flags'.

He didn't want any of your meze. So bloody what.

This.

It wouldn’t be a problem for me, I think first dates, from what I’ve seen are drinks, but it’s a shame the date wasn’t made clearer that he wanted drinks, no food. You spoke for 3 hours, was there any spark there and how did you leave it.

I think blocking is childish and OTT if he hasn’t actually done anything wrong/gave you creepy vibes. He didn’t scoff down your food so he wasn’t being stingy, he just didn’t want food for whatever reason.

Just tell him you’re not feeling it and let him be.

Yikes! Just to answer some of the points.

1. I didn’t expect him to buy me dinner. I always pay my way, as I have previously said.
2. I bought the Mezzes (small portion not a platter) partially because that’s what I wanted, and partly to be considerate and not all Joey Doesn’t Share. I wasn’t force feeding him, or saying Mrs Doyle gwan gwan, sure you will.
3. I think if you don’t or can’t eat in the evening then inviting someone to an eating place, in the evening, when there are drinks options available (including quiet ones!) seems … sub-optimal.
4. I wasn’t weird with him - I just privately drew my own inferences from his choices.

i think whoever said a polite “No spark” message will be sufficient, has it correct.

So there is a first date at a place that serves drinks and also food. He says it is a drinks date, you go on a drinks date, carefully monitor what drinks he has bought you and himself, ask if he wants to eat, he says no, you ignore him and order a sharing platter and refuse to listen that he doesn't eat in the evenings, and then moan that he is stingy because he didn't eat any food that you paid for.

Did his nice message include a suggestion to meet again? If not, you don’t need to do anything. He’s not interested.

Jeez I think you are the one with the issue here. There are loads of places like this where its v casual - eat/don't eat/have a drink.

He literally spelled out what the intention was...

Surely it would be stingy if ate the food you paid for, not that he didn’t?
You arranged to go for a drink not dinner, and he didn’t want dinner. It’s hardly the crime of the century. It’s a bit odd to block him for any reason let alone this on its own. You have no obligation to see him again if you weren’t feeling it, blocking is just unnecessary.

OP acknowledges he invited her for a “drink date” though, weird term imo but how much clearer could he have made it though?

In what way do you think I might be hard work?

You're making a big issue out of nothing. No need to block. Just say thanks but no thanks.

I woudnt be up for a second date either . I love my food it’s so important to me and I wouldn’t gel with someone who was like that .

Just text him and say there was no chemistry for you.

If the roles were swapped there would be a lot of people here talking about how much he would be pushing your boundaries by ordering food regardless of what you said and kept trying to make you eat it.

He asked you for a drinks date. He had a drink. I don’t see he’s done anything wrong in that respect.

If you’re not feeling attracted to him, that’s fine of course and no need for second chances.

Blocking seems immature and extreme.

I wouldn’t block him I don’t think but I would message and say thanks but no thanks kind of thing.
I wonder if he ate anything at the work’s dinner? 🤔

He sounds a bundle of fun!

You have some rigid ideas of what’s appropriate behaviour, like not being allowed to only order drinks in a place that does drinks and food, or leaping to blocking someone.

But why is one person ordering food, with an offer (but not command) to share, pushing boundaries. Do you think I did something wrong or gauche by ordering food at a food place, and picking something which is flexible for sharing?

You didn’t just offer though you “offered at regular intervals” which is pushy and weird.

I have to agree, suggesting meeting at a food mall implies an intention to eat something. Maybe just me.

If you send a message indicating that you dont want to take the relationship further I would expect him to accept that gracefully. Either silence of a "No problem,. see you around" neutral. However if the other tried to persuade me into another date I would then block because I would feel they were disrespecting my wishes.

Surely the food mall is ideal because it give you the option to eat - which you did want to - and him the option to just have a drink, plus it's a public place which is good for first dates.

I don't remotely get how you see it as 'stingy' when he had valid reasons not to want to eat, paid for drinks, set it up as a drinks date so never pretended he wanted to eat but you had the option and you took it. Why on earth is he stingy? He doesn't eat in the evenings. Now that could be a reason why you'd not be compatible, fair enough, but if he doesn't eat it the evenings, it's not stingy to not buy a dinner he won't eat. He didn't eat yours either so it's not like he was on the scrounge. I think you must have heightened issues around guys being stingy, but in this case I think your radar's off.