Would You Just Block after this

[FirstDateRating]

I had a first date yesterday evening, which was a bank holiday where I live.

We had been chatting for about a week and he asked for a drink date. It was arranged for last Thursday, but he said last Monday that a work dinner came up and could we move to yesterday.

The place he selected in (small) city centre and is like a hipster food mall. Loads of different authentic ethnic foods places that prepared on site and then mass seating. It isn’t inconvenient for me, but it’s within walking distance of his place.

We met and he got the first drinks, (a half pint for him) and a non-alcoholic drink for me.
Then I said, oh do you want to order food? He said No, I don’t eat in the evenings, just go to the gym. So I ordered (and paid) for a shareable Meze plate and offered him at regular intervals, of which he ate zero.

The conversation was interesting enough but not flirty at all. We did end up chatting for three hours. He sent a nice message afterwards.

However, the not eating felt massively stingy to me, and I’m tempted to just block.
Do you think it’s an over reaction?

This is a point isn't it?

You changed the goalposts here. You agreed to meet for drinks but got food. That's a bit weird at best IMO, if you didnt want to meet for drinks why did you?

And at worst, a bit embarrassing. If I were him I'd be worried I'd not made myself clear enough and/or I'd made you feel awkward.

Why would you agree to meet to do something (ie have drinks) and then be annoyed when that's what happened?!

It's really confused me.

I did answer this before - but the reason I assumed food, was because of where he selected, which is a completely food orientated place. If you want drinks, arrange to go to a bar!

But I am happy to own that I got it wrong, and will in future double check.

In any case, I have now sent a polite not feeling the chemistry message, and not blocked. He is more than welcome to unmatch/ block me if he wishes.

Thanks for all the inputs, it’s certainly been interesting.

Really? This is the conclusion you reached? If he was stingy he would have eaten some of what you purchased. He might be intermittent fasting, or unable to eat after a certain time because of a medical condition.

You sound like hard work and he has had a lucky escape imo

But why would you assume food when you said “he planned a drink date”?
It’s not exactly weird one party to order a snack when it’s available at the location, but it’s weird to get bent out of shape when he doesn’t order food after specifically arranging a drink date. You assumed the exact opposite of what had actually been agreed, which is weird!

And these places sell drinks as well as food so no need to arrange to go to a bar. If you want drinks, they sell them and are nice enough places to hang out on a first date, evidently!

Totally agree with you . The guy did nothing wrong

But why did you want to feel generous offering to share your food with him? I suppose it was a nice thing to do but not something I’d do on a first date.

But she said she didn’t get in a huff when they didn’t eat!

"I haven't eaten so I'm just going to get myself something to have with this drink. Do you want to order anything? No? OK, fine"

How hard is this? The human race is going to die out if we carry on with such weirdness.

Oh that was great fun, this thread is so pleasingly loopy, honestly how does anyone get it on these days with all the imaginary sub plots and overthinking

She clearly did though or she wouldn’t have deduced that he was stingy and made the post?!

To try and squash her feeling stingy by accepting his offer of a drink, not buying a round and instead buying for herself? 😂

@FirstDateRating i was thinking the same too . Why did you think food when he asked you for drinks. I think if I’d planned a quick drink date and I bought the first round the other person went on to not buy the next but order and eat food . I’d think they lacked manners.

She’s literally started a thread saying she wants to block him because of precisely this!

because no Work dinner is ever not arranged weeks in advance, thats why.

That's simply not true. Might be in your experience, but that's not definitive, at all.

with little to no notice? and what do you do if you have prior arrangements? rubbish he got an offer he was more interested in and it didnt work out. hes back its not paranoia its what happens with online dating,

yes he is but not move an already arranged date to another to accomodate someone else.

Your experience is not at all universal. I regularly had evening work dinners arranged less than a week in advance.

It has little to no relevance to the original topic, but in the world of corporate, for example there's a lot of impromptu work dinners - not just in less than a week - but the same bloody day. Unexpected visit of a c-suite member from overseas... Between last August and December I had 3 like this. Got out of 2. So it does happen. Let's not turn our own experience into general rules.

Agree. I work in finance and I’ve had many ‘are you free tonight we’re taking visitors out’ or else someone has to drop out last minute and the invite is extended.

And of course if you’re at a corporate hospitality dinner you can’t say ‘no thanks I’m not eating’

Obviously if I’m on holiday then I can’t go. I’ve often rearranged drinks with friends if something comes up. They completely understand and I do when it happens to them. It’s not that I am more interested in a dinner than them - the opposite!

Why do you think his business dinner work out? She said it did and they talked about the restaurant he went to.

Have you ever worked in an environment where business dinners are a regular occurrence?

Yes, that is simply not true! I was very junior in a previous organisation years ago but would often be asked 'Such and such a client is coming over, are you available to pick them up/take them out this evening'. It's not unusual at all IME and I know friends who've been from all walks of industry who've had to do this too. I would get vouchers or allowance for it.

To be fair, he called it a drink date.