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Original poster

Son swore and partner is angry

133 replies

TwoWindowsillTeddies · 23/02/2026 08:46

DS14 was in the shower. My partner came down and knocked on bathroom door, 4 times and didn’t answer when DS said who’s there. He meant this as a joke.

DS came out of bathroom and said to his sister ‘why the f**k were you knocking on the bathroom door’

Swearing is not allowed in my house and gets a tech ban, so he now has a tech ban. Ds absolutely didn’t need to come out and swear and while it’s irritating when someone knocks several times while you’re in the bathroom it’s not something worth getting angry about. DS was angry.

I don’t think my partner should have done it, or at least after knocking a couple of times he should have just said ‘it’s me, don’t worry’ or some such.

DS was not justified to act as he did, but I don’t think my partners behaviour was good either. Am I wrong to think this?

OP posts:
KitsyWitsy · 23/02/2026 08:48

What a way to live. Jesus.

FrenchandSaunders · 23/02/2026 08:51

A tech ban for the odd f word .... I couldn't wait for mine to be mid teens so we could all relax on the swearing front. Massive over-reaction.

CrackSpackle · 23/02/2026 08:56

Your partner is in the wrong here. Why disturb someone having a shower to begin with, and how rude not to answer who was there!! It’s not in any way funny, nor was it meant to be. Your partner was acting goady and like an a-hole.

Original poster
TwoWindowsillTeddies · 23/02/2026 08:57

If it was not aimed at anyone I might have let it slide, but it was aimed at his sister which isn’t ok.

OP posts:
Seeline · 23/02/2026 08:57

Your partner is as immature as the kids! I assume he is not their father? He needs to grow up.
I think a tech ban at 14, when they have been wound up by a grown man is totally over the top as well.
Your partner should apologise to both children.

Haggisfish3 · 23/02/2026 08:58

I agree with previous posters. Partner is in the wrong here, not ds.

ItsmeMargo · 23/02/2026 09:00

I’m with DS on this one. Someone repeatedly knocking on the door whilst you’re trying to have a shower, and not answering when you ask who it is… A pretty childish thing to do, so no wonder he thought it was his sister. Yes, two wrongs don’t make a right, but your partner kicked this one off.

MidWayThruJanuary · 23/02/2026 09:03

Let me guess - he is not their father but they 'adore' him.
And yes, your partner was totally wrong.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/02/2026 09:04

It wasn’t “aimed at his sister” he didn’t call her a fucking anything. It was just an irritated part of a perfectly reasonable question to what was a deeply irritating and unfunny “prank” from your OH.

traveltraveltravel78 · 23/02/2026 09:04

Your partner was being a knob

MagicMarkers · 23/02/2026 09:05

Your partner is annoying and it was not unreasonable for your son to think that it wasn't a grown man behaving so childishly.

I'd also lighten up on the tech ban for swearing.

Indianajet · 23/02/2026 09:06

I very rarely swear, but can understand why your son did. Your partner was ridiculous, and your tech ban is over the top.

fndshalom · 23/02/2026 09:09

Ffs I do wonder how you’ll manage any real problems in life. Chill out with a tech ban, it’s swearing not smoking crack. And your partner sounds an immature bully.

rainbowstardrops · 23/02/2026 09:10

So your partner ‘started it’ but your son is the one who’s ended up with a tech ban. Seems a bit bonkers!

Thisseasonsdiamante · 23/02/2026 09:10

Your partner is irritating. Your son clearly cannot speak back to your partner who was in the wrong so he punched downwards towards his sister. Some very messed up dynamics going on there and yet the focus is on setting rules about swear words.

ILiveForTheYadaYada · 23/02/2026 09:11

I would ask your partner why is he trying to wind up a 14 year old who is naked and probably feels vulnerable whilst in the shower? A power play? It is weird behaviour to repeatedly disturb someone in the bathroom.

A tech ban for swearing is ridiculous and I have two sons who are now young adults.

Talk to him and undo the tech ban, you are way too harsh. The occasional slip up when the vast majority of his mates will also be swearing should be let go.

EscapadeVelocity · 23/02/2026 09:11

Did you have a swearing ban before your partner lived with you? (From your wording I am assuming he is not your children’s father.)

Woodfiresareamazing · 23/02/2026 09:12

TwoWindowsillTeddies · 23/02/2026 08:46

DS14 was in the shower. My partner came down and knocked on bathroom door, 4 times and didn’t answer when DS said who’s there. He meant this as a joke.

DS came out of bathroom and said to his sister ‘why the f**k were you knocking on the bathroom door’

Swearing is not allowed in my house and gets a tech ban, so he now has a tech ban. Ds absolutely didn’t need to come out and swear and while it’s irritating when someone knocks several times while you’re in the bathroom it’s not something worth getting angry about. DS was angry.

I don’t think my partner should have done it, or at least after knocking a couple of times he should have just said ‘it’s me, don’t worry’ or some such.

DS was not justified to act as he did, but I don’t think my partners behaviour was good either. Am I wrong to think this?

"It's not worth getting angry about" - yes it is. A couple of times would be annoying, 4 times is really fucking annoying.

I hate these so-called 'pranks', they're never funny. It makes your partner sound very immature.
If I was your DS I'd be really fucking angry with him for being so childish, and you for the tech ban.

ZanzibarIsland · 23/02/2026 09:13

CrackSpackle · 23/02/2026 08:56

Your partner is in the wrong here. Why disturb someone having a shower to begin with, and how rude not to answer who was there!! It’s not in any way funny, nor was it meant to be. Your partner was acting goady and like an a-hole.

I agree

ZanzibarIsland · 23/02/2026 09:14

Seeline · 23/02/2026 08:57

Your partner is as immature as the kids! I assume he is not their father? He needs to grow up.
I think a tech ban at 14, when they have been wound up by a grown man is totally over the top as well.
Your partner should apologise to both children.

Edited

Agree

OliviaWhatshername · 23/02/2026 09:14

So your partner didn't own up he was the knocking and your son, mistakenly, swore at his sister?

Honestly you all sound about 12!

Your partner is a wally and you're OTT with 'tech bans' for swearing.

How can you actually control a 'tech ban' whatever that is? Do you mean no phones, no internet, no TV?

OliviaWhatshername · 23/02/2026 09:16

Thisseasonsdiamante · 23/02/2026 09:10

Your partner is irritating. Your son clearly cannot speak back to your partner who was in the wrong so he punched downwards towards his sister. Some very messed up dynamics going on there and yet the focus is on setting rules about swear words.

But her son thought it was his sister- that's how I read it.

sundayvibeswig22 · 23/02/2026 09:16

Your partner was in the wrong. That sort of behaviour is really irritating and was used to push yours sons buttons. Swearing is not good but a conversation with your son acknowledging that your partner was an arsehole but that using that language is not appropriate either would’ve been better.

Thisseasonsdiamante · 23/02/2026 09:17

A power play?

I strongly suspect so, especially with the complete lack of recourse and the fact that instead of being able to address it your son is now taking it out on his sister. The fact that you are focussed on a rule about swearing in all of this is very worrying.

I grew up with a much worse version of these types of power dynamics, so much emphasis was put on rules that were really about holding control and not enough on the completely inappropriate abuses of power. Don’t allow this to continue @TwoWindowsillTeddies my situation is a complete lesson to how fucked up these dynamics can get.

CrackSpackle · 23/02/2026 09:19

OP please assist your son in this — a 14 year old boy’s testosterone is through the roof (causes aggression and emotions they find difficult to manage), he was in the shower, naked, and behind tormented by someone and he got angry. No mystery here. Your partner did not mean it as a joke. Jokes are funny. Your DP was deliberately trying to irritate your son and owes him an apology.