How soon would you get married after giving birth?

[Sa11yCinnamon]

This is entirely hypothetical, but I'm currently trying for baby number 2 and just got engaged.

I'm wondering what's the youngest you'd want your DC to be at your wedding - I was thinking maybe 1?

Would love to hear any success/horror stories!

Don’t be ridiculous. MN is 98-99% female. Women are the breadwinner in 25% of couples. Not at all comparable.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/jobs/women-breadwinners-one-in-four-couples/

That still means 75% are not.

Which makes your post unnecessarily sarky.

Sometimes women earn more than men and getting married can actually make them more vulnerable. Not all women are financially dependent on men

@Crushed23 it's not just about being left financially vulnerable in the case of a split, it is also about the ramifications of an unexpected death when unmarried - tax, next of kin, all that stuff. My father and stepmother were a case in point. Their long term cohabitation meant nothing when he died suddenly leaving her - and me as her non-relation - slightly up shit creek when it came to helping manage her care as she was elderly and in ill health.

It sounds like OP has her head screwed on, but so many people don't realise how legally protective marriage can be.

Why wait, just get the job done and get married and you're all set for when baby arrives.

a.s.a.p. op

Time to plan and save, for a start!

Definitely not. It’d be at least next summer if we didn’t have another baby.

Registry office doesn't cost much then throw a big reception at a later date. People make a huge fuss about these things

I got married, took ten minutes, in and out registry office. It was great. That was 19 years ago.

It's the marriage that's important not the wedding.

@user1476613140I agree it’s the marriage that’s important but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to take time to plan the wedding I want. I’m not in a big rush, as I’ve said above I’m perfectly secure.

Majority of women change their work patterns and put their career on hold when they have a baby. This is easily researched with minimum effort.

Im pleased women look out for each other and have each others back with advice.

If the op is so financially secure why isn’t she married?

Eh? So a woman can only be financially secure if she’s married?

It depends how big your wedding is and the temperament of the child. I think I would prefer to get married with a 3 month old in tow rather than an older baby/toddler who would be likely to pull on my hair/earrings and get sticky fingers on my dress.

If a man posted your exact posts the same question would be asked of him. If a woman posted she was in the opposite situation to you she would be told to get herself married.

I got married when DD was 8 weeks.
It was perfect as she spent the majority of the day asleep, she was no bother.
It was a very small and quiet wedding though.

I got married 3 weeks after my son was born, covid delayed marriage surprise rainbow baby oh and we moved house the day before he was born….. not very well planned but it was all fun and games!

Got married with a big party when ds was 4.5 months. I was lucky, I had my mum who fielded ds when needed but he was actually angelic. Slept through the ceremony, totally portable. IMO babies love 120 people and a dance floor. We went for a ceremony venue and village hall both within walking distance of home.

You could do a ceremony while pregnant with minimal family there and a big party after?

Posters could check before assuming. In OPs position, she probably shouldn’t get married. 😬

This is a good point!

But the younger the baby, the closer to sticky toddler my son would be 😂 (he’s 20 months now). Maybe we’ll just wait a few years…

That sounds great!

I’ve no interest in getting married while pregnant, to be clear. And hey I might not even be lucky enough to get pregnant again, as I say it’s all hypothetical 😅

We got married exactly two months after DS1 was born. But it wasn’t a “wedding” if you know what I mean, we just got married. I think it only cost £50! We had a witness each and went out for dinner with them afterwards.

Legally and for asset protection do it as soon as you can before any baby born.

Either before they are 6 months or after about 3 years old would be my choice. This is just from a friends experience but her baby was 14 months and just found the day very over stimulating, didn't nap once, screamed if taken out of mums arms (usually very happy with dad or grandparents) and she found that she didn't get to enjoy her wedding or even get ready properly because she had to give all her attention to her baby, and she just wanted for that day to be able to have her hair and make up done, chat to some friends she didn't see often etc

My daughter was 8 weeks! But my (very antisocial😂) dad kindly volunteered to look after her for the day so they came to the ceremony and then when ‘she’ had had enough he took her away for the evening, worked perfectly for everyone 😂
I did struggle with how I felt in myself though, I had all these plans to lose some weight before the wedding but ended up breaking my leg a couple of weeks after birth so couldn’t exercise or anything. I think it maybe put more pressure on me afterwards!

@Duejuly26oh wow I’m impressed!! I think I'd definitely need longer than that to feel in any way presentable.

@VikingsandDragonsthose are good points! It would also depend when this fictional baby was born as we’d be limited to school holidays for family travelling.