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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ended a relationship with a fellow school parent and he won't leave me be

110 replies

Savvythrifter · 18/02/2026 14:20

I was seeing a man I met through my child's school, he is the parent of somebody my child was friendly with. Long-term single man, no wife or girlfriend incase anybody is wondering. I need to make that clear.

It lasted 8 or 9 months and was ended (by me) in June of last year. It wasn't a nice 'relationship' as he started to show low level abusive tendencies which I'm sure would have escalated if I hadn't broke it off. (Jealousy, a pervasive insecurity and then a controlling nature came to light)

I'm not qualified to diagnose but do have some experience of personality disorders and he strongly fits the profile of somebody with covert narcissism.

He hasn't left me alone since despite me blocking him everywhere IE calls, texts and 3 social media platforms.

When he has managed to get through to me, despite being blocked, I have made it clear I don't want to have a relationship and will not be taking him back but I wish him well and said I had no animosity towards him.

I think my mistake was being too "nice" and polite I just really, really didn't/don't want trouble at the school.

He calls on a withheld number which I have no choice but to answer as I get calls from private numbers that I do have to take (my neurologist, child's paediatrician, school etc - all come up as private calls)

I have implemented a method whereby now, if I get a private call, I answer it and immediately mute my mic, wait to see if its his voice and if it is I then hang up.

In between all of that he is deliberately positioning himself near me at the school to force contact. Our children are in different year groups and as such use entrances on opposite ends of the street which access different playgrounds.

He has no reason to walk the stretch of the street to use 'my' gate at pick up and drop off, but does so anyway, even though it means him then having to go all of the way back to 'his'

A month or so ago he scared the crap out of me in the morning as whilst waiting for the school gates to open I turned around and he was stood directly behind me, clearly wanting to be seen.

He has also on other occasions waited on the corner along 'my' route to school, where he has no business being. My child's father has also spotted him lurking about on days he does the school run and reported back to me.

2 days before valentines day I got a text from somebody claiming to be his sister asking me to please unblock him. I didn't reply and blocked that number too.

He was calling me again this morning.

I am completely fed up and I'm starting to feel a bit scared by how he gives not one shit about the fact I don't want anything to do with him and is trying to force it regardless.

The thought of getting the school or police involved fills me with dread as the whole thing is frankly embarrassing, but I may have to now.

I'm not sure what I want from the thread be it advice or just to be able to get all of this out somewhere but if you've got this far thank you for reading 😕

OP posts:
PippaToriFripp · 18/02/2026 14:22

Police. Yesterday.

ChaToilLeam · 18/02/2026 14:22

He is stalking you. Please go to the police. Don't be embarrassed, it's not your fault at all.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 18/02/2026 14:22

Jesus....

Send him a final message telling him you do not want any more communication from him including creepy calls from private numbers. If he contacts you again you will consider it harassment and stalking and treating accordingly ie the police.
(You shpuld do this so you have proof and he cant claim he "didnt know")

If he contacts you again go straight to the police and make it clear you are scared. Now is not the time to be timid or shy or "nice".
Be firm, be persistent.

I'd also advise the school as theres a safe guarding angle and i'd want to ensure my child was safe.

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:24

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MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2026 14:28

If you can’t face police right now, at least understand that you will probably need them with this one. One ‘cease and desist’ in writing informing him you will be contacting police if he doesn’t, and mean it.

Coffeetimes3 · 18/02/2026 14:29

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MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2026 14:29

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Reported.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 18/02/2026 14:30

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Shaming her is such a useful contribution to the thread....

Yes she shouldn't shit where shit eats but here we are....
I imagine she regrets it deeply and given the fucker is now terrorising her and shes probably not in a rush to repeat it.

Would you rather there was a traumatised or injured child because OP didnt want to inconvenience Sally in the school office for 5mins?

Op - Fuck being embrassed. you should tell the school its stalking and harassment. If they arent aware he could easily talk them into letting them pick your child up which even if he does nothing will be frightening for you.

I had tell my WORK my own father was harassing and stalking my and he ended up in a tussle woth security.
It was embarrassing at the time so I know how you feel but the shame is his not yours.
You just have to take a deep breath and do it

TellMeWhatToWear · 18/02/2026 14:31

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Luckily these days schools care about the safety of their students.

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:32

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It has nothing to do with the school, police yes but not school.

I’d be furious if my child’s teacher had to take time away from their actual role to deal with stuff like this.

Planesmistakenforstars · 18/02/2026 14:33

Make a log of everything he has done and report it to the police. He is stalking you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2026 14:34

Remember everyone, it’s about the OP.

Ended a relationship with a fellow school parent and he won't leave me be
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 18/02/2026 14:34

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:32

It has nothing to do with the school, police yes but not school.

I’d be furious if my child’s teacher had to take time away from their actual role to deal with stuff like this.

Edited

You'd be "furious" they took 60 secs to receive some information and that they were safe guarding a child? 😅

BlimeyOReillyO · 18/02/2026 14:35

Police

DarkFate · 18/02/2026 14:35

Police and make an application for a non-molestation order

Coffeetimes3 · 18/02/2026 14:36

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:32

It has nothing to do with the school, police yes but not school.

I’d be furious if my child’s teacher had to take time away from their actual role to deal with stuff like this.

Edited

Don't be so bloody stupid. First of all why would a teacher take time away from teaching to deal with it? Second, you'd be angry with your school if they didn't take safeguarding and safety seriously? Really?

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:39

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 18/02/2026 14:34

You'd be "furious" they took 60 secs to receive some information and that they were safe guarding a child? 😅

Edited

Why does a child need safeguarding?

The OP is receiving calls from an ex who also likes to make his presence felt. He’s a prick but there’s nothing to suggest he’s a danger to a child or likely to kidnap them as another poster.

Just change you number or tell him to fuck off or you’ll call the police.

ItsNotMeEither · 18/02/2026 14:40

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God you must be old! I’m 62 and as a child my mother had an issue with a stalker after one single date. Also, my father, her ex, who lived a 5 hour flight away would randomly turn up at the school (with gifts so he looked good) every few years too.

I’ve since been a teacher for 42 years. You really have no idea just how much we deal with, we just don’t advertise it.

Pricelessadvice · 18/02/2026 14:44

Please go to the police.

Coffeetimes3 · 18/02/2026 14:46

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:39

Why does a child need safeguarding?

The OP is receiving calls from an ex who also likes to make his presence felt. He’s a prick but there’s nothing to suggest he’s a danger to a child or likely to kidnap them as another poster.

Just change you number or tell him to fuck off or you’ll call the police.

You are on the wrong thread. If you know this little about stalking you shouldn't be on talking bollocks.

Go away and educate yourself.

MissSpindle · 18/02/2026 14:52

Involve the school and the police. That should have been done already tbh.

BlimeyOReillyO · 18/02/2026 14:52

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:39

Why does a child need safeguarding?

The OP is receiving calls from an ex who also likes to make his presence felt. He’s a prick but there’s nothing to suggest he’s a danger to a child or likely to kidnap them as another poster.

Just change you number or tell him to fuck off or you’ll call the police.

Nothing to suggest he’s dangerous??

He’s constantly contacting her through various means, turning up to see her……

This has been going on for months….. but he’s not dangerous according to you?

Perhaps if you were on the receiving end of it, you may feel differently?

How you can act like it’s a non issue is beyond me.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 18/02/2026 14:57

Police. I wouldn't communicate again with him in any way. I would let the police handle it. He is a cunt.

Doseofreality · 18/02/2026 14:58

BlimeyOReillyO · 18/02/2026 14:52

Nothing to suggest he’s dangerous??

He’s constantly contacting her through various means, turning up to see her……

This has been going on for months….. but he’s not dangerous according to you?

Perhaps if you were on the receiving end of it, you may feel differently?

How you can act like it’s a non issue is beyond me.

I said “danger to a child” in relation to the suggestion of involving the school.

Dery · 18/02/2026 14:59

Another here saying tell the police. Also, speak to the National Centre for Domestic Violence about a possible non-mol.

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