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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ended a relationship with a fellow school parent and he won't leave me be

110 replies

Savvythrifter · 18/02/2026 14:20

I was seeing a man I met through my child's school, he is the parent of somebody my child was friendly with. Long-term single man, no wife or girlfriend incase anybody is wondering. I need to make that clear.

It lasted 8 or 9 months and was ended (by me) in June of last year. It wasn't a nice 'relationship' as he started to show low level abusive tendencies which I'm sure would have escalated if I hadn't broke it off. (Jealousy, a pervasive insecurity and then a controlling nature came to light)

I'm not qualified to diagnose but do have some experience of personality disorders and he strongly fits the profile of somebody with covert narcissism.

He hasn't left me alone since despite me blocking him everywhere IE calls, texts and 3 social media platforms.

When he has managed to get through to me, despite being blocked, I have made it clear I don't want to have a relationship and will not be taking him back but I wish him well and said I had no animosity towards him.

I think my mistake was being too "nice" and polite I just really, really didn't/don't want trouble at the school.

He calls on a withheld number which I have no choice but to answer as I get calls from private numbers that I do have to take (my neurologist, child's paediatrician, school etc - all come up as private calls)

I have implemented a method whereby now, if I get a private call, I answer it and immediately mute my mic, wait to see if its his voice and if it is I then hang up.

In between all of that he is deliberately positioning himself near me at the school to force contact. Our children are in different year groups and as such use entrances on opposite ends of the street which access different playgrounds.

He has no reason to walk the stretch of the street to use 'my' gate at pick up and drop off, but does so anyway, even though it means him then having to go all of the way back to 'his'

A month or so ago he scared the crap out of me in the morning as whilst waiting for the school gates to open I turned around and he was stood directly behind me, clearly wanting to be seen.

He has also on other occasions waited on the corner along 'my' route to school, where he has no business being. My child's father has also spotted him lurking about on days he does the school run and reported back to me.

2 days before valentines day I got a text from somebody claiming to be his sister asking me to please unblock him. I didn't reply and blocked that number too.

He was calling me again this morning.

I am completely fed up and I'm starting to feel a bit scared by how he gives not one shit about the fact I don't want anything to do with him and is trying to force it regardless.

The thought of getting the school or police involved fills me with dread as the whole thing is frankly embarrassing, but I may have to now.

I'm not sure what I want from the thread be it advice or just to be able to get all of this out somewhere but if you've got this far thank you for reading 😕

OP posts:
Savvythrifter · 24/02/2026 18:27

Thanks all, Paladin have also told me to report him to the police so it's unanimous.

He did his 'using the wrong gate on purpose' routine yesterday morning. I saw him coming and turned the other way, he then sent his DD over to us in the playground whilst he stood there watching.

His DD then approached mine at dinner time and said "your mum has blocked my dad, can you ask her to unblock him so we can have a sleep over?"

I'm majorly pissed off that he's using the children as pawns and involving them in adults business.

More of the same today, him coming in to our playground this morning watching me. At dinner time his DD approached mine again, clearly coached by him, and asked if I'm going to unblock him.

My DD isn't aware there was a romantic relationship and only ever thought we were friends, she's a couple of years younger than his DD and thankfully naive to it.

This afternoon he appeared on my route to school. Thankfully DD's dad was doing pick up but the moron was expecting me as I always do Tuesday afternoons. He was definitely going to approach me away from the school.

I'm reporting him now. Involving my DD was the last straw.

OP posts:
Cordeliasdemonbabies · 24/02/2026 23:14

I think you need to tell the school about this and the children's interactions. Its a safeguarding concern for both of them.

Piknik · 24/02/2026 23:44

Agree that you need to inform the school as well now that he is using his child to manipulate the situation. Stalking by proxy using your own child is fucking low and seriously, unhinged.

Savvythrifter · 24/02/2026 23:58

It is isn't it?

His poor DD is being used as bait 😞

OP posts:
Strivingforcompetence · 25/02/2026 00:04

I know you’ve said it’s embarrassing but it’s time to tell the school, as well as the police. They need to keep his daughter away from yours. She isn’t in trouble, it isn’t her fault but she is doing his bidding so the school need to keep her away from yours, redirect her and also maybe consider if this needs social services involvement as he is clearly dangerous and involving his kid.

Good luck with the police, and what comes next. I hope with his previous conviction, the police take it seriously and act quickly.

NiftyBlueRobin · 25/02/2026 08:50

Just checking in to say I'm still thinking about you OP and hope you get a resolution to this very soon once the police are involved. What a bastard he is involving the children.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 27/02/2026 19:52

I hope something came of going to the police, @Savvythrifter This guy is unhinged.

scoobysnaxx · 16/03/2026 21:45

Are you okay OP?

Savvythrifter · 17/03/2026 08:36

I'm OK, thanks for checking in on me.

I did log it.

Things have improved considerably. He's no longer orbiting me at the school or coming in to DD's playground. He has started putting his DD in breakfast club which means I don't see him at all in the mornings now.

I did receive a text on my birthday last week saying "happy birthday, enjoy your day. From Jade and Joe (not their real names) from a number purporting to belong to his DD. I didn't respond.

Hopefully the weirdo has decided that he doesn't want to expose himself to any more rejection and stays away indefinitely.

Edit - I haven't had any more phonecalls either 🙂

OP posts:
scoobysnaxx · 17/03/2026 09:10

What a relief!
You did the right thing.
anything else and you call them straight back and log it x

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