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Original poster

My husband has left me

148 replies

Adviceseeker35 · 07/02/2026 05:31

Im sorry this could be long.

My husband came home from work Thursday barely speaking to me and was the same yesterday morning. He gets like this so I left him.

Got home from work and within minutes he said he couldn't handle this anymore and he was leaving me once he took our son swimming. I wouldn't let him do the swimming and told him to go. He said he doesn't feel loved and he dreads coming home to me and nothing has been right for years. He drove off and I found out from my brother in law where he went. I managed to speak to him on the phone later and he said were not worth trying to fix and he only supposes he loves me. He is coming home later.

I don't know what to do. One minute he's chatty and loving, and the next he's exploding at me saying he's leaving. This is not the first time he's stormed out. He really couldn't understand why I said I was upset.

OP posts:
mbonfield · 07/02/2026 07:26

Time to move on OP

pilates · 07/02/2026 07:31

You cannot continue like this. It’s not fair on you or your son.

moose17 · 07/02/2026 07:32

It probably another woman sorry to say.

PersephoneParlormaid · 07/02/2026 07:33

Stop allowing him to treat you this way. Have his stuff packed, ready to take with him. He doesn’t get to dictate your life.

The1990club · 07/02/2026 07:37

Oh my days. Surely being alone is better than being treated like this! YOU need to leave him!

SaturYAY · 07/02/2026 07:40

I'd be wishing mine HAD left, if he treated me like this OP.

Get his stuff packed.

Interestedinapathy · 07/02/2026 08:46

I reckon he’s picking a fight every time so he can use that time to see the OW. When he finally returns you are so busy bending over backwards to appease him he doesn’t have to explain himself as to where he’s been. He’s also building the narrative that when he finally goes it’s your fault. Editing to add some empathy - I’m sorry this is happening to you.

sickofsixseven · 07/02/2026 09:08

Sorry OP, but 100% this is another woman. Its "the script". Start doing some digging if you can and as others have said, get your ducks in a row.

nc43214321 · 07/02/2026 10:05

I know it’s easy to say but yeah I’d pack his bags and drop them off at his dad’s and not look back.

exhaustDAD · 07/02/2026 10:36

Going back and forth being snappy and short and then being lovey - that is unacceptable and frankly, disrespecting behaviour. Thinking he can treat you like a dirty dishcloth then acting like nothing happened is a line nobody should dare to cross. If he is yo-yoing between leaving and then staying, do him a favour and take one of the options out - Tell him to leave, and that he's welcome. Normally I would feel like communication is key, finding the root of why he's feeling unloved, but there are lines crossed that I feel negate that goodwill. If he just went to you, with an open heart and honesty, opening up about how he feels, yes, absolutely work on it, talk, communicate, but it feels like he was just simmering on this on his own, not trusting and loving you enough to want to solve it. So I don't think it's worth attempting the mature, grown-up route. If he is so damn unhappy, and was not willing to come to you about it with the love and care a spouse should have, then off you go. Wish you all the best for all your future ventures.

VickyTC · 07/02/2026 11:07

To me this sounds like ‘you must try harder’ or ‘do the pick me dance’. No and a thousand times no.

Original poster
Adviceseeker35 · 07/02/2026 12:10

He's came back. He said he can't try anymore. We're beyond fixing and he doesn't love me anymore. He said he needs time to process and he'll decide what will happen next. He's left again as I said I he feels like that he shouldn't be around me. Then he's claiming he's only going because its what I wanted. Says there's no one else. No idea where he's gone

OP posts:
TheThingOnTheIce · 07/02/2026 12:18

Oh ‘he’ll decide what happens next ‘ will he!
the fuck he will

MissMoneyFairy · 07/02/2026 12:18

What do YOU want, it's not just up to him, he says he doesn't love you so what's the point in staying with him and torturing yourself. He's blaming you, he always will, he's trying to guilt trip you, don't let him anymore., don't bother trying to find out where he is, he'll get in touch when he wants something.,

rainbowstardrops · 07/02/2026 12:18

Don’t give a shit where he’s gone, the important thing is that he has. Let’s hope stays gone because you deserve better than that.

Meteorite87 · 07/02/2026 12:21

TheThingOnTheIce · 07/02/2026 12:18

Oh ‘he’ll decide what happens next ‘ will he!
the fuck he will

He is evidently an AH who expects everything to be on his terms.

Time to start thinking about what will be best for you and your DS, without the husband in the picture @Adviceseeker35

youlied · 07/02/2026 12:22

Definitely sounds like another woman, my ExH behaved exactly like this when he began his affair

brightpinkchoc · 07/02/2026 12:23

I believe this pattern is when they are getting up the courage to leave. They do it in stages - start then back down. They work up to it as they are afraid to be honest .

DiscoDuck40 · 07/02/2026 12:26

My ex used to keep storming out in tantrums if he felt he wasn't getting enough attention so I do sympathise. Sorry if you already said, do you work, OP? Could you afford the bills on your own? Do you own your home?

Sparkletastic · 07/02/2026 12:29

Can you and DS go out and do something nice today? Or go and be with friends / family if you have people you can lean on?

crazeekat · 07/02/2026 12:36

He is emotionally abusive. He knows exactly what he is doing. Get him out your home
permanently. Find your self worth and keep him out.

Randomuser2026 · 07/02/2026 12:36

Adviceseeker35 · 07/02/2026 12:10

He's came back. He said he can't try anymore. We're beyond fixing and he doesn't love me anymore. He said he needs time to process and he'll decide what will happen next. He's left again as I said I he feels like that he shouldn't be around me. Then he's claiming he's only going because its what I wanted. Says there's no one else. No idea where he's gone

OP, you need to get into “Fuck Him” mode as fast as possible.

1.He said he needs time to process and he'll decide what will happen next. Fuck him, you will be deciding what happens next, and that is going straight to divorce with his shit packed up and at his Dad’s. My strongest advice is don’t ask him to leave - put him out

2.Then he's claiming he's only going because it’s what I wanted. Fuck him and his gas lighting twisty bullshit. He knows exactly what he wants, will be doing it and trying to make sure that you take the blame. The answer is “whatever, no one cares.”

3.Says there's no one else. Fuck Him and his lies. There is, and she is welcome to double up on the skank. Get in the fucking bin.

Original poster
Adviceseeker35 · 07/02/2026 12:45

I made the mistake òf ringing to make sure he got somewhere safe. He's fine and off to a family event.

I do work but I don't think I could manage the bills alone. I'd probably have to leave a job a love for more money. We'd need a smaller house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Adviceseeker35 · 07/02/2026 12:45

I made the mistake òf ringing to make sure he got somewhere safe. He's fine and off to a family event.

I do work but I don't think I could manage the bills alone. I'd probably have to leave a job a love for more money. We'd need a smaller house.

OP posts:
TequilaNights · 07/02/2026 12:48

Textbook script, sorry op