Husband walked out of his job issue

[Flowers76]

We are both 55..My husband has walked out of his job , as they have given him a report saying due to his attitude and adruptness with his words and lack of completing certain jobs correctly they haven given him a warning. If it does continue then it will be a displinary matter..
Well basically he told them where go go ! Literally..

He had this so many times before with previous jobs.i was really hoping this was different as nearly been it it a year.
And yes he does have issues with his attitude, hes the type of bloke that thinks its everyone elses issue..not his..
Weve just sorted our selves out finacially as well, im so mad...
Becouse weve been here before im getting tired of it now..so now again pressures on me to pay all the bills...i cant support him orveven speak to him as so mad , am i wrong ? Ive stuck at jobs in past that reduced me to tears but never walked until i had another job lined up..i would never walk as got bills to pay...just feel like getting to old for all this crap..

Leave him

Why are you married to an arsehole with such a major attitude problem? Just leave the stupid fucker = problem solved for you.

Time for a dose of his own medicine - you walk, because you don't like how he is speaking (or not!!) to you. I mean, if he thinks he's being reasonable in walking out, so are you. (He won't see it that way, of course - he'll still play the victim.)

Sorry OP but he’s 55 having the same sad little work spats as kids in their 20s who think they know best. In logistics and warehouse work? I assume he’s not senior at all.

just remind him repeatedly he can’t afford any leisure activities or anything until he’s working.

Flowers76
He's a bolter because he knows you'll pick up the slack
Also,
He's in need of some serious anger management coping strategies if bolting is always his answer
And,
Short of him owning the company there's always going to be criticism from somewhere
The poor love.........

Why are you in this relationship? I ask seriously - what good does it bring into your life? Is it worth all this stress and pressure and disrespect?

Are you renting privately, OP, or is it social housing? Any kids still at home?

It doesn't sound as though you have a ton of savings, so the housing situation will influence your options. I'm going to agree with everyone else, though. His is a pattern of behaviour / character flaw that won't change now. I'm assuming he can't take 'negative feedback' at home, either, so you must be living under the thumb to keep the peace.

There's a better way to live and you're running out of time to live it 🌈⛅🏃‍♀️

I’m not sure the warning was a second chance so much as they are following procedure to legally get rid of him.

Aside from that, some people have a low tolerance for assholes at work, injustices and sometimes they are neurodivergent and misunderstood

but yes it’s best to keep job until you find another . Unfortunately there are assholes everywhere

He sounds depressed.
Some people need to get away from situations that they feel take their dignity .
Others suffer but stick it out til something new ( you)
Some have a thick skin.
Id be inclined to believe him and support him in getting a new job. That will benefit you too and the relationship
is he a good person and partner ? Do you love each other ?
you know him better than any asshole atwork.

Developing a thicker skin though and working a bit on emotional intelligence might help him. It can be easily leaned

Sometimes partners run out of bandwidth to keep rescuing their thin skinned partner who can’t collaborate.

You can love someone and think they’re a good person, and also realise you no longer have the emotional or financial resources to carry them though life, always being the responsible adult who is capable of thinking about consequences.

If by 55 you haven’t learned anything about emotional resilience, and respond to any whiff of feedback or criticism with rage and defensiveness, and always feel you can do no wrong and someone else is the problem (including your wife who’s patiently supported you through all the other jobs you’ve quit)… you’re not gonna learn.

Great. We've already had the poor man, he's just surrounded by arseholes, he's probably ND so can't help being an arrogant, unemployable twat, and the poor love's depressed. Awaiting early dementia in 3 .. 2 ... 1 ...

None of these are reasons for a hard-working woman to carry him and his dependency. Repeatedly. Thanklessly. Into retirement and beyond.

Forget about him for the moment and think about you. Life for you can’t be great with such a selfish partner. You are getting to the age that in no time at all you will be considering retirement and perhaps have even started making some plans. How do you see your future? I am sorry to say but your hubby sounds like a petulant loser who lacks backbone and is going to be a serious drain on your resources; do you want him to be a leach? You sound like you are working very hard whilst he is having a little fairy fit in bed. Time to move on and as others have said not all men are spongers. You’ve got lots of happy years ahead with the right guy, no need for a millstone around your neck. The likelihood in the current economic climate of your current husband finding a new job that he will stick at is pretty slim; I know references are not always called these days and they tend to have a positive spin but I’m guessing he would not come across too well at interview. Good luck and hoping you have some supportive close family or friends that you can turn to for support.

I think some posters believe we ought to keep men like pets, just for decoration and the pleasure of their (sulky, grumpy, ranty, solipsistic) company.

And that to expect a life partner to help shoulder at least some of the burden of basic adult responsibilities (whether that’s earning money or general housekeeping or admin or caregiving or emotional labour or just doing some of the thinking and planning and decision-making) is somehow discriminatory.

100% this

I’d sit him down and say just so you know im considering divorce so I can never again sit through my husband deciding to quit a job because he can’t acknowledge he has a shit attitude. At least then I can plan for the future. So I’ll be seeing a lawyer next week, I haven’t made you any dinner.

It sounds like both of you are struggling.
If you don't have children that are still dependent on you, it may be time to start planning your exit. I would be inclined to support him to find another job once the initial shock is over as this will make it easier for both of you. Not sure if you will be liable for maintenance if he is out of work if you decide to file for divorce - worth looking into.

OP, he won't change and eventually the jobs will dry up.
He is dragging you into inevitable poverty as you age.
Get out while you can and put some money aside for your retirement.
You're screwed otherwise.

Get out now, do not entertain him any more, I thought at first he was arrogant, now I think he is pathetic.

Look after yourself, are you both on the tenancy? Tell him he must take any job. If you must, go to the jobcentre, and make a joint claim for UC, although it may be considered you earn too much, I only say that because I dont know what you earn. They will make him look for work. You cannot let him drag you down. He needs to grow up, not whine, or whinge, and not expect you to support him.

He needs telling, and if he does not change, only you can decide if you want to live that life.

He say's you're not supporting him?
I'd be showing him what not being supported feels like, leave him, high & dry with no ££ coming in.

Sounds like an absolute man baby. Can’t take feedback, strops off, needs mummy (you) to support him. Gross. Leave him

Husbands are like Governments. We get the ones we choose.

That's the sort of thing you heard someone say when you were young, and it sounded very smart. Fact is, it's Smart-Alec. Meaningless drivel.

Leaving the strong whiff of victim-blaming out of it, governments only last five years. We marry, ostensibly, for life. To the conscientious spouse, ending the contract is a serious matter requiring strong grounds.

OP, he's broken his contract with you many times. He isn't there for you, he doesn't honour or cherish you, he is irresponsible, your marriage is not 'joint' or equal. Vote him out.

Life is wonderful without some man bringing you down.

No I'm not the husband I can't believe how much yous all tore into him no one has a good thing to say about him how would you like everyone ganging up on you give him a break like I said some employers are hitlers.

@ByKeenTaupeDreamer is this a serious comment? I think you have probably skim read the OP post. This is a repeated pattern of behaviour. Tough if your employer is not to your liking, that’s just life. If things are bad you go to HR, they help you move forward. At the age of 55 you don’t throw your toys out of the pram before you are certain you have another secure job to go to.