Thread 2: Court and general updates follow ex partner breaching court order

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

Thread 2 :)

I don't get it? The order lets you both have a 2 week period in the summer so take it? 2 weeks him, 2 weeks you, then back to week on week off?

@DontGoChasinWaterfalls

Would he agree to start the holiday on his week then 'shift' the calendar so the week after the holiday is yours? That way it'd only be 2 weeks 'absence'. You could agree to do the same 'shift' back when you take your 2 weeks.

His holiday time would be:
His (week 1 holiday)
Week 2 holiday (would have been yours)
Yours "new schedule"
His
Etc

Just be sure you look at the overall year to be sure it doesn't mess up a time when you really want her with you (Xmas, etc).

If she would love it... Then its not just for your benefit. Its for hers.

Look at what he put her through by refusing to return her.

Sorry in no way intended as a criticism of you - just feel that he's pushing again.

She’d love it re two weeks with you- that makes it for her benefit. Say you won’t agree unless you get the following two weeks. He would never agree for you.

Changing to he has 2 weeks and then you have 2 weeks in the summer makes so much sense and a very practical suggestion that keeps the weekly pattern correct after that.

Otherwise I can’t see how he won’t end up with 3 weeks, which is a long time for her to be without her mum given everything that has happened.

So
Your week
his week
your week but with him
his week but with you
your week

back to the usual pattern.

I agree with other posters that it makes more sense for you to both have 2 weeks back to back. Makes it fair & less confusing for DD. Just unfortunate that you can’t get your 2 weeks in first to ensure he sticks to the agreement.

Yes I was confused too. Unless OP is proposing they change weeks after the holiday then it would be a 3 week break. My ex and I had this every summer for years to be honest. It was just easier to keep the schedule.

I'm not keen to distort the schedule as I've made plans for the remainder of the year for us so if the schedule moves I have to move all of our plans

Just tell him its too late to make changes in the schedule. You need three ir six months notice for such a big change. He will never return any favor you do him so don’t ever bother accommodating him.

That makes sense.

Then don’t break it.. tell him he can have to weeks together but he needs to stick to the 7/7 schedule of those weeks, then you take 2 weeks in return.

if he doesn’t like it he can’t take it to court. There are literally thousands of parents that make a 7/7 schedule like this, and if he did go to court they would understand your desire for stability and routine given they pointed out the impact to her last time. And here his straight away seeking variation with no proposal for how the time remains balanced.

or you could ask him that - what is his proposal for balancing the time given he wants to break the 7/7 routine.

It won't distort the schedule.

It would have been his yours his yours his yours.

If you ask for the two weeks following his it will now be his his yours yours his yours. So back on the usual schedule after the four weeks where you each get two consecutive weeks.

It does make a lot of sense since this way you can each plan a two week holiday if wanted and perhaps you should look at formalising this arrangement for the summer and following summers.

I think we can trust that OP knows what she’s doing - she’s very thoughtful and will have her reasons for all her choices

sending love OP - I wish I’d had a mum like you 🥰

How’s things @DontGoChasinWaterfalls

Hope everything is okay @DontGoChasinWaterfallsim sure I speak for lots of us when I see we’ve been thinking of you & hoping things have settled!

Oh OP you are so strong and steady here and it sounds like that is just what your DD needs. You're an amazing mum. ❤️

It is sad the 7/7 is remaining but at least you have the main residence like a lives with order. That's good.

I agree with you about the 2 week summer request. That's very purposeful of him. Let him take it to court if he sees fit and state your case calmly again and with he focus on your child like you have been doing.

Can you remind me how old your DD is??
I bet you are counting down the days until she can make her own choices. Poor wee thing.

Sorry, I don't understand about the summer holidays. If it's the beginning of your week then on to his, does that not mean he has her before what should be your week making it 3 weeks with her?

Cancel the cheque.

@DontGoChasinWaterfalls you don’t have to move anything . He is starting his games already . I am sure your dd would like some time at home before off on another holiday .
Maybe he need to think about this . Jeeze the man never stops thinking about himself or ways to mess up your plans.

Did you reach an agreement?

Where did you land OP?