1 year in and he said he thought I was "easy"

[FoamBathPink]

Been together a year now, and it is getting quite serious.

We were reminiscing about the early days of our relationship and he said that he thought I was "easy" given we had slept together early on, and it'd taken time for him to realise that actually he really cares for me deeply. I obviously don't mind if it took a while to catch feels but I didn't like that he had thought this about me. He's never said anything like this before.

We'd met on the apps and chatted for a couple of weeks then gone for drinks / meal, and then gone our separate ways with a hug at the end. Couldn't meet the following week because my friend's mum had just passed away and I needed to see her. He cancelled our next date (also midweek) because he was ill. The next time we met he'd invited me to go to his for him to cook me a meal. That was when we first slept together. We'd been texting and chatting in between the whole time.

So we didn't do that "sleep together on the third date" thing which seems to be very much expected as it was only the second time we had met in person.

I don't know why what he'd said bothers me so much; maybe because I'd been through a "dry spell" of 18 months prior to meeting him. He's slept with more people than me, too.

Then when I think about it too hard I am annoyed because thinking about "bodycounts" etc. seems so ridiculous (and sexist) when we are both 40!

He is not from the UK and does have some funny attitudes towards women, his home country is conservative and Christian. He's been here 20 yrs but sometimes he says things that are really old-fashioned. Essentially I feel that he has shut shamed me.

I am not sure if I want to continue with someone who thinks I am (or was) "easy". Or maybe it was just clumsily worded and I need to move on.

Tia x

Tell him you thought he was easy too.

Do you really want a relationship with a sexist man?

Sounds like old fashioned double standards.
I'm not surprised you are upset.
Apart from anything else it makes it sound as though he thinks he is doing you a favour by telling you he now has feelings for you DESPITE thinking you were easy. As though you should be grateful to him.

Surely he was "easy" too though?

This.

weird double standards.

Can you put up with that?

Hmmm. Worth being very careful about this. Long term if marriage and children are on the cards are other “old fashioned” views going to emerge?

What about his family? What are their attitudes like?

You don’t just marry the man, you get his family too.

I’d be sitting down with him and talking this out, and trying to examine his other views about sex and women.

Overall though, it doesn’t bode well.

Prick.

i cannot bear mean who judge women for sleeping with them “too early”, when by definition the man is doing the same thing.

I wouldn’t throw it away over a comment but I would be annoyed and upset just like you. In a few days you will get over it and hopefully laugh it off

How lovely to hear someone you are invested in judged you and thought u were easy, when by thinking u were easy he was also easy 🤷‍♀️

Sadly u fell for the "come over for a meal" spin (your choice of course) but usually that only leads to one place. You were brave going to a strangers house its very intimate I certainly would not have done so.

Doesnt make his judgement of you right or fair tho. It would totally put me off him. Surely u feel that too?

You were easy and he was what?? I
Couldn't be with a man who held these attitudes about sexual behaviour. Absolutely not.

But…HE also slept with YOU on the second date…so 🤔 Surely if this makes you ‘easy’ (ffs what even is this in 2026?? 🤬) then he is also easy!

Remind him of his double standards, by calling him a misogynistic slutty man whore OP 👌🏻

(He’s a prick!)

It’s bad enough that he pathetically judged you, despite him doing exactly what you did himself, but why would he tell you?? Has he not got any sense or empathy? What a tactless, sexist idiot. I would find that a bit of a turn off.

Seriously?? He basically called her a slut!! 🤬

Why on earth did he feel the need to tell you this?!

This

Tell him he's a sexist pig and that you need a break from your relationship to work out how you feel about him.

IF he redeems himself by apologising and telling you he knows he's wrong and that he will change his attitude, consider takin him back. BUT don't tell him he has to do that. Let him work it out for himself. If he can't see that, he's not worth having.

Fucking rude.
He was also easy.
I slept with DH on first meetand if he ever said anything like that he would be in a dog house

I had a boyfriend who said this about me too. As it happened I quite enjoyed being easy with him so kept it up a bit until I got bored/ no longer fancied him. I was always aware for this and other reasons that he'd never be a long term boyfriend or anything more. In hindsight he was a massive prick. You live and learn.

He was brought up with old fashioned views and he still holds to some of them Op. Before you consider going on with this I'd want a big talk about his views on other things, you don't want any other nasty surprizes later on

He'll only get worse. Bin.

If he thinks sex in the second date makes someone 'easy' then I guess he is an 'easy' guy.

You are already having doubts and you are only one year in- this is meant to be the fun bit.

Also, what other old fashioned views does he have? Does he want kids? Would he be a hands on dad or is that ‘woman’s work?’ What about finance/money sharing/property.

Slut shaming is never cool. I would tell him how unhappy his comment has made you, and if he's not prepared to accept that he's a sexist prick, then walk away.

I think people are over analysing this. If this has been the only red flag in the 12 months.. would you throw away that for a thought he had 12 months ago?

If I had standards, yes.

He is not from the UK and does have some funny attitudes towards women, his home country is conservative and Christian. He's been here 20 yrs but sometimes he says things that are really old-fashioned. Essentially I feel that he has shut shamed me.

By 'funny attitudes towards women' and 'he says things that are really old-fashioned', do you mean he's a misogynist?

Because if you do, that'd be the reason I'd be dumping him.