I cant cope with this life anymore

[Neverends1]

How do others cope when power balance exists in your relationship? Im educated but not in a high paying job. Im from a family with little money and had a basic upbringing.

DP is the opposite and Is from a family with money. He has hundreds of thousands in savings and I get by but have debt from my car loan etc. He pays the rent and I pay the bills. The rent is more expensive but for context, his hourly wage is 4x what mine is. I work a lot more hours than him. Yet he refuses to help with anything in the house.

The issue is that he is very belittling. I literally can not ask him to help with anything im the house. If I do, he reminds me that he pays the rent. I am constantly told 'it's not your house' or 'i have more qualifications than you. I did not get into a relationship with someone 18 years younger for you to tell me what to do'. Today I am wfh at my desk in the bedroom. Each day he kicks me out of there so he can do 1 hour of work. Which means packing up all my things and then going back an hour later. He could work anywhere but refuses, stating 'it is my house. You go and get your own house'. He has this overwhelming power over me and I feel like im drowning in life. I am constantly on eggshells and I literally jump and get palpitations everytime he enters a room. I am constantly being put in my place and reminded I am lesser than him. He will spend his day in bed and refuses to help on the basis he has a better job than me.

This is not a partnership. It's not a relationship in any sense, really. I think you know you have to leave.

marry the bastard then divorce him and take half....

@Neverends1 please leave.

Do you feel safe? If so, you could give him one chance to improve.

It seems like there is nothing to save, from what you say he treats you with such disdain.

You don’t cope, you leave OP. Please, find a way to leave him and build a better life for yourself. This isn’t it

You are in an abusive relationship. You need to start planning to leave for the sake of you and your children. Women's Aid is a good starting point. Please call them.

Are you married to this man?.

Are there any children?

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser. You are being verbally and financially abused here by him. The age gap is deliberate too; he targeted you because you are much younger than he. Many women his age would have told him to get lost a long time ago.

I would contact Womens aid and get their support on how to leave safely.

Blimey op, why are you putting up with this shit? Raise your bar, you are worth so much more. Get the hell out of there, this man is abusive.

Also, your "D" P sounds like an absolute dick. You can do better.

And do not marry this man either. You need to get far away from him asap.

He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t treat you well. Why are you in a relationship with him?

Turn the tables on him, the next time he tells you it’s his house then say OK then, pack your stuff and leave.

Go and stay with family or friends until you can rent somewhere or find a cheap air B&B for a few weeks.

if you get anxious when your “partner” walks in the room you need to leave.

Your in an abusive relationship op that's very clear. You need to find your worth and LTB. You don't deserve to have to live like this

you will regret staying in this relationship. You will do better on your own when you can spread your wings. Only then you’ll realise looking back how wrong this relationship is.

Find a houseshare; rent a room; leave by 31 Jan

LTB OP .....

That's not a power imbalance, that's abuse.

You know you need to get out. Start making a plan.

No one could cope with this.
Wave your abuser goodbye. Pronto.

OMG no, just walk away if you can. Your partner is supposed to make you feel loved, cherished and respected. It seems that you feel belittled, financially stressed, insecure and probably walking on eggshells.
Im so sorry you’re going through this. Be under no illusions, this will not get better. Go get the life you deserve! 💐

There's obviously a lot more to it, as there always is. Yes we have children and he happily tells them its not mummy's house. Although its not his either as we rent.
My youngest DC has told me that daddy said hes going to buy a big house for them to live in but not mummy, she's not coming and can live on her own.

I dont know why he hates me so much. I do everything. Ive tried to be everything but im not good enough. He has said there should be a head of the household, I.e. him. Also that he is the man so he should dictate dinner times, where we go etc. Ive obviously been called every name possible too but it is what it is.

Leave him and take the children with you. Can you go to a family member's house whilst you look for a suitable house to rent? You need to get away from this abusive prick.

Why is he renting when he could so easily buy a property?

Not only is he abusing you he’s abusing your children too. It’s emotional/psychological abuse and parent alienation where he is making you appear to be a bad parent to the children. Get out asap for the sake of your kids especially

He tells my children im crazy and have anger issues. So every thing is my fault, even if its a situation that is nothing to do with me.
Ive nowhere to go. My family are miles away and thr children are in school. One in the middle of GCSEs.

I feel so uncomfortable in my own home. Its like hes a god that has to be obeyed. As soon a I (gently) raise an issue, he looses it and reminds me how beneath him I am. Im not sure why hes with me if he thinks he can do better.

This is emotional and financial abuse.

It is abuse and he will not change. Read It’s not you by Dr Ramani and watch her YouTube videos. Grey rock him until you are in a position to leave. Start making plans now to leave as soon as the GCSEs are done. Good luck. Life will get better when you are out. In the meantime, stop expecting anything from him and start planning the rest of your life.

Crikey! You do not cope, you make plans to leave. This children will soon have scant regard for you, if this is how you're being treated. And their father is training then to have no respect for you either.

Everything is a threat, I feel like my whole life is blackmail. Im conditioned to be silent and not ask for anything or expect anything. Im scared of leaving and concerned he'll try to take the children. Despite the fact he is lazy.

Leave