Page 4 | Men asking to borrow money

Friendlygingercat · 15/12/2025 14:05

Well I knew something was wrong because we went to a pub first and bought a round each. So he had money on him in the pub. When I referred to this he said it was "pocket change". So I told him not to worry about my bill as I would sort it. I told the waiter that my friend seems to have mislaid his wallet. The waiter grinned and wrote me a bill which I paid with a good tip. As I collected my coat and passed the table I told the guy that he needed to make his own arrangements and maybe he would find some more "pocket change". That was when he called me a bitch. Obviously I dont know what happend as I never saw him again.

Flowerslamp · 15/12/2025 14:09

I don't know if it's me, the people I mix with, something, but I've never been asked to lend money in my 55 years, and outside of my parents when I as a teen, (and a mortgage) I've never asked anyone commend me any.

I don't think I'd really care if he had a good reason, I wouldn't be lending him anything and I probably wouldn't be seeing him again.

Letsgodancing · 15/12/2025 14:47

There seems to be a lot of men out there who literally only plan is to live of a woman. And they will use any excuse they can find to make you feel bad or guilty or somehow it's your problem to fix. I've seen some recent examples of this in real life and it's crazy how they are perfectly able men more than capable of holding down a full time job but would rather scrounge of the women they are with or dating at the time.
And women sometimes want to be seen as 'paying their way' so not be labeled a gold digger or user but I think we're seeing more and more now that some men are the real diggers, they will take every resource they can from you given the chance. And those resources where that be money, your living situation or just your physical or emotional labour to help them deal through there issues.
Throw this man back out there, he will find someone else who will give him the money

Original poster

Lostmycats · 15/12/2025 16:11

Friendlygingercat · 15/12/2025 14:05

Well I knew something was wrong because we went to a pub first and bought a round each. So he had money on him in the pub. When I referred to this he said it was "pocket change". So I told him not to worry about my bill as I would sort it. I told the waiter that my friend seems to have mislaid his wallet. The waiter grinned and wrote me a bill which I paid with a good tip. As I collected my coat and passed the table I told the guy that he needed to make his own arrangements and maybe he would find some more "pocket change". That was when he called me a bitch. Obviously I dont know what happend as I never saw him again.

This is fantastic!

OP posts:

Original poster

Lostmycats · 15/12/2025 16:13

Thanks all, I definitely will not be trying to get it back, I will not be speaking to or thinking about this man again

OP posts:

Beachtastic · 15/12/2025 16:35

Lostmycats · 15/12/2025 05:27

Thanks all, definitely lessons learnt and yes, I do need to work on my self esteem!

Don't feel bad OP, I wasted 6 years on a shitty loser like this!

outerspacepotato · 15/12/2025 16:43

Lostmycats · 14/12/2025 14:11

After a second date?

is there ever a genuine reason for a man to ask to borrow money from you when you’ve only met twice?

No. And it's a sign to never see them again.

It's that simple.

Sodthesystem · 15/12/2025 16:52

No man should be asking a woman for money, ever. Loser territory.

But then, same for men who want women to go 50/50 on dates. Women have just got so lax accepting sub par men.

Marylou2 · 15/12/2025 17:06

What the heck? Only excuse would be cash only parking. Pretty sure DH and I had to root through both lots of pockets/purses to find the right change on an early date. He was mortified! That was almost 30 years ago. Bin this one off OP.

PineConeOrDogPoo · 16/12/2025 19:41

Awful. Would never entertain this.

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 16/12/2025 19:50

Coke !!!! No get shut

CalzoneOnLegs · 16/12/2025 20:23

@Friendlygingercat that is horrible, what a nasty piece of work, but great you didn’t pay for it.

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 20:34

@Mammyloveswine I wouldn't let a man pay a bill who had just been made redundant. But then I wouldn't let a man pay the bill full full stop. Each to their own.

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 20:36

@Sodthesystem I'm a woman and think a woman who expects a man to pick up the bill on a date is a freeloader.

TwistedWonder · 16/12/2025 21:07

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 20:36

@Sodthesystem I'm a woman and think a woman who expects a man to pick up the bill on a date is a freeloader.

Agree. If a man insists on paying and refuses an offer to split then that’s a nice gesture. But women who sit on their hands and expect a man to pay - no that’s just entitled and grabby.

That’s why I never do dinner as a first date - it always gets awkward when the bill comes out. I’d rather go for drinks - and I will always make sure I buy a round

Sodthesystem · 16/12/2025 21:50

TwistedWonder · 16/12/2025 21:07

Agree. If a man insists on paying and refuses an offer to split then that’s a nice gesture. But women who sit on their hands and expect a man to pay - no that’s just entitled and grabby.

That’s why I never do dinner as a first date - it always gets awkward when the bill comes out. I’d rather go for drinks - and I will always make sure I buy a round

Show quote history

Of course it's wise to go on a cheaper first date. And in general until you are aware of what is affordable for him. And it would be so rude to not even offer to split.

BUT honestly, would I see him again if he let me?
No.

Men who like you, pay on the dates.

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 21:51

@Sodthesystem Men who don't see you as an equal pay on dates. Why would you let them? What is "affordable" for you?

Sodthesystem · 16/12/2025 21:56

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 21:51

@Sodthesystem Men who don't see you as an equal pay on dates. Why would you let them? What is "affordable" for you?

Edited

The biggest con of patriarchy to use feminism to claim women should pay equal share because of it. Whilst still being exploited in other forms.

When women are paid equal, I'll pay equal in dating.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 16/12/2025 21:56

Oh dear me no. Bin.

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 21:59

@Sodthesystem Should I pay more than my husband when we go out then?!! I out-earn him you see.
Men will continue to exploit if you allow them to "buy" you.

Sodthesystem · 16/12/2025 22:06

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 21:59

@Sodthesystem Should I pay more than my husband when we go out then?!! I out-earn him you see.
Men will continue to exploit if you allow them to "buy" you.

Men who want to exploit women find a way to do it regardless if she picks up the tab or not. If he turns out to be a creep, he'll be one whether or not he paid for coffee.

I don't agree with the 'minimising risk so that he won't think I owe him' approach to dating. Frankly if he turns out to be creep then I'm glad I'm also not out of pocket after the date.

Your husband is your partner. Provide you keep your own bank accounts for safety purposes I don't see why you wouldn't each pay what you can afford into a household joint account if you both earn good money.

But dating is about the man showing he CAN be financially relied upon. If you were to marry a man and become a mother you need to know he is a solid provider incase you cannot return to work or, do not wish to.

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 22:11

@Sodthesystem My husband and I share a young child - I never wanted l, nor would ever choose to, give up my career and become dependent on anyone. I have never needed to financially rely on anyone just because I am a woman.
Neither of us earn "good" money but it is absolutely an equal partnership.
Why would you want someone to pay for you from the very off?!

Sodthesystem · 16/12/2025 22:15

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 22:11

@Sodthesystem My husband and I share a young child - I never wanted l, nor would ever choose to, give up my career and become dependent on anyone. I have never needed to financially rely on anyone just because I am a woman.
Neither of us earn "good" money but it is absolutely an equal partnership.
Why would you want someone to pay for you from the very off?!

And that's absolutely valid. But what if you'd been injured by the birth in a way whereby you couldn't work again?

Anyway, well go round and circles forever and hyjack the thread so probably best to just agree to disagree.

TwistedWonder · 16/12/2025 22:19

Sodthesystem · 16/12/2025 21:50

Of course it's wise to go on a cheaper first date. And in general until you are aware of what is affordable for him. And it would be so rude to not even offer to split.

BUT honestly, would I see him again if he let me?
No.

Men who like you, pay on the dates.

Show quote history

It’s nothing to do with ‘cheaper’ dates. It’s about what I prefer and I can’t think of anything worse more boring than being stuck over dinner with a man I know within minutes im not feeling it.

And I don’t care how much a man likes me, I won’t sit in my hands expecting him to pay. If a man genuinely likes me, he respects that I am someone who isn’t a taker.

Im pushing 60 - the whole ‘have penis should pay’ attitude was outdated even in my youth.

Ive never had a man exploit me, take from me or not treat me as the equal that I am. This whole if a man doesn’t pay for what a virtual stranger puts in her mouth, means he’ll be a useless partner is just an excuse trotted out to justify being a freeloader imo

Though none of this is relevant to the thread as he was obviously a scrounging twat

Mrsnothingthanks · 16/12/2025 22:26

@TwistedWonder Totally agree. I'm also older and wiser at 45 and I am absolutely delighted that my husband has seen me as an equal since our very first date. He is also an exceptional father.