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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you sleep with a 23 year old?

115 replies

aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 22:53

I have great chemistry with him. He’s so bloody attractive. Masculine yet calm within it. Not a show off. But naturally a real ‘I’ve got it handled’ type.

I am 28 and it feels a bit… wrong? I don’t know. I just feel like I’m taking advantage

We are very flirtatious and I see him saying yes if I asked. When we talk, I feel like I’m 16 again. So much banter and easy back and forth.

I would love to get to know him more but just sex is the most sensible thing here. Our life stages are too different to become invested or let myself imagine he’d want me as a long term parent. I am very attractive. But that’s all. My life is a bloody mess but I’ve made the best of it and have calm and clarity now I am separated from an emotionally manipulative and boring arse.

I am newly divorced. Got married at 20. 2 children. Been through awful bereavements etc. Life experience very old for my own years, let alone a 23 year old to have much in common with me genuinely

He lives with his mum still. Doesn’t turn me off - not in this economy! But he doesn’t have any real world experience really. He has lived a life a 23 year old in 2025 should live. Life has yet to be unkind to him or throw any major curveballs that generally comes with age, marriage, kids, child loss etc

Please someone tell me it’s fine?

OP posts:
aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 22:54

That should say long term partner! Not parent ffs

OP posts:
JanetareyouokareyouokJanet · 12/12/2025 22:55

Crack on! Just don’t catch feelings. Could be a good laugh.

youalright · 12/12/2025 22:58

I think at 28 your fine I thought you where gonna say you was 35+ then I would of had a different reaction

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 12/12/2025 23:00

All in all it sounds like a bad idea for you both.

one of you will get 'the feels' and you're in very different life stages. Don't wreck either of your lives for a bit of fun.

55, speaking from experience, more ths. Once thinking FWB would be good.

floppybit · 12/12/2025 23:01

I thought you were going to say you were 50 but you’re only 28 so crack on! Just be very careful not to fall in love with him and get your heart broken.

WeAreNotOk · 12/12/2025 23:01

OP, that age gap is nothing. You obviously feel older due to your life experiences It's fine, go for it and have fun.

Imisscoffee2021 · 12/12/2025 23:02

That age gap is totally fine

Daytimenighttime · 12/12/2025 23:03

If your life is a mess perhaps you might be better trying to sort it out before jumping into bed with this guy. It's hardly going to solve anything and may cause further complications.

Especially as you quite rightly have reservations about it anyway.

BuntyBeaufort · 12/12/2025 23:04

Why on earth not?!
Maybe I’m just dumb but I don’t understand what feels wrong.
When I was 29 I slept with a 21 year old, who was SO hot. No qualms, no reason for any. No strings or expectations.
We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary earlier this year….

LifeSurvior · 12/12/2025 23:04

It's only five years really but those five years are pretty big in your case because of your two children and married /divorced.
If he's single though go for it, he sounds lovely, just be mindful his parents/mates might be a bit judgy.
I wouldn't want my son getting serious with a divorced mum of two at 23🫣

aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 23:05

WeAreNotOk · 12/12/2025 23:01

OP, that age gap is nothing. You obviously feel older due to your life experiences It's fine, go for it and have fun.

Thank you. 90% of the time it’s all care free chit chat and me being a bit blushing lashes

The other 10% of the time, a voice in the back of my head says ‘this is wrong, surely. He’s so young’

OP posts:
aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 23:05

LifeSurvior · 12/12/2025 23:04

It's only five years really but those five years are pretty big in your case because of your two children and married /divorced.
If he's single though go for it, he sounds lovely, just be mindful his parents/mates might be a bit judgy.
I wouldn't want my son getting serious with a divorced mum of two at 23🫣

I wouldn’t have thought they’d have found out

OP posts:
aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 23:06

Daytimenighttime · 12/12/2025 23:03

If your life is a mess perhaps you might be better trying to sort it out before jumping into bed with this guy. It's hardly going to solve anything and may cause further complications.

Especially as you quite rightly have reservations about it anyway.

There’s nothing I can change about the bits that have been a mess. The fallout is either there to stay or managed and moved on from.

It’s as good as it gets really, all things considered

OP posts:
Burntt · 12/12/2025 23:08

Men do this all the time! Go for it if you want.

IdaGlossop · 12/12/2025 23:08

aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 22:54

That should say long term partner! Not parent ffs

Who knows what's behind that interesting little slip 😄

76eues · 12/12/2025 23:11

A 5 year gap is less than nothing. It's real, extreme puritanism to object to a relationship between two people in their 20s.

Good luck to you both.

Daytimenighttime · 12/12/2025 23:17

Burntt · 12/12/2025 23:08

Men do this all the time! Go for it if you want.

Men do this all the time!

Oh well if men do it then it must be ok. Us women had better do it too then.

For heaven's sake what a criteria to use when deciding how to live your life.

deveronvalley · 12/12/2025 23:20

Have you witnessed him with his friends? I had a crush on a younger guy (much bigger age gap than you’re talking about) and one day I saw him larking about with his mates and it stopped my ardour dead in its tracks!!

WeAreNotOk · 12/12/2025 23:24

OP, just have some fun. Christ, life is so short.

Inexplicablesarcasm · 12/12/2025 23:26

That's not an age gap. You're both adults. Don't worry about it for a second.

polkadotpixie · 12/12/2025 23:27

No but I’m 41 🤣 If I was 28 I wouldn’t bat an eyelid!

Inexplicablesarcasm · 12/12/2025 23:28

You'll always regret this if you don't give it a go...

Creepybookworm · 12/12/2025 23:28

My son is 23. Wouldn't bother me if I knew about it. Although my son is unlikely to find himself in the situation 😂

aliciainwonderlands · 12/12/2025 23:31

deveronvalley · 12/12/2025 23:20

Have you witnessed him with his friends? I had a crush on a younger guy (much bigger age gap than you’re talking about) and one day I saw him larking about with his mates and it stopped my ardour dead in its tracks!!

I have. He has chit chat and laughs but it all sounds properly ‘manly’ and nothing school boyish about it

Deep laugh as well…

OP posts:
Makingpeace · 12/12/2025 23:31

floppybit · 12/12/2025 23:01

I thought you were going to say you were 50 but you’re only 28 so crack on! Just be very careful not to fall in love with him and get your heart broken.

Yeah same. I was disappointed to read that you are just 28 and asking this question. I was hoping for a 45+ year old and all the fun Friday night Mnetters to reply that would follow. Would make a good read on a Friday night!

Crack on and don't bat an eyelid.