Would you sleep with a 23 year old?

[aliciainwonderlands]

I have great chemistry with him. He’s so bloody attractive. Masculine yet calm within it. Not a show off. But naturally a real ‘I’ve got it handled’ type.

I am 28 and it feels a bit… wrong? I don’t know. I just feel like I’m taking advantage

We are very flirtatious and I see him saying yes if I asked. When we talk, I feel like I’m 16 again. So much banter and easy back and forth.

I would love to get to know him more but just sex is the most sensible thing here. Our life stages are too different to become invested or let myself imagine he’d want me as a long term parent. I am very attractive. But that’s all. My life is a bloody mess but I’ve made the best of it and have calm and clarity now I am separated from an emotionally manipulative and boring arse.

I am newly divorced. Got married at 20. 2 children. Been through awful bereavements etc. Life experience very old for my own years, let alone a 23 year old to have much in common with me genuinely

He lives with his mum still. Doesn’t turn me off - not in this economy! But he doesn’t have any real world experience really. He has lived a life a 23 year old in 2025 should live. Life has yet to be unkind to him or throw any major curveballs that generally comes with age, marriage, kids, child loss etc

Please someone tell me it’s fine?

Well "I" would, if I wanted to, (and Im a lot older than you) but a couple REALLY important points to keep in mind
. The age gap is not significant, whatever your life experiences, noone from outside would bat an eyelid
. Be honest with him. Tell him what you want from him. Don't dress it up, or exagerate. Even if its a simple "I don't know".
.You have 2 children, leave them out of it completely. I'm actually not completely adverse to "hey little Johnny, meet my friend Mike", and keep it as platonic friends if/ when they are around. Your children don't need to know about what you get up to (even when they are adults 🤷‍♀️).
.You've been through a lot, keep your guard up for a while. The first heartbreak after a serious break is often the hardest. Worse than the divorce.
. We only get one shot at life. Better to regret the mistakes we made, than the chances we missed

When met my husband of 30 years he was 23. I was 31!!

I was five years older than my husband.

I thought you were going to say you were much older. My son has a similar gap.with his fiancee . Crack on !

My husband is older than me by a few years. He’s in his early 50s and I’m in my 40s. It doesn’t make any difference at all other than when he’s reminiscing about hearing songs in the 70s and asks me if I remember the songs on top of the pops “when I was little” too and I have to remind him I wasn’t born until the en of that decade. Other than that 🤷‍♀️

The important thing is: Is he nice? Like properly nice not “I’m a nice guy” nice? Do you have things in common? Does he make you laugh? Do you feel good when you’re with him? Is it fun?

Then go for it!

Well I wouldn't because I'm 60. You however are only a few years older. Crack on.

Sorry but l’ve booked him for Friday, l’ll ask if he can do Saturday for you though. 😀

No, but I’m older than you.

I probably wouldn’t have at 28 either as there’s quite a bit maturity gap at that age. I think that 5 years is less of an issue once you get into your 30s.

Go for it. Life is short and he sounds lovely. You are only 28. Good luck x

Suppose it's legal, but still leaves a bit of a sour taste in the mouth tbh.

Yes that’s fine. My DS is 26 and his GF is 32. They got together when he was 22. It’s worked out well for them and no one other than my DM questions the age gap.

A 5 year age gap in your 20's is nothing.

BUT, you're at very different stages of your lives. He still lives at home so WILL be immature in many ways. You've been married and had kids, so you're inevitably a lot more "Worldly wise" and mature. THAT's more of the problem.

To be honest, the latter would still be a problem if you were the same age.

So, it's not age, it's the different life stages that is the main problem here.

I really struggle to see how there's any future with an immature 23 year old still living at home settling down with a divorcee with 2 children. It's just two much of a difference in life. Does he even want to become a step dad to 2 children at that age?

As others have said, maybe have a bit of fun as a FWB, but I'd steer away from thinking about a long term relationship and keep a distance so you don't fall for him!

Are your friends and family ok with it? No criticism from me, I just wondered how other people felt.