My partner is angry because I wont tell him my Bodycount

[northern2025]

He has repeatedly asked me and I haven’t answered him but now he has sat me down and said think carefully exactly what you say and wanted me to talk about my sec life since I was a teen, when I am mid forties now
I have been single for quite a bit of this time and had several short term relationships
he is making me feel anxious and isn’t speaking to me now as thinks I can’t be trusted

It’s no one else’s business. You can share a clean STI screening and any information that may involve a particular risk. But whether you’ve had sex with one unfaithful and promiscuous person or with 100 different people - the risk might well be the same. Let’s be honest, that’s not why this question is being asked.

Then you don't tell him the truth. What's he going to do, hire a forensic detective? I mean it's none of his business anyway, but if you must, do what every woman has done since antiquity and say 3-5.

I will unpick it for you.

You are better off alone.

It starts with him verbally abusing you and ends with him punching your face.

When my ex wanted to discuss my former body-count, I put on as straight a face as possible as I replied: "Is this humans only or do I have to include my New Zealand farm holiday when I was only 16?"

Tell him you cannot recall and
If he asks again...end the relationship.

Or skip the first part and just end it.

Get rid. This does not bode well for his future behaviour towards you.

I’ve been happily married for 25 years (we met when we were both 30) and we’ve never had the ‘body count’ discussion, we don’t need to know.

Get rid of him. Dump him by text then block him. If you’ve bought his Christmas present already return it for a refund then treat yourself to something luxurious. Enjoy Christmas without this dickhead.

JFC - your getting out here is simple doesn’t trust you- game over. Dump him

Reading all your posts OP, you have to split asap, you said yourself that he is wearing you down, your friends are worried about you. He will get worse and worse.
You could think of it this way: you're wasting your time on him is delaying you meeting a nice, kind and mature man who you can have a lovely relationship with.

Don't be like my gran who is ancient and has been in an abusive relationship for 35 years but still thinks she'd rather not be alone. It'll never get better, only worse.

You're not alone. You have really good friends who care for you.

Why the hell are you still giving this horrible cunt the time of day? Why are you letting yourself be abused like this?

Yes, but if the OP says that, he's going to want their names, and how old she was, and where and when, and how many times, over and over again. Then, a week later, he'll ask the same questions again. Ad infinitum.

Tell him to fuck the fuck off to fucksville and when he gets there fuck off a bit further

If this is true then you shouldn't be with him. No-one should be making you feel like this. He sounds controlling and you should leave him now before it gets worse.

OP please ditch him he’s a prick. You say your self esteem is on the floor, yet it’s gonna get even lower staying with this man, please, it’s better to be single. There are so many lovely men out there, do not settle for this nasty piece of work, you deserve more!!!

Next time he asks how many people you've slept with, say:
"Not enough"
Then dump him.

He’s a controlling and manipulative, and possibly dangerous, piece of shit. It’s none of his business. Please dump him. Being on your own is better than putting up with this kind of emotional abuse.

Or better still, say it’s none of your business, then dump him!

In which case, you should probably ditch him. It's an unreasonable demand, and he's setting you up for a situation in which none of your options will be acceptable to him. Leave.

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT THIS

Massive red flag for abuse. You dont need to put up with it, you deserve much better. This behaviour is absolutely not normal and he has no right to know. Sounds like he’s been red pilled. You can’t change him, get out before the abuse gets worse and worse.

You don't have to explain anything. You can never win at this game he wants you to play. It sounds like you'd be on trial, and having interrogated you about your sexual history he would decide whether you had made the right choices and were therefore worthy of him, or not.
Who made him accuser and judge? He's not your boss or the law; he's someone you're supposed to be in a relationship of equals with.

I'd send this text:

If I tell you my bodycount, the police would investigate.

Then block him forever.

Yes, it's a horrible grisly term.

Dump him

It's none of his business