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Original poster

Lied about his age - sackable offence?

824 replies

Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 07:54

Been seeing a guy for nearly 2 months. Met online, his age was 48 on his profile. I am 36, I generally have no issue with guys being a bit older, in fact have always dated men older than me.

First date was actually on his birthday which I didn’t realise until the day itself, he said he was 48 ON his birthday but the app changed to 49. I asked him about it and he said no, he was 48, so I assumed it was an error on the app. One year, no biggie.

However, I did a google search the other day out of curiosity, given I am getting a bit more invested and wanted to just check everything checks out, everything going well and I really like him - Seems mutual and we both want something serious. He is listed as a director for something on companies house, birth year 1971 which makes him 54!! Definitely him as the company tallies up with what he told me, his name isn’t common and month was correct.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off about this?! I get shaving a few years off for the app, but fess up straight away surely, especially when I asked him directly about it and he lied. I get it may be an insecurity thing but it’s not so much the age that’s an issue but the lying. It also means there is far more of a substantial age gap between us than I realised. FWIW he looks very good for his age!

I guess I’ll have to be the on to bring it up won’t I? And confess I was googling 😂 or is it likely companies house is wrong?!

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 13/12/2025 09:19

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 09:11

@RavenFinch Thanks for sharing, though it's so depressing the lengths they will go to. I don't know how they do it. If something feels off or there is some kind of dishonesty I am literally compelled to address it so I can't understand how people lie about their entire lives sometimes.

I think no response is the response now sadly, over 12 hours is enough time. Not even a, sorry I'll get back to you properly once I get a moment. You would think by 54 he would have more maturity. It's not like I lost my shit at him or anything, I was pretty calm about it.

I have never been a great beauty or a fabulous catch, but some of the lies men have told me to try to get me into bed, on a long or short term basis, are quite incredible.

InheritNever · 13/12/2025 09:21

The only good thing to come out of this is using him, telling friends, work colleagues, the postman, that you've just dumped him, fed up with old and On Line Dating Your back on the market looking for a straightforward relationship with a lovely, age and lifestyle appropriate man.
Look how we've all been following your story, hoping for the best, fearing the worst. It's a very human need to want to help decent people and someone out there will have a brother, friend of a friend, old uni friend who is also recently single, new to the market and just wants to meet someone normal.

I wish you luck. It's decent weather here, go for a walk get a book and go sit in your most hipster local cafe.

Best wishes, I wish it didn't hurt so much.

RavenFinch · 13/12/2025 09:24

Crumpet444 · 11/12/2025 10:56

Because I'm a lawyer I have to be responsible for policing his behaviour? It's not a safety issue, I don't owe some kind of duty to other women on the app to the extent I need to stand over him and insist he calls customer service for the benefit of his future dates 😅I would be slightly disappointed if he was still actively dating anyway tbh, but he might well be.

Show quote history

Actually it is slightly your duty to other women on the app. You don't need to stand over him to make him change his age on the app. But it would be worth asking him:

● Please change your DOB on the app to 1971. Did you think that no women you date would find you on LinkedIn or Companies House? The next woman you date will find the same information that I have done. Call ............... dating app and get them to change your DOB to 1971 before it causes you more problems with the next woman you meet.

You also have the choice to report his profile on the app (if you want) for using a fake age.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Pointing out to him in a text that other women will also find this information on Companies House and on LinkedIn will cause him to think and reflect.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Also, ask yourself:

● after he has changed his age on the app to 54 with the correct birth date - would you now be jealous of other women finding him on the app ????

Although probably ^ that it is a moot point, it does seem slightly unfair after all this unravels (and you point out to him that this info is easily obtainable online) if he decides to be honest with the next person he meets on the app ???

But will he ever be fully honest? 🤔

Surely this initial lie which was the starting point of you meeting him (first date and his birthday) is indicative that he probably lies about other things as well.

thisoneiscalledbluebellsinpastels · 13/12/2025 09:29

Ah I am so sorry OP but sadly, it wasnt unexpected. He's a liar who lied to your face and now he cant even be arsed to have the decency to reply to you. What an absolute arsehole.

My guess is - he'll either slink away and you'll never hear from him again. OR, you'll get some long convoluted overly flattering text later today explaining why he lied and it will all be a "poor me" diatribe about how you are so wonderful he had to lie because he didnt think he deserved you and you are so beautiful and yada yada yada and he's so very sorry and it will never happen again and if only you'd give him one more chance he will prove it to you blah blah.

But know that these are just more lies to over up the first lie.

You deserve so much better than this garbage and you will find it, I promise.

CatPawsAreCute · 13/12/2025 09:33

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 08:23

I’ve been single for 5 years. I’m getting so fed up. It’s not as though I am a terrible prospect either I don’t think, far from it.

he may have had a chance of fixing it had his reaction been good but that is now becoming vanishingly unlikely because it’s now been over 12 hours and he just let me go to sleep on it. Just makes me feel like crap. I know it’s a relatively small thing and it wasn’t a long time but the first time I had liked someone for literally years.

why do they do it.

Show quote history

Did you not say earlier in the thread that family and friends think you're standards are too high? Or something similar.

That you were still considering...actually still are considering...continuing a relationship with a man who lied to you in person about this when you queried it the first time shows that your bar is set way too low.

You're going out of your way to excuse him. And when anyone commenting says this, you get a bit defensive and say that you were just giving him a chance to resolve it. And still want to give him a chance despite him not replying to your message.

This man has charmed your boundaries into near non existence.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 13/12/2025 09:44

Op he will respond, he wants to be with a younger woman too much. He’s just trying to think of how to manage it, and he wants to put you on the back foot, make you in the wrong. He’s showing his displeasure.

in the honey moon period at the start of a relationship they are on their best behaviour. Trying hard. But it doesn’t take much, or too long, for the real person to show up.

the biggest mistake we can make is ignoring the red flags. Because more and more get unrolled. These maybe the first lies he’s told you. They wouldn’t be the last.

what gets me though, is behind his eyes, he thinks he’s conned you. That you think he’s 48 and wants babies. When he’s 54 and doesn’t. And he’s looking at you and knowing that.

i absolutely guarantee there is more he’s lied about;

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 09:49

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 13/12/2025 09:44

Op he will respond, he wants to be with a younger woman too much. He’s just trying to think of how to manage it, and he wants to put you on the back foot, make you in the wrong. He’s showing his displeasure.

in the honey moon period at the start of a relationship they are on their best behaviour. Trying hard. But it doesn’t take much, or too long, for the real person to show up.

the biggest mistake we can make is ignoring the red flags. Because more and more get unrolled. These maybe the first lies he’s told you. They wouldn’t be the last.

what gets me though, is behind his eyes, he thinks he’s conned you. That you think he’s 48 and wants babies. When he’s 54 and doesn’t. And he’s looking at you and knowing that.

i absolutely guarantee there is more he’s lied about;

in all honesty I think he will actually be too scared to respond. The fact it's been over 12 hours and total radio silence just shows he's being weak and cowardly. Had it been me I would have replied immediately to apologise and arrange a time to speak.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 13/12/2025 09:52

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 13/12/2025 09:44

Op he will respond, he wants to be with a younger woman too much. He’s just trying to think of how to manage it, and he wants to put you on the back foot, make you in the wrong. He’s showing his displeasure.

in the honey moon period at the start of a relationship they are on their best behaviour. Trying hard. But it doesn’t take much, or too long, for the real person to show up.

the biggest mistake we can make is ignoring the red flags. Because more and more get unrolled. These maybe the first lies he’s told you. They wouldn’t be the last.

what gets me though, is behind his eyes, he thinks he’s conned you. That you think he’s 48 and wants babies. When he’s 54 and doesn’t. And he’s looking at you and knowing that.

i absolutely guarantee there is more he’s lied about;

100% - you only need to read the threads on here to see what happens when we ignore the ‘small’ red flags at the start and give men benefit of the doubt because it’s guaranteed that won’t be the only ‘minor’ thing. And it always turns out they’ve actually got more red flags that the Russian army on May Day in Moscow but then there’s a mortgage and a couple of kids and she’s trapped.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 13/12/2025 10:01

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 08:23

I’ve been single for 5 years. I’m getting so fed up. It’s not as though I am a terrible prospect either I don’t think, far from it.

he may have had a chance of fixing it had his reaction been good but that is now becoming vanishingly unlikely because it’s now been over 12 hours and he just let me go to sleep on it. Just makes me feel like crap. I know it’s a relatively small thing and it wasn’t a long time but the first time I had liked someone for literally years.

why do they do it.

Show quote history

I’ve been wondering why you’re spending so much time and energy hand wringing over this guy who you’ve only known for such a short time, and I guess this response explains it - you don’t want to have to go back to the drawing board and start looking again.

Which is understandable, given the dating world can be a complete shitshow. You’ve invested in the idea of this guy, and it’s hard to let go of that. Especially if you’ve been single for a long time, when you meet somebody you click with it can seem like a relevation.

But this guy is not a serious contender for a relationship if he’s willing to lie like this about something so fundamental. You deserve better.

Andepeda · 13/12/2025 10:38

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 09:49

in all honesty I think he will actually be too scared to respond. The fact it's been over 12 hours and total radio silence just shows he's being weak and cowardly. Had it been me I would have replied immediately to apologise and arrange a time to speak.

Show quote history

That's the point though OP. You wouldn't have lied in the first place.

Coffeeishot · 13/12/2025 10:39

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 09:49

in all honesty I think he will actually be too scared to respond. The fact it's been over 12 hours and total radio silence just shows he's being weak and cowardly. Had it been me I would have replied immediately to apologise and arrange a time to speak.

Show quote history

Well he is lying to young women for sex so him not responding shouldn't be a suprise really,

Coffeeishot · 13/12/2025 10:43

Coffeeishot · 13/12/2025 10:39

Well he is lying to young women for sex so him not responding shouldn't be a suprise really,

Show quote history

You are holding a man who lied to your face to your standards.

TwistedWonder · 13/12/2025 10:47

This is absolutely his third strike so he’s out

He lied originally, you asked him and gave him a chance to be honest - he lied again this time to your face. And now you’ve given him one last chance to come clean and he’s ignored you.

No doubt he’ll be back on the apps chasing more women young enough to be his daughter within hours.

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 10:47

I am actually quite shocked / shook he hasn't replied.

OP posts:
NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

Coffeeishot · 13/12/2025 10:39

Well he is lying to young women for sex so him not responding shouldn't be a suprise really,

Show quote history

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

thisoneiscalledbluebellsinpastels · 13/12/2025 10:55

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

Show quote history

I dont think that poster was implying he is cheating on the OP, I think they were saying he is lying about his age so that he can have access to and sleep with younger women like the OP. Younger women who might not otherwise consider a relationship with him if he was honest about his age. Which is exactly what he has done to the OP, so it's spot on.

This is exactly what he is doing- lying to get women into bed.

It is a huge red flag- he has lied to her face and now is ignoring her. If he had genuinely ballsed up and wanted to put it right then he could have told OP when she asked about his age but he lied to her face.

If that isnt enough of a warning then frankly, I dont know what is.

Also- how can she have a conversation when he is ignoring her? thats rude as hell after what he did

Original poster
Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 10:57

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

Show quote history

I could have forgiven a few hours or even until morning, but honestly, how cowardly do you have to be to just not respond entirely. I'm certainly not messaging him again anyway, as far as I am concerned with the information I have presently, it's over.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 13/12/2025 11:22

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

Show quote history

Well he was on an app lying wasn't he I don't think it is that much of a leap, as the op only knows what he is telling her.

Andepeda · 13/12/2025 11:22

He might just turn up at your home OP, to charm you in person.

silkysoft · 13/12/2025 11:27

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

Show quote history

Sorry but this is terrible advice. Absolutely terrible.

Given what he's done after only 2 months of dating he doesnt deserve another chance.

Giving people chances over and over when they've shown you who they are is why women end up in horrible relationships, look back, and wish they had paid heed to the red flags that were visible from very early on.

Date someone for who they are, not who you hope them to be in the future.

OP does not have to settle for some lying wanker who is two decades older than her with more baggage than Heathrow

ThatAquaRobin · 13/12/2025 11:27

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 13/12/2025 10:49

That's a leap, it would appear that he's been in a monogamous relationship with the OP, why do you think he's sleeping with other younger women?

I suspect he's got stuck in the lie which to him maybe he doesn't consider a big deal and now he's been found out he doesn't know how to handle it and has ballsed it up by not responding

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

Show quote history

I possibly wouldn't write him off totally without at least a conversation if there are no other red flags

I would!
If he regards this as a little white lie, he's more than capable of lying about many other important issues. He's shown the OP who he is.
Scummy behaviour from an entitled man who thought he'd got it sewn up with a younger fitter model. He must think women are stupid.

Aluna · 13/12/2025 11:31

Crumpet444 · 13/12/2025 10:47

I am actually quite shocked / shook he hasn't replied.

I’m really sorry OP.

It indicates he wasn’t expecting you to rumble him or he would have had a spiel ready.

Dozer · 13/12/2025 11:45

Further bad sign that aged 54 he said he wants more DC, when older men’s sperm increases all kinds of risks, borne by the woman and DC.

ThatCyanCat · 13/12/2025 12:03

Dozer · 13/12/2025 11:45

Further bad sign that aged 54 he said he wants more DC, when older men’s sperm increases all kinds of risks, borne by the woman and DC.

He doesn't want children, he wants an excuse and a lure to date women 20 years younger.

TwistedWonder · 13/12/2025 12:09

ThatCyanCat · 13/12/2025 12:03

He doesn't want children, he wants an excuse and a lure to date women 20 years younger.

Show quote history

Agree. It’s just part of the script, along with knocking years off his age, to get the chance to shag women young enough to be his daughter.

Grim, grubby, sleazy and pretty predatory imo