I found this in my bed.

[Bugsandbeds]

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

Sorry OP. But yes I agree with the others who are saying not to ask him outright. My now ex had an affair and the lies that so easily rolled off his tongue when I confronted him were incredulous. In fact he even told me that my paranoia about him having an affair would end our marriage if I wasn’t careful. A supreme liar, cheater and gaslighter. So no I don’t think it’s worth just asking him outright unless you have more to go on.

If this goes hand in hand with anything else like a change in patterns Ie more time spent out of the house than normal for work / gym / hobbies, or he’s become more secretive or attached to his phone, or his attitude towards you has changed then that’s very telling.. also dressing a bit more sharply and taking obviously more care in his appearance recently.

If you can ensure a camera would remain hidden then I think that’s a good shout. I do think you should also consider a ring doorbell too - I have one and they are brilliant. But at least with a hidden camera then he wouldn’t know to change his behaviour.

Check his search history (Cheaters - if he is one aren’t always as careful as you might think) if you have a shared laptop and also breezily ask to borrow his phone to look something up as yours is ‘in the car/ dead/ upstairs’ and see what his reaction is.

Good luck

I don't seriously believe any man does that once he's over 14.

Sadly @BugsandbedsI do know of a woman whose husband conducted an affair in their marital bed. It does happen. Absolute scumbags.

Do any of your neighbours have video doorbells? They might have footage

Could check own Ring doorbell history for notable gaps - might give a clue as to if/when the recording has been deactivated for a period and possibly reveal a pattern (you can scroll back one whole month if you have a subscription).

3hrs worth of 'no events' recorded every Tuesday afternoon between 1pm and 4pm would look pretty suss. 🧐

She’s already said they don’t have a video doorbell….

I dunno, this is how I found out a boyfriend of mine was married. Also how I confirmed a husband of mine was cheating. It's despicable, but not so unusual

Nope. It says latex and preservatif.

Am I stating the obvious but has OP checked in (all) the bins for a condom? It won't necessarily prove hes cheating but would clear up once and for all if the wrapper was a condom and also could put him on the spot with it and see his reaction. He might have been clever and hid it well but unlikely if hes left the wrapper in the bed.. Just a thought.

Do you use laundromats?

Have those particular sheets been in the cupboard for years?

“Bullship”

I love this.

permission to quote you?

Using a buttplug while WFH?

I have known people do the posh wank thing.. but...

a - when free condoms are supplied to
b - young people with a vested interest in not making a mess

Lot of it going on when I was at college (residential before you think thats a weird thing to do at college) because we all got free johnnies lavished upon us... and we all had to do our own laundry and entertain guests in our small rooms, sat on our beds. So some of the more enlightened lads would do this.

Married men in their own homes... who would have to go out and specifically purchase condoms? Nope.

It’s pretty sneaky but if you genuinely believe he could be cheating, I would consider setting up a hidden camera - not in the bedroom as that would be pretty full on, but front / back door or similar… I’d rather have 100% evidence before confronting/questioning. Cameras are pretty easy to buy and set up (and get notifications of motion).

I would just ask him.
His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Get your ducks in a row first though.

Just something like - I found your condom packet in bed the other day, posh wank or affair? He will not be able to handle the directness of that question.

I don't believe this for one second. This was believed once by some poor sod and it's stuck.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

By all means you could install a camera, however what if your Husband isn’t having sex on a regular basis with someone?

You could be potentially waiting a long time in anguish while you await some kind of footage of a random person entering your house and I would worry about the psychological effects this would have on you op.

What if he had hired a prostitute once and felt guilty after and decided he wouldn’t do it again - you’d be waiting forever for someone on camera and it wouldn’t happen. Or what if he hires a prostitute but he does this once a month or less frequently? That would be a long and tormenting time for you to wait for an answer. How would you cope in the meantime?

I agree with this. You have information now OP. I would ask the neighbours to check their door camera and look at his phone, in his car, bags and go the full detective until I knew what the true state of my life was before I confronted him, even to the point I would be installing covert cameras in the house.

Not a chance would I leave this to just hope. I have to know the worst and as soon as possible and no way would I confront at this stage.

There is such a tiny chance that that is there as a result of anything other than he is having sex with someone else in your own bed though, I would be getting all my ducks in a row and getting legal advice too so I had the front foot in everything.

OP, do you have teenage children? If so, they may have “borrowed” your bed. It happens.

No posters have considered that the DH could possibly be having and affair with a male sexual partner. It is a real possibility and happens often and male with male sex more likely to use condoms. This could explain his recent exercise hobby, using therapists in the past etc. I know of a friend this happened to. DW was married a long time with children and suddenly DH started having an affair with another man. I knew the DH well and for a long time. No one (male and female friends) had any inkling he was bisexual, there were no clues.
Also if not another man I think it's definitely the women from the running club. If OP confronts him he will just lie and gaslight her. Only option is to get some kind of evidence, secret camera in the doorway a good idea. or spy on his phone so OP actually knows what she is dealing with.

Chat GPT says it’s from McDonalds, ketchup packet for the red one but condome for the other. This must feel mind blowing for you.

i would read this post out to your husband as though it is someone else’s pist and ask him for his opinion on it. Sorry. You must be feeling so churned up.x

Which goes to prove what the Google chief said about AI 😂