Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I found this in my bed.

617 replies

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 19:52

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
gmgnts · 21/11/2025 21:37

If he's had the snip, why would he be using condoms with an affair partner? Unless he was with a prostitute, who would demand it.

TrippingOverMyAssets · 21/11/2025 21:38

Why are so many women convinced a man would never ever ever use a condom for a change and to save the mess? Yes believe it or not sometimes some men do actually use a condom for a cheeky wank. DH has and he’s not having an affair. He’s actually sitting laughing at this. He said initially it actually feels nice first putting it on and it saves getting anything on the bedding. I’m amazed at the amount of women on here who think they know everything there is to know about how another sex masturbates, If your men are all having affairs then maybe look at the sort of men you are gravitating toward.

BatshitOutofHell · 21/11/2025 21:38

Now that you have found this you may start noticing other things. Make sure that you don't let on to him what you have discovered so that you can notice these things.

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 21:38

Mydahliasareshit · 21/11/2025 20:58

Is there anyone like a cleaner or teenagers and friends who have access to your home OP? Tradesmen doing work?

No, only person who has a key (other than me and husband) is the dog walker and I highly doubt it's her when OH works from home.

OP posts:
sheknowsitstoolate · 21/11/2025 21:40

gmgnts · 21/11/2025 21:37

If he's had the snip, why would he be using condoms with an affair partner? Unless he was with a prostitute, who would demand it.

So he doesn’t catch anything from shagging about?

MrsLizzieDarcy · 21/11/2025 21:44

I'd also add that given boxes of condoms are now around the £15 to £20 mark, I can't see many men treating themselves to a box or two for a "posh wank" Hmm (whoever invented that saying should be shot).

Arlanymor · 21/11/2025 21:45

TrippingOverMyAssets · 21/11/2025 21:38

Why are so many women convinced a man would never ever ever use a condom for a change and to save the mess? Yes believe it or not sometimes some men do actually use a condom for a cheeky wank. DH has and he’s not having an affair. He’s actually sitting laughing at this. He said initially it actually feels nice first putting it on and it saves getting anything on the bedding. I’m amazed at the amount of women on here who think they know everything there is to know about how another sex masturbates, If your men are all having affairs then maybe look at the sort of men you are gravitating toward.

@TrippingOverMyAssets If your men are all having affairs then maybe look at the sort of men you are gravitating toward.

What a lovely comment to make given that it might be the reality of this thread. Some people here are trying to help. you're being supercilious and smug.

Onetimeusername1 · 21/11/2025 21:46

Is it possible he was sorting his gym bag on your bed and that piece of wrapper accidentally fell out. I.e. still cheating but not in your bed. Also sounds like he has mention-itis about that other woman and perhaps seeing himself as her saviour...

Hons123 · 21/11/2025 21:48

MikeRafone · 21/11/2025 21:36

I think the wrapper got in the bed from his clothing and he used the condom elsewhere - then that part of the wrapper somehow was transferred and ended up in the bed

You probably hit the nail on the head.

Laura95167 · 21/11/2025 21:55

Looks like a vape wrapper but could be a condom wrapper. Ask DH

HildegardP · 21/11/2025 21:57

MrsLizzieDarcy · 21/11/2025 21:44

I'd also add that given boxes of condoms are now around the £15 to £20 mark, I can't see many men treating themselves to a box or two for a "posh wank" Hmm (whoever invented that saying should be shot).

Never paid for a condom in my life, there are masses of free sources. In a former job I used to give them out in bars & clubs along with sexual health info.
BTW, the term to which you object is new to me & I agree it's meh. I'm more accustomed to "fancy wank" covering all & any variation from the mundane.

SnoworRainbow · 21/11/2025 22:00

And what a lovely man your husband must be to sit and laugh at this thread.

SqueakyDinosaur · 21/11/2025 22:00

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 21:38

No, only person who has a key (other than me and husband) is the dog walker and I highly doubt it's her when OH works from home.

No, the only person you've ever given a key to is the dog walker. That's not necessarily the only person who has a key.

MikeRafone · 21/11/2025 22:01

Hons123 · 21/11/2025 21:48

You probably hit the nail on the head.

for those asking why he used a condom if he has had the snip - some woman insist on a condom being warn to avoid disease

also where is the rest of the wrapper?

Arlanymor · 21/11/2025 22:03

SnoworRainbow · 21/11/2025 22:00

And what a lovely man your husband must be to sit and laugh at this thread.

Quite. The pair of them eh?

Crikeyalmighty · 21/11/2025 22:03

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 20:43

I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for the advice xx

I’m so sorry OP but thisusgoodadvice- once you give the game away they go into self preservation mood and aren’t ’in Your team’ even if they know they are totally in the wrong - protect yourself

hyggetyggedotorg · 21/11/2025 22:07

He’s possibly putting it on the cucumber. The price of groceries being what it is maybe he can’t afford to buy another?

TooTightDiamondShoesDoingMyHeadIn · 21/11/2025 22:11

As other posters have said, Occams Razor - simplest explanation is the most likely.

Only you know if he’s the type of clean freak who would wank with a condom on OP. You know he has no reason to use them with you, so it’s unlikely he would actually buy them just for the purpose of a ‘posh wank’.

Would he actually bother to get into bed in the daytime to do that anyway? May as well sit on sofa or at his work station seeing as he’s gone to the trouble of ensuring no mess by buying condoms for that specific purpose.

An unlikely scenario IMO.

He could have had someone in and had sex on top of the quilt or the bed spread (do you have one), even on top of a towel as he would obviously be aware it’s his wife’s bed (!) and you may notice hairs or smells. They didn’t need to get into bed for sex in the day and most people wouldn’t. DH and I don’t!

He could have washed the quilt cover or bed cover or even just shaken it and not noticed a bit of the condom wrapper had flown into the bed when he shook it out.

How likely is it he could get someone into your house undetected by nosy neighbours OP? We have a driveway shielded from the road by a hedge and no one directly opposite for example. Back gate access etc?

I’d work on the assumption he had reason to use a condom while in the vicinity of your bed in your bedroom and it wasn’t for sex with you.

I’d be popping back home at lunchtime next week, parking up the road and extremely quietly entering the house on the day of the week you found the wrapper OP.

Tomorrow or tonight even say you’re ordering a doorbell camera from Amazon (decent ones for £40) as you’ve heard there’s been break ins in the area and see what he says. You will know if it’s been turned off from the app it will be on. Don’t push it if he fights against one.

You could still get one and position it secretly outside, in a hedge temporarily?, as long as it’s positioned to pick up the frontage of house and can pick up the house WiFi signal.

I certainly wouldn’t expect a truthful answer from a possible cheating husband so I would avoid asking him outright until you’re sure there is no other evidence because he’ll make sure there won’t be if you let him know you’re suspicious. I wouldn’t be able to hold it in for long though (a week tops) so try to do some digging as well without alerting him.

There’s no way I’d miss the opportunity to get the truth by warning him that I was looking for it.

Check his side of the wardrobe as well as you may find the rest of his condom stash. Car. garage, coat pockets, gym/work bags, phone if you can get into it.

Has he been anywhere abroad recently which would explain the foreign language on the wrapper?

TooTightDiamondShoesDoingMyHeadIn · 21/11/2025 22:15

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 21:38

No, only person who has a key (other than me and husband) is the dog walker and I highly doubt it's her when OH works from home.

Ah, feasible that he’s up to something with the dog walker? She comes into your home?

Bearlionfalcon · 21/11/2025 22:22

HildegardP · 21/11/2025 21:57

Never paid for a condom in my life, there are masses of free sources. In a former job I used to give them out in bars & clubs along with sexual health info.
BTW, the term to which you object is new to me & I agree it's meh. I'm more accustomed to "fancy wank" covering all & any variation from the mundane.

Sorry but it sounds like maybe you work in quite a specific field

mo25 · 21/11/2025 22:27

I would be thinking escort to be honest.

Jugendstiel · 21/11/2025 22:29

Bugsandbeds · 21/11/2025 19:59

Photos

Could also be a bit torn off a spectacles wipe sachet or an antiseptic wipe. Does your DH wear glasses? Has he cut himself recently? Sorry to be gross but if it's a condom, the inside of the sachet may be a bit slimy but if a spectacles wipe or antiseptic wipe it will be dry and smell of alcohol rub.

Edited to say caught up with the thread and obviously not, if it has the word 'latex' on it.

Ciao1234 · 21/11/2025 22:29

I am going to be picked on for this but has anyone here actually had an honest conversation with a man about sex and what goes through their minds. They have a deeper level of fantasy then they ever let on.
Some Men do find using a condom Masturbate as a turn on as they like the latex feeling. It is also cleaner and they can hide the mess or it incorporates into a fantasy that they keep to themselves as not to offend the female partner.
I work in a male dominated environment so I understand a lot from a male perspective and I have experienced this with my own husband.
His honesty and being non judgemental actually gave me a better sexual education.

Kidznurse · 21/11/2025 22:32

My OH uses a condom for ‘a posh wank’ and I’m not always around when he has the urge and can I ask if he’s circumcised because my OH is and says it’s more comfortable with a lubricated condom. Just a thought?

HildegardP · 21/11/2025 22:32

Bearlionfalcon · 21/11/2025 22:22

Sorry but it sounds like maybe you work in quite a specific field

Edited

IIRC, our focus at the time was on HIV prevention but these days drug-resistant gonnorhea is a growing problem, & drug-resistant syphilis though still rare has definitely been ticking upward. Encouraging condom use is a public good, esp because there's been a shameful dip in sexual health information, in recent years (thanks, dumb-as-soup sex pozzies) leading esp to young men assuming that all they need do to stay safe is take PrEP.

Edited for typo