I found this in my bed.

[Bugsandbeds]

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

I entirely agree, I’ve said the same.

Oh absolutely. Be an adult. All these lies and silly games are not going to help.
Just have a conversation.

This ^

Really? You would actually do this?

Confront him ask him straight up see how he reacts dont waste your time messing about

Oh no op so sorry. Please just ask him..if hes had another woman in your bed you know what you have to do. Vile pig.

I’ve been reading the full thread to see if someone suggests this as it’s what I would do. No expense on cameras, no having to ask him for him to probably lie, literally just wait and see if he questions you about it or if he basically panics and hides it. Make sure it’s in a spot that you wouldn’t have been able to see - for it to work, he has to believe you haven’t seen it.

Good luck op, I’m sorry this is happening. It certainly sounds like he is cheating when you add everything up - the question is what do you want to do next. If you decide you want your marriage to continue regardless, and don’t need him to admit it, then don’t drive yourself crazy looking for evidence. If you would continue the marriage only if he admits it, ends it and focuses on your marriage, you will need to ask him and lay it all out that 100% honesty is the ONLY way you’ll stay in the marriage. But be prepared to leave if he doesn’t ever admit it (unless you truly believe he hasn’t based on what he tells you) or if you don’t believe it’s over. If you want to leave because the trust has gone/he’s cheated/your relationship is already over that’s ok - you can end it for any reason you like. Do you need to get the evidence of an affair or will that hurt you further for no benefit? Or do you think you’ll need the evidence in case he contests a divorce and you just want it over now and not wait for years to get one through that path?

if you think the marriage is over, it could be over if he won’t find clean etc, get copies of all the financial statements etc now - it will be a lot harder once he knows your onto him or have asked for a divorce.

Do what you need to protect yourself - you don’t need to go looking for evidence if all that will do is hurt you further and you’ve decided you want a divorce anyway! But if you’re the sort of person that needs all the facts and information, do what you need/want to get the truth.

Am I going mad? Don't those pictures show one complete unopened condom and one split wrapper? And if there was a complete one why on earth would you post asking if the wrapper was off a condom when it so very clearly was?

I'm a bit baffled why the unopened one would be under the covers not on a side table. I'm afraid this sorry isn't making much sense to me.

OP do you use condoms? Does a child have access to your bedroom? I've got a very sweet memory of being 9 years old and sleeping in my parents bed one night, finding a condom in the cabinet and having no idea what it was, putting it on my foot, and later waking in my own bed with bare feet. It was years later that I realised what I'd done 🤣

Chiming in to say I also agree. Messing about with cameras and recording devices and everything else seems to me like an easy way to drive yourself mad. Just ask him. Have the confrontation.

I truly hope not but some of the suggestions here are wild.

The OP posted the photo of the split wrapper, another poster posted the picture of the unopened condom for comparison.

Aren't they just! I think sometimes people are in the realms of fantasy...

Sorry, I didn't understand that was how MN worked with photos.

He'll deny and lie. 'Oh it isn't a condom wrapper, you're going mad' etc etc. Cheats are very accomplished liars.

Snoop on his phone and gather evidence op. Ignore the naive 'ask him' posters .

'Ask him'. Yes he'll definitely spill the beans!

Some still are

im allergic to latex!

it’s not lots. But a few.

After a weekend away many years ago I arrived home to a perfectly made bed. I whipped off the covers & told him to make the bed again, & again …. He didn’t even come close.

Sorry OP, but unless he’s shagging the dog, it’s that woman. I’d suspect it was her who left the condom wrapper there too.

I am sorry, I don't understand your anecdote about your bed. Why did you keep telling DH to make the bed again and again?.

He'll give something away. He'll know he's been found out.
It'll start the ball rolling.

Absolutely classic affair behaviour - all of it. Other than shagging in your bed, but then if he works at home it saves the cost of a day use hotel.

Presumably because she knew he was rubbish at making the bed.

Right. So he kept making the bed badly to prove her point?

I assumed it was because she thought someone else, the OW, had made the bed perfectly and she knew he hadn't done it himself. He wasn't able to replicate the perfect bed making. Maybe I'm wrong.

Let's just delete the whole of Mumsnet off the internet then shall we.