I found this in my bed.

[Bugsandbeds]

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

I'm stuck on the fact he works from home and he still can't walk the dog himself.

I know a couple who both wfh and have a dog walker!

Increased interest in his physical appearance. New female friend. Being nicey nicey with you all of a sudden. Mysterious condom wrapper.

Its certainly shouts affair. Sorry OP.

I had a couple of friends when I was younger who were having affairs with older married men, they thought if the wives found out, they'd get their man sooner, so both used to leave 'clues' for the wives to find in their lovers' homes/cars. (Obviously neither man left their wife!)

Pot noodle sachet wrapper would be my guess. Does it taste spicy at all?

Yes - cheating husbands often buy their wife a gift to ease their conscience (at least in the beginning). Losing weight, working out and running with another woman (who is going through a difficult divorce - i.e. vulnerable and available) while you have no way of dropping in unexpectedly, just increases the possibility.

The fact that he thinks her husband is a dick speaks volumes for me.
Men rarely call out other men's bad behaviors so this would also suggest to me that he has some kind of feelings for her.

Also, a man who was not interested in this woman would probably switch off as soon as she's starts moaning about her husband / it's a male reflex.

However, you have two young children to consider.
I'm not a fan of breaking up a home with small children as I think marriage is first and foremost about providing a stable secure environment for children but that will be your call to make based on your own life experiences.

It could just be a short fling and if so, do you want to end your marriage because of it? I honestly think all men cheat on their wives at some point in their marriage - even if it's just a one-night stand.

If the sheets etc aren't changed then it's almost impossible to have sex in a bed without leaving other evidence like stray hairs or a slight sent. We are all well tuned into different sents in our living environment and particularly our beds, it's evolutionary. If there is no evidence of this then much more likely to have fallen out of a pocket when getting undressed or dressed. Which just means it's happening somewhere else, not in your bed.

It’s a condom wrapper. In Spanish they’re called Preservativo. In French prerservatif I think. You can see the letters.

This happened to me. I realised my ex must have a burner phone and wondered where he wud hide it. He cycled to work every day so my first thought was his wash bag. There it all was - condoms, burner phone, viagra and ambien which is a sex enhancer. Gym bag is what you need to keep an eye on. You mustn’t tell him you suspect.

Sorry @Bugsandbeds 😔

I agree with PP as I’ve been in this situation- use this time to collect information. Check all devices, paperwork etc for financial information for your solicitor. As soon as you confront him, all evidence of infidelity and significant financial stuff will disappear.
Then confront him. He will probably deflect, blame you, gaslight for a while. He may confess.
Be ready as it will be hard but you deserve a better life than this. Good luck.

Men routinely take mistresses home to marital bed. This is absolutely ‘normal’ behaviour

Sadly it seems Op is in denial

Well it seems very careless of him/them.
Not trying very hard not to be found out!

Check your bins for used condom?

His discussing this woman’s divorce and what he sees as fair strikes me as sounding you out about your marriage and what would happen if it ended.

Sorry but seems to me it was pretty deliberately placed there.

If his office is your bedroom is he online porning?

I know that people say it's an invasion of privacy but I'd get a secret camera in the hallway if I seriously suspected dh of an affair. It's not just him having a bit of fun when you have kids and a mortgage. It's blowing your kids stability up. So on that basis my kids would come over his private "affairs"

I know of someone who is married (to a woman) a guy with 2 kids, he is regularly out shagging men, she's oblivious. He really picked her well, a bit like OP in that she'd never go through his stuff. There are soooo many affairs I know of, work people etc. at least half the people in one company had cheated on their significant other, they don't give their partners a second thought, and lie. If they can find someone to marry who they can manipulate, or won't even look through a phone after finding a condom wrapper, then that works amazingly for them. These are the same people posting family pictures on social media, and screensavers of their kids. Surely you'd be fine with your OH using your phone, and they with you using theirs for various everyday things.

@Bugsandbeds I once came home to an empty condom wrapper on the floor of our bedroom at a time I was pregnant so we weren't using them. It was quite inconceivable to me that my husband had been doing anything untoward as he's a very sweet emotional kind of a person. So I took it to him straight away and asked in a jokey way 'and why is there a condom wrapper on our bedroom floor?' and his first reaction was to laugh. He'd pulled out a suitcase that day to pack for a trip that weekend and had pulled it out of the side pocket. All very believable, when we have used one away from home staying in friends spare rooms and don't want to put it into the bins we would hide them in there.

@DustlandFairytaleBeginning OP hasn't used one for three years and they were in the bed.

Where is the rest of the packet? Check the bins. From my teen days, there type of things are notoriously hard to flush!

I would ask him if he knows what this odd thing is you found in the bed, and take it from there. You’re not accusing him of anything so he can’t take offence. If he says he has no idea you will know he’s trying to hide something, whether it’s a woman or masturbation, and can legitimately press him further. Otherwise, you’re never going to know and you’ll always be wondering.

Ask him if he’s been eating snacks in bed and pretend you found part of a chocolate wrapper, and see if he explains it away or is caught out