H ‘gone fishing’

[Muggymcmug]

H disappeared first thing this morning muttering something about going fishing. By the afternoon I tried to call then sent a message to remind him of something we had on in a couple of hours. Eventually responded to say that he was going to be night fishing & would be back in the morning. In this weather.

On a scale of 1-absolute bullshit, he’s a massive liar isn’t he?! There has been infidelity which he would swear is over.

Turned his phone on this morning to say that he’ll be staying another night, has left my reply on delivered

The lack of respect here is staggering. I think the only reply here really is “I think you must take me for a fool. Don’t bother coming back.”

And then make an appointment with a solicitor. Sorry, OP.

How horrible for you OP, what if you needed time alone - he's just left you with no warning.

I hope you go through him. What an absolute cunt of a man.

Honestly, tell him not to come back.

Even if he was fishing, his behaviour is still unacceptable

Yeah I think he’s left you basically, and is just putting off telling you
i think once they stop bothering to make even remotely believable excuses and just piss off in the night it’s over and he’s moved in with the OW

I have friends night fishing this week, normally home 0630 and freezing cold. If night fishing is his thing he might not be lying but he could send you photos? Ask what his swim set up is like? Ask for photo ?

Yup. I updated re shore sea fishers.

Cod season, not that there are many these days, but their overnights tend to be set by the tide.

I don't think they will do an overnight and day, because they just have 6 hours or so max. Half the flood, half the ebb etc. Depending on where they fish of course.

But yes, given how much the shore folk depend on tides and weather, it's certainly often a case of pack and go at short very short notice. In the UK at this time of year, it's not often all things align.

Happy to be corrected.

Jeezo, this man doesn’t even care enough to lie convincingly. He’s checked out op, and is treating you with appalling disrespect. Time to get a plan together and think about the future.

Why do you need to leave? Pack his shit and leave it outaude whilst hes gone. Hes taken you for a mug.

Have requested a viewing on the cheapest house to rent locally, waiting to hear back. Don’t really know what to do with myself today & have youngest with me so feel awful about that

Absolutely agree with this.

I don't see how you can do anything other than finish the relationship OP.

Please get legal advice.

Absolutely breathtaking arrogance on his part. He is so sure he can treat you just how he likes and get away with it.

I agree with this! OP what is your financial situation? You are married so the house is an asset to you both. Pack his stuff for him to leave. Don’t let him force you and the children out!

Why do you need to leave? It's your home, and your kids' home. Pack his stuff. I'm so sorry, you must feel rotten.

But were they there for 24 hours at a time?

Yeah - I think anyone commenting that he "might" be actually fishing should concede now that he isn't.

Hi OP, sorry you’re going through this. While he’s off ‘fishing’ (yeh, right) use this time to change passwords of yours he might know, transfer half of any joint savings, gather important documents (passports/birth certificates etc) and any financial information that could be useful in a divorce situation. Book to see a solicitor for a free consultation. And think about selling the fishing gear that’s likely to still be in the shed on Facebook marketplace for some quick cash.

It sounded like they’re in a rental today so hence the comment about needing to get out in a couple of months.

No advice OP but cheering you on all the way.

So he's spending around 48 hours out in sub zero temperatures?! Do you know if he took somewhere to sleep, a tend, sleeping bag etc? When he eventually turns up it would be obvious if he'd been out fishing for 2 days in this cold weather. I'd assume when his car pulls up, he'd be able to show you his car filled with dirty boots, sleeping and fishing equipment...oh and some fish.

It really doesn't look good. I'm so sorry, you must be feeling so awful. I know that feeling of dread having been cheated on.

Because he might just refuse to leave when requested? It does happen.

I'm so sorry OP - that horrible sick feeling where you are both furiously angry and also uncertainty for the future.

You can do this. Will you definitely have to move to a new rental?

What a piece of shite

Can’t see his tent, so looks like he’s taken some stuff with him. No warm clothes as far as I can see though. So hes’s managed to make it half believable at least, if he was a penguin.

We’ll have to leave this house, it’s not owned and we can’t stay here without him. Have got a viewing booked in for a rental, although don’t feel very optimistic

Don’t leave if the house is yours OP. You’ll be liable for mortgage and rent. Get legal advice though. Can you afford to stay in the house without him? If not get estate agents round to value.

You are doing the right thing in planning to move forwards.

If I understood your posts correctly, you don't own a property and your shared property is coming up for tenancy renewal? Have you checked if you might be entitled to benefit top ups if you're on your own. You can check by using a benefit calculator - turn2us or entitledto have them on their websites.