Husband is always asking for sex

[OneSillyAzureFinch]

Hi,

My husband is always asking for sex and telling me how connected he feels afterwards etc. I just think he is after one thing only tbh. I must admit I do enjoy it and I do find him attractive but I don’t know if I’m lazy, but I just cba to make a move or I have no interest in it but I know it affects him mentally and frustrates him. I’m worried he might leave me for someone who can provide him with his needs. He does have a high labido compared to mine. I wish I could give him what he wants. We have two children aged between 8 & 12. The 8 year old is a challenge and bed time is stressful and puts me off all together afterwards tbh. Is anyone else in a similar situation ? I wish I could express to him how much I love him and find him attractive.

Some Men are absolutley obsessed with sex.

I do think that the sensation of being inside someone else's body, (what men feel) is much more of an addicting feeling,

then having someone inside our body. (What women feel).

Men feel a sense of power, accomplishment and acceptance.

One man said to me that he feels like he wants to be inside a vagina all the time,

he constantly thinks about being inside a vagina, and when he gets inside a vagina he thinks over and over "finally! Finally! I am inside!'

Its like an addiction

I never feel that desperate to have a penis inside me

We were designed to want sex to procreate, it’s a basic instinct, so if you don’t want sex, in my opinion, there’s something wrong. Yes it can be a stage in life but the OP doesn’t seem interested in sex in general. Look at it from his perspective, he’s being labelled a pest for a low amount of asking really, he’s does most of the chores and she laughs that she doesn’t let him clean only because she’s better at it. Otherwise, she’d be happy to put her feet up and watch him get to work.

That is bullshit!

Loads of people don't want to have children, for a start.

There is so much wrong with what you wrote.

First of all , many people don't want to procreate at all.

Secondly so many things affect desire for sex. Physical heath, hormonal changes, tiredness.
A woman with a newborn baby, getting four hours sleep a night, is probably less likely to desire sex than someone getting 8 hours sleep.

Work stress, caring for elderly parents. So many thinga affect desire for sex.

Then of course it also hugely depends on how well you are getting along with your partner.

If you are arguing a lot that week, you are not going to want to have sex with him

I don’t really appreciate the bullshit comments. You can disagree but it’s childish to speak like that.

I thought it was immature of you to write "we are designed to want sex to procreate".

That is pretty offensive to all the women on here who never wanted children

I don’t have children so I must be offending myself 🙄 do you know what a homosapien is?

Of course. Everyone knows.

2-3 times a week doesn't sound too bad.

But if he's pestering you for sex then LTB

When did 3 times a week become the acceptable "norm".

It sounds like a huge amount of sex to me.

That is 12 times a month.
144 times a year.

If I am single, I go on dates, i have sex about three times a year

If im in a realtionship, I have sex about once a month.

There is no way I could do sex 144 times a year

This is only true where both parties don't care much about sex. Not when one does.

It's just an average number of times that the average person would choose. You have a very low sex drive, that's fine, but you have to make sure you choose a partner with similar.

"A number that the average person would choose".

What scientific study is that in. And how large of a sample did they use?

If it is not in an actual study, it is just a made up number

As a species we are absolutely made to want to have sex to procreate. That doesn't mean every single individual human wants to have sex or to procreate. But most do!

I don't have a "very low sex drive" by the way

The last boyfriend that i had-

he also only wanted to have sex once a month.

We both wanted it.

Now I think of it, I talk about sex with some of my friends (small sample of 3 so I am not speaking about everyone, just them 3 women), none of them are having sex every single week.** People are tired and have a lot of commitments

The average person has sex more than once a week. You might think that's a lot but by the law of averages it's not!

Yeah, you really do. There's nothing wrong with that but you really should accept you're unusual.

Again, what study are you referring to?

You can't just make up a number yourself

No I really don't have a low sex drive and I am not unusual.

So as I wrote, my ex boyfriend also wanted sex once a month.

Are you saying he was unusual too?

Shouldnt we all be allowed to have our own personal preferences?

Someone who has sex three times a day, might think that someone like you has a low sex drive.

Everyone is different

https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-often-do-couples-really-have-sex-2329045

https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/27850-how-much-sex-are-britons-having

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-often-do-couples-have-sex#frequency

If you cant be arses he will feel unloved amd unwanted. Men WANT to be wanted also. The resentmemt hole is not one you want to go down.

Yes you were both unusual!
Do you know how averages work?

There is no way I could do sex 144 times a year

Why not?

2-3 times a week would be an absolute night mare for me! That's a LOT. Once a week is plenty!

I think one of the key things you said may be about the stressful bedtime. Does he help with that or is that all on you? If you were not involved in the bedtime bit at all and were e.g. having a bath and a glass of wine while he dealt with that would you feel any different? And / or could you fit it in at different times of day? At night when exhausted is often not a good time for some.