Partner accidentally hurt child

[Sccrumb]

My partner accidentally hurt our child. It led to a big injury for them. He kept blaming our child. They are 3 nearly 4. In my eyes he kept nagging our child all day and wound the child up. It all came to head at bed time. I left them alone for two seconds and our child had hurt him physically and he accidentally hurt them back by reflex.

We are meant to be getting married soon. We live together and also have an older DC and baby. I can't look at him the same despite the fact I know he would never deliberately hurt our children. It was such a scary injury and I couldn't sleep from fear that our child would go downhill over night. He on the other hand, slept quite soundly.

What do I do? Help me. My head is a mess and I'm extremely hormonal being pp.

@RamsayBoltonsConscience
@OldGothsFadeToGrey

I know this. I told my partner. He said if they had the context they would understand. I said no, they don't care about your side of the story. This will raise red flags to them and they will have a duty of safeguarding whether it was an accident or not.

He just will not accept that this is the case.

A push away of an arm maybe, but a kick from a grown man? We've all been accidentally hurt by our children when young but we dont retaliate. Im sorry but this sounds a lot more serious than you are letting on and I dont think you would've raised this post if you didnt think the same.

Don’t marry someone who needs anger management lessons.
Ditch him pronto.

He is a danger to your children and by minimising this you are justcas bad. This is abuse.

Then do it and let him find out.

Man injures OP's child. OP says it was a accident and blames her own hormones. FFS.

@Sccrumb , get the child to A&E or minor injuries unit.

What about your duty of safeguarding?

Has he ever hit you? Are you scared of him?

Op, if, at a later date it emerges that your partner has been abusing the child/children and you have not taken steps to protect them by leaving or getting him to leave, you do know that it is exactly that set of circumstances which can end up with the children being removed from your care, don’t you?

Wtf. So if you were bigger you may hit your kids too?! Or you do but you’re not as strong so they don’t get significant injuries? Did he get taken to hospital? SS need to be involved.

@Unicorn34 he said it was like this. A shove out from his leg after child had hurt him. Our child described it as a kick. Obviously his is a more diluted tale. He knows I don't believe him. He had ago at me last night because I'm choosing to side with DC rather than his telling of events.

Please take your child go a&e hopefully the authorities will pick this up. You need to put your children first.
Kick the man out now your children will not be safe until he has gone.

OP, sorry to have to say this, you’re making an excuse for that man. I guess he put those very words into your mind.

Do you have suspicions that he pushed your child or backed your child into a corner forcing them to get hurt?

I know this must hugely distressing for you.

You seem to be aware your partner has difficulties with their anger. You do need to make your children are safe.

Are there reasons for your partner to be angry? Do the drink, do drugs? Are they angry towards you or anyone else? Would they go to therapy and parenting classes?

Yet it was a ''reflex''?

No. He lashed out because he was angry and isn't it funny that it happened when you weren't there?

If he pushed a child away with and arm of a leg, as the child was getting physical and attacking him, and the child fell and hurt themselves on a cupboard corner, thats one thing.
If he kicked or punched the child with force thats another.
I would be looking into parenting courses, anger management and family therapy if you decide to stay.

@Mrswhiskers87 you have taken that completely out of context! I've never hit my child.

My point is that I said to my partner he is significantly bigger than the kids, if he can't get control of his anger one day he may seriously harm them even if he doesn't mean to.

He has abused your child.

Get the child medical attention.

Stop minimising what this man has done. He injured your child. Your child didn’t have an accidental injury as a result of an unavoidable reflex - your number one job is to protect your children - it isn’t to mitigate physical (perhaps even emotional?) abuse at the hands of your partner.

He hurt your child. Your response is to minimise it and blame the child. That’s awful.

OP you consider yourself to have a duty of safeguarding though, right? I think as pp above says you should take dc for check up and speak to a professional about it.

Do you 100% believe what your partner is saying to you? Or do you have any niggling doubts?

While he lives somewhere else to make sure this doesn’t happen again

@Doobedobe that's precisely what happened. Without me being there to see it for myself how am I to gauge it. All I know is he was hurt, child left a bruise on him. Child was hurt, but a lot more than him.

I need you to stop and think....you may well end up on the 6 o clock news when your dh kills your child.

You have to be the advocate for your children. You cannot stand by and watch them be hurt by another adult no matter who that is.

You need to walk away from this man and get your child checked out by a medical professional. I am saying this as a social workers although I work with adults you have a duty of care to protect your children. It can be difficult parenting at times and I can say I have never hit or hurt my children. Sounds like he cannot control himself and this isn't an accident get him away from your children and report to the police because children's services will be very concerned that you do not recognise this abuse and in denial, that you are not a protective person for your children and that you did not protect them or get medical support.

How is the child now? You said he was seriously injured?