Is it possible he is tracking my WhatsApp?

[CoolFineDoneWicked]

It's possibly (probably?) coincidence, but two or three times in the past couple of years, my husband has said something very specific that I'd said earlier that day on whatsapp. Both times it was in a chat with my sister, I think.

On each occasion it was when I was relating the whatsapp conversation to my husband that he then said something specific that my sister and I had said to each other in that chat.

I've nothing to hide, so I'm not concerned about him finding out something, and if he is tracking me I can't imagine why - our marriage is fine.

My whatsapp account isn't linked to any other devices but mine, but is it possible for him to somehow be monitoring my phone and / or laptop? I couldn't find anything online that would explain it, and there's nothing I can find in my devices (I'm pretty tech-savvy). Is there some kind of malware that can hide that your account is linked?

He doesn't have any kind of contact with my sister, he hasn't even seen her in years as we live abroad and I tend to visit on my own.

It has to be a coincidence doesn't it? The examples were so specific though.

There are “spy apps” out there. Some can be very well hidden. They are difficult to install on an iPhone but easier on Android.

There are ways to find out; if you search past posts on here it might give you some ideas.

I read, possibly in here, that some people get addicted to spying and will do it even if there are no obvious issue in the relationship.

I wish I had the time 😂

Spyware can be hidden on your phone very easily, or maybe he has cloned your phone. You could take it to any tech shop and ask them to scan your phone for any indication of it being tampered with.

I have an iphone and a macbook.

In that case I would say it’s unlikely but as someone has pointed out above, it may be worth taking it to an expert who can have a look for you?

A possible less scary scenario might be that he is chatting to your sister separately? And that she’s shared the same thing with him?

It could be that he’s looking directly at your phone if you’ve left it somewhere, such as using a shower or something? Just picking it up and having a quick look at your messages.

This did cross my mind too.

Weird. He does work in IT, but if he is spying it's inexplicable. I tell him everything anyway!

Two or three times in a couple of years just sounds like coincidence.

What's that saying "a broken clock is right twice a day" or something like that.

There's zero chance of this, they have no relationship whatsoever. Also, the things were completely unremarkable - not anything that someone would separately mention. E.g. one of them was a throwaway reference to Lord Byron. Specific, but not anything you would remember and then talk about separately. And there was no time in between the whatsapp chat and the conversation with my husband for him to have talked to my sister, even in the bizarro-world scenario that they are mates.

The simplest explanation would be that he knows your iPhone passcode and is looking when you’re busy doing something else.
Not sure why that would be though.
Have you asked him? If your relationship is good you should be able to talk about a ‘strange coincidence’.

I didn’t think that was possible on WhatsApp because of encryption. I am not hugely techy though. My own experience was that OW paired her phone with my husband’s (now ex) so that she could monitor communication between us. He was not allowed to use WhatsApp because she couldn’t track it. Admittedly I’d be uncomfortable with this and would probably get phone checked to be sure.

Oh ok, that makes sense. It does sound like he’s seeing your WhatsApp messages in some way then.

Yes, logically, if it wasn't for the specificity of the situation. Though I suppose it's the specificity that produces the coincidence.

Is it more likely that he knows your pin and snoops on your phone rather than having tracking apps? Change your pin and see if it happens again. Although if he works in IT he will potentially have knowledge of how to get around things. Do you think you're paranoid or are there other reasons you don't trust him?

I did ask him why he mentioned Byron and he just kind of brushed it off, in a way that would be plausible if he wasn't spying.

I can't see that there's much point asking him if he's spying, he's hardly going to admit it.

I know what you mean. Have the chats included photos? I know that WhatsApp is encrypted but I've noticed when I share a photo on WhatsApp and that photo goes into my camera roll, I get ads based on that photo. Sometimes my DH gets ads as well, on the weekend when we're both home using the same WiFi network.

Could it be something like that, based on ads he's seeing?

Can you give an example of how specific - make a similar one up so it’s not outing

I’d also go with coincidence on this. Especially if it’s just something that would flow from what you’ve already said and make a kind of connection in someone’s brain. My husband often comes out with random comments that I was already thinking, just because his brain tends to make the same connections that mine does

Yes, it most likely is this, our brains are very similar.

Maybe I'll come up with some kind of sting operation to test it out.

I'm also going for coincidence. If you've been married a while then the chances are that you both think alike and are prone to saying and thinking the same way in conversations.

I once puzzled a bunch of people when we were watching something with Paul Merton in and I was saying what PM said, only about ten seconds before he came out with it. I am not bugging Paul Merton, we just have similar thought processes.

If you click the three dots then linked devices you can see of your WhatsApp account is logged in elsewhere.

I imagine he simply looked at your phone.

It’s….Rebecca Vardy

Seriously though I’d set a trap