I don’t think it’s a good idea.
However I don’t think people realise how difficult it is to be on your own. No emotional support and no one to give you a hand with a new baby.
My husband left when I was pregnant with our youngest. I had no family around. Friends were lovely but had their own families etc.
I have stayed single until the youngest was 12 and only started seeing the bf a couple of times a week at his house so I’m wasn’t bringing him into my teenagers home although we have been on (disastrous) joint holidays with his children and mine.
Yes it’s the safest thing to stay single but it’s very, very hard emotionally to have no one to talk about your day etc. No one to run to the shop when you all have a sickness bug etc.
No one to help when things break in the house etc.
I think there should be more pressure from people/ society to make the dads actually help and be responsible. Difficult as you can’t force them but people seem to be fine with the fact that the dads have just walked out and don’t see their kids/ barely see their kids. Even if baby was a fling the baby exists so it’s pretty poor that the dad wants nothing to do with them.
If dads had their children 5050 this situation wouldn’t arise in the first place as both of the parents could date in the time they didn’t have the children.
I also think that people that have a partner should be a bit more considerate with those that don’t. Eg saying I’ll pick both kids up from football so you can stay at home with your youngest and my partner can stay at home with our youngest. That never happens. In fact I have found the opposite. People see how much single parents juggle so think they are super capable and end up asking them for help. Like what happens at work when the busiest person gets asked to do more tasks as they are seen as the most efficient.
Loads of benefits of being a single parent but it can’t just be seen as no big deal that someone needs to stay single for 12 years and have no help or support raising a baby/ child.
So yes I would judge and worry about your friends baby but I would also understand.
you could do a Claire’s law request so if he has any history of domestic abuse/ abuse of children it could be disclosed to her.
You could also pick something supportive that you could do but only if you can stick to it. Eg ring me any time day or night if the baby needs medicine/ to go to hospital and I’ll get the medicine/ take you to hospital.
Encourage her to go to baby groups and meet lots of mum friends as she may have less need for a bf if she is getting emotional support from friends.