Are men all the same in every country?

[togo1004]

I’m tired of being treated like a maid. Last relationship my ex expected me to cook and clean like a maid but this new one as well.

i understand he pays our bills but he expects me to cook and clean. He says that relationships should make each other lives more pleasant , not harder.

he complains that since we’ve been together his expenses have gone up 3 times and he’s cleaning and cooking just as much as before.

i told him that I can do more than cook and clean, and his response is “but I need help with cooking and cleaning. I feel resentful if im paying all our bills AND cooking for myself and cleaning more than you”

what should i do here??

Look at this transactionally. You have merged together your resources but don’t want to share your resources anywhere near equally.

You want 100% benefit of his…
He’s contributing 100% vs your 0% of the living costs.
He’s contributing 100% vs your 0% of the food costs

To be fair you are contributing 100% to the fresh cut flowers vs his 0%

You don’t seem to want to balance the scales by doing more than 50:50 of the household chore ‘cost’ (in terms of time etc).

Can you not see why this is unbalanced and will continue to breed resentment? Why should he shoulder all of the burden of the day to day costs so you can save? How does he benefit from that?

Yep, must be. Because according to that big book The Bible - Genesis 1:27

'So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.'

So it doesn't look like it gets any better in heaven (sigh).

Agreed! He could do so much better.

You need to move back in with your parents. You can't expect to live with him and contribute nothing. He's been very tolerant imo. Was it a mutual agreement that wouldn't pay any rent or bills?

Who would be better off if you split ? That should answer that question.

It was mutual because he understood my need to be feel safe. He said that then I need to cook and clean more than he does. Which I initially agreed but I realized that I also work. So how is it fair that when both people work, only 1 person does almost all of housework?

So how is it fair that when both people work, only 1 person pays for all the bills?

But relationships arnt like this. It’s about love and emotions.

he’s also a bit emotionally unavailable. He sighs everytime i want to talk about my feelings. And I asked him why he said that he doesn’t mind from time to time but it’s too often and he feels draineD.

i felt so offended and disrespected.

Because he’s the man and that’s what we agreed on and. I need to feel safe, if he lost his job he would be fine. He has real estate and other things. If I lost my job I’ll be absolutely screwed

OP, I think I recall your previous threads.

So…. he has bought a servant and you have chosen to serve him in exchange for rent and food. I don’t understand why you don’t leave him if you don’t like it (i wouldn’t like it). What country are you in? Why are you asking if all men are the same everywhere?

Because he’s the man?

So you are happy to fall back on the historic trope that a man provides and the woman manages the house, without doing your side?!

I’m in Russia, was living in Asia with my ex fiancé. He was the same way. Because when I was with my ex I couldn’t work due to my panic attacks so he funded us fully. In return he expected me to take care most of the house work.

and I couldn’t because I was in depression and had no energy and he resented me. All he ever talked about in the end was that how he works 16 hours a day and can’t even come home to a warm meal. Why do men from all these countries expect that??

OP's previous posts are eye opening. This is all falling on dead ears. Don't waste your time.

Because you expect as a woman not to contribute financially. That's why they have this expectation of domestic contribution.

They expect a partner to contribute something

Your expectation is that should not have to contribute financially or domestically. Why would they want to be in a partnership with you when you bring nothing to the table?

Is this the same OP who demanded explanations of her DP for talking to himself in the shower? IIRC he was venting safely about her endless demands of him.

Was there also something about needing to feel 'safe' by telling him about her (negative) feelings all the time, requiring specific gifts at specific times, and refusing to eat or drink anything?

It's fascinating, I'll say that.

If you don't want to contribute financially then you need to contribute to the partnership in other ways. Often this is with household management. You can't live off him and give nothing in return.

The opposite is also valid then. You’re the woman, you do the house shit. Or…. You actually find a partner (and you act like one too) rather than someone to look after you. If you’re not his mum to clean after him and cook, he’s not your dad to pay for your stuff and take you out every weekend.

Jackanory time.

Bloody hell, is this car crash still ongoing? You were told on your previous threads that you are properly taking the piss out of this man. And you're still doing it.

You're tapped mate honestly! Why do you keep going for the same guys? How about you up your game and find a extremely wealthy man who will fund you completely and not expect you to clean and cook as he employs a housekeeper and a cook. You could also expect a man with that level of wealth to fund the substantial mental health support you clearly require. Hope this helps 💐

Start paying 50% of the bills and tell him to do half the chores or get a cleaner. You are not his housekeeper.

Or leave and stand on your own two feet.

You are a parasite, your need for feeling safe by hoarding your savings, is not his problem. He doesn't have to provide you with a free life so you can feel safe. It won't last.

Why can't you be independent?

His safety net of rental properties, is there, because he generated it, presumably without leeching off someone else. You need to grow up.

Utter bollocks.
Try harder with your stories OP.

Is there perhaps a lesson in that you were posting very recently about your problems with your ex fiancé and his expectations? Do you ever think that the problem might be you?