Man here but I've got a question

[Ciaran203]

Does your husband/BF does things like washes and irons his own clothes, make himself lunch, do dishes, helps with the dinner etc?

Because when my GF tells her friends/work mates that I do all of that they always call her "lucky" because thier partners dont do that.

I mean we both do all of those things because we’re functional adults lol. But we cook lunches for everybody (batch cooking) same with laundry it’s just all done by whoever needs it

Here’s your medal 🥇

You should have worded your post differently OP.

No, my DH washes both our clothes, makes lunch for the whole family and doesn’t need to ‘help’ me make dinner because he can do it all by himself.

Hubby does that too. All my girlfriends tell me that I am ‘lucky’ too. Male friends look shocked and embarrassed. They tend to change the subject really quickly too. Well done for doing your bit, please do not change. The world needs more man like you.

Love this comment! Really made me laugh

Do you think she is bragging and they are being sarcastic? I can’t imagine telling colleagues about my husband doing mundane household tasks. If someone told me I know I would say “ wow! Give the man a medal”

My mum was one of 4. Of the 4 couples, 2 husbands went to work, came home, watched the telly and told the kids to be quiet. The other two split the load, cleaned, cooked and spent time with the kids. When it came to retirement, it was sad to see two lonely old men sat in front of the TV whilst the rest of the family were in the kitchen helping tidy up and talk with the aunts.

It’s sad to see that my cousins have little time for their dads, but not surprising. Children and family members do see what you do. How can anyone have any respect for someone who watches whilst someone else does all the work?

It’s not a new thing.

All children in our family could do and did all of these things, and more, by the time they were 16 @Ciaran203. All of them. Including the ND children. This isn't some great achievement on your part.

My husband is self sufficient, which btw is the bare minimum required to be an adult.
A lot of men are just overgrown toddlers.
No I don’t feel “lucky” that he’s a functioning adult. I would treat anyone who doesn’t do these things with contempt.

My DH does his own work washing but doesn't need Ironing. Dishwasher. Always cooks on a Friday, Saturday night without fail and always cooks Christmas dinner. We have done this for years.

Probably roughly the same proportion as stay married.

It's hard to continue to fancy a man who behaves like a child.

Washes mine, his and the kids clothes, makes the kids packed lunches, sets the coffee machine going in the morning, walks the kids to school (I have to be at work before 8.30am, he starts later), takes the kids to dance lessons (I’m still at work when they happen and it’s on his day off), does the shopping.

Work in progress, other house work as he’s seemingly blind to mess/cannot seem to do things that aren’t ’imminent’ without very direct instructions (suspect he has ADHD like our son) 😫

@IndiaAutumn 😂

How old are you? I'm a Millennial and if your girlfriend is my age or younger, your post is particularly depressing.

Yes - my longterm ex of over a decade wasn't a little boy when it came to taking care of himself.

He did his own clothes, or we often did it together, I never ironed his (we weren't big into ironing anyway), never made his lunch for work (when I was myself employed full time), he usually did the dishes, and we usually shared dinner making duties.

Although he has other faults, expecting me to be a domestic servant wasn't one of them.

I don't think men deserve medals for just being a functioning adult, but unfortunately, because some men are chauvinists, it does make a lot very average men think they're fucking incredible for just being average.

Be careful you don't abuse that. My ex started to get resentful and increasingly cocky because of it, and I left him as a result. Now both our lives are shattered.

This. I never felt lucky' either because we wouldn't have even been together if he wasn't this.

Jesus. The scraps of decency that some women feel they have to be grateful for.😫

And men wonder why their wives don't fancy them anymore.

He does his own laundry. Neither of us iron.

He does 50% of the housework and probably more cooking than I do because he has more time than I do.

He also does all the mental load stuff when it comes to planning holidays and all his own packing.

We do everything equally. He cleans the kitchen and does 90% of the washing up. I clean the bathroom, utility and the living room. It takes about the same amount of time when you factoring in cleaning surfaces, sweeping and mopping the floor and cleaning the hob. It's quite a big kitchen.

We take it in turns to do stuff like washing and replacing bed linen.

I can't believe I'm actually saying any of this. Of course he does those things. I'm not the only competent adult in the house.

The only thing either of us has sole responsibility for are the garden because he enjoys it and pets because they're mine not ours and he's allergic.

I don't consider myself lucky. But I would consider myself a fool if I'd shacked up with someone who wasn't capable of looking after himself or thought it was my responsibility.

Was never going to happen though. I've been married previously and had other boyfriends/partners and I've never dated a man who was any different. I'm not even sure how so many women have found themselves with useless men because I've never had a relationship with one and I don't generally seem it in my fri3nds' relationships either.

It's a minimum requirement not luck.

Yes he’s a grown man with working limbs. I only iron things that really need it like shirts and cotton that is creased to hell. I do his shorts just because I’m better at ironing but he changes bedding, puts washing on, hangs it to dry, makes dinners etc. we both muck in as we both live here.

I know someone who does all that for her husband and all the housework, cooking etc despite working full time herself

Exactly this.
🙄

My husband is 75.
We do not use an iron, but he does absolutely what he can and has done for 25 years of our marriage.
As I write this stuff, he is repointing a chimney.

When I lose him (I'm thirty years younger), I won't touch another man with a bargepole.
What a ridiculous, stupid post.
They call her lucky. Lucky is when you don't have to bother with a man in your home, me thinks.

Your girlfriend’s friends and workmates must be bizarrely unlucky, for every single one of them to have ended up in relationships with such absolute manbabies. Of course my husband can use a washing machine, iron his own clothes, make himself some lunch, and prepare an evening meal. He’s an adult.

My children can do most of this stuff already, I can’t imagine how any woman could ever be attracted to a grown man who can’t (or won’t).

Yes he does, he's a househusband and I'm the breadwinner. Even when he was working he still pulled his weight around the house. That was one of the things I found attractive about him, he doesn't play the domestic incompetence card which, to me, is deeply unattractive.

My partner does loads, we are equals.

I’m not lucky, I just don’t live with a lazy prick.

There is absolutely nothing I do in our house that DH cannot/does not do, in some cases better than me. That has been a godsend over the years, to have a partner able, willing and expecting a full partnership for childcare and home care.
Although we teamed up in life very early so we kind of made up the rules ourselves, both determined to live differently to our parents, and without previous relationships that might have tainted our ideas.

Instead of trying to be a smart ass, maybe you should have actually read his original post.

He wasn't looking for congratulations for doing housework. Clearly, he's surprised that his girlfriend's friends' partners supposedly don't do any housework, and he's looking for confirmation that this is actually true.

If a group of women told me that their boyfriends and husbands don't do any housework, I would also be very surprised and I would have difficulty accepting it as true.

For me, I could not possibly imagine why any woman would select a partner who does not do housework.

You fall in love before you live together and realise they don't pull their weight
Then it's annoying. Wouldn't make same mistake again though