My husband has always had a bad temper and been the shouty type. We’ve had more than our fair share of rough times in the marriage but I’ve been sticking it out. However, the last couple of months I have finally been getting the courage or gumption to realise that, for my teen kids’ sake if not my own, I can’t tolerate it anymore. But I have not known where to start. I talked to the police after he took all my stuff (jewellery, clothes) while the kids and I were away and they advised a protection order so that if anything happened again, I could call them and they would arrest him but the process was daunting to me and did not feel like the right step.
Anyway, yesterday he was already in bad form and I got a little scrape on the car, told him about it, he got angry, saying I was a dangerous driver and he would sell the car and take the keys. He was telling me to sit down (I had gone to finish up some work at my desk, he came in to demand the keys, I stood up) and I told him not to tell me what to do. Then he slapped me hard in the face. He said I was being aggressive (I was resisting giving him the keys and was shouting…understandably) and should not get in his face. Even when my daughter came down, he was saying I was aggressive etc. We told him to leave which he was doing anyway and she said she would call police. She did not but I did. He has been reported and I believe has received a caution which was my preference. He did a sort-of apology (said he regretted it but don’t think he actually said sorry to me) and has said he will be sleeping in spare room from now on.
has anyone ever had the experience of something like this being a wake up call for the abuser and being able to slowly mend?
know this is long but it’s a lot to be taking in!