Girls trips

[Buddah07]

Hi I have been discussing with my husband about a girls trip but he isn’t happy about it and is saying I’m taking the piss as I already have 2 holidays with other girls booked one holiday is with our daughter also. He won’t give any other reason and we do have holidays booked together as a couple also. He got defensive and said you do want you want to do and also said illl have my money you have yours and don’t want to talk about it is this controlling and gaslighting? Thank you for reading

Sounds like a two year old having a tantrum.

So 4 holidays in total with your friends?

Sorry but what on earth age are you? If you are "girls" are you old enough to go away on your own?
And if you are a " girl" how come you have a husband? Are you from a culture that allows child marriage?

You already have 2 holidays booked with friends? Then yes that’s a lot, not just money but means you are using precious annual leave too, time you could spend together. One trip a year is fine but 3???

Wow!!

Yes be 4

I think 4 trips away without him is a lot, tbf. How many does he have planned without you?

None as he doesn’t have friends

Well your DH isn’t the unreasonable one is he ? How would you feel if he also booked 4 holidays away with his friends .

Need more info to comment.
What’s the usual arrangement for trips and holidays?
How’s the money situation?
Does he get the chance to go away too? What’s he like usually?

on the face of it, trips away with friends are fine as long as they’re not detrimentally affecting family finances or means you can’t also do family trips.

I do lots of stuff with friends.

How do your trips away affect family finances and annual leave?

How old are your children and who looks after them when you’re away on your jollies ?

Finances are good, children are older so can look after themselves. Normally ok about it. He can go if he likes but he hasn’t anyone to go with! I love to travel and have holidays booked with him too!! When I ask about us booking another holiday he turns it down

Grow up honestly im a grown woman and i still say im a girl became i am im just an adult girl = woman.
Im off out with the girls tonight girl holiday etc.
Not womans holiday im of out with the women tonight.
Uncluch ya self.

Then he seems unreasonable.

If he had equal opportunity to go away and it doesn’t impact family finances then he needs to explain what the issue is.

Understanding what his objection really is will help sort this out. He doesn’t get to block what you do because he doesn’t have friends himself.

He needs to explain what he means by “taking the piss”.

Your DH could go away by himself. Plenty of people do.

To be fair I love to travel and my DP doesn’t so girls holidays are a godsend but 4 seems quite a lot in one year.

New level of pettiness 😂

I say go and enjoy the girls holiday and enjoy the rest of them as well.
As long as ther is a plan for the kids why not.
If your husband wants to go on holiday on his own 3 or 4 times on his own or when he makes friends.
Then let him go and have fun just like you did.
Just remembered when he says hes doing it remember you did as well.

He just dismisses it and will not talk about it. I understand if I don’t want to go away with him or didn’t have anything booked.
I’ve asked what do you mean I’m taking the piss he then says how would you feel if I went away I said you’ve never asked as you don’t have people to go with. Plus I’d let him as long as me and him were having holidays etc. he just said do what you want

Ive been on 5 so far next one in December.
Lifes to short.

How much time do these trips take up?
I think broadly he's being ridiculous, but I also think if DH was constantly wanting to go off and do holidays with othe rpeople I'd also get upset. 4 weekends a year... probably fine. 4 weeks a year... less so.

It also depends why he resents it. Is it because you're off spending all this time elsewhere and will be missing things at home or not spending time with him? Or is it that he thinks you're on the piss with the girls and picking up men? I possibly (depending on situation) have some sympathy with the former, zero with the latter.

Well perhaps if OP regarded herself as a woman - you know an adult - and talked about herself as such then she might get treated as such.
Talking about yourself as thought you are a child allows men and society to devalue women as being of less importance.
I find it quite ironic to be told to " grow up" by someone who still thinks of themselves as a " girl".

A woman is still a girl.

Life is way to short i agree.