Girls trips

[Buddah07]

Hi I have been discussing with my husband about a girls trip but he isn’t happy about it and is saying I’m taking the piss as I already have 2 holidays with other girls booked one holiday is with our daughter also. He won’t give any other reason and we do have holidays booked together as a couple also. He got defensive and said you do want you want to do and also said illl have my money you have yours and don’t want to talk about it is this controlling and gaslighting? Thank you for reading

I do see of from his point of view on a deeper level - 4 times is quite a lot so it’s the message it sends. He’s probably sees it as him not coming first and you want to spend more time with friends than him. Him not having friends probably bothers him more than he wants to admit. If he doesn’t want to go away, are there other new things you can do with him? Or can you organise more holiday with other couples or families that include him.

it sounds as though he is resentful about the fact you have a vibrant friendship group and he doesn’t. Has he sacrificed his friendships over the years to support you? Has he moved away from friends and family so you can live with yours?

I’m all in favour of trips with friends - I think it’s healthy. But 4 in a year is rather a lot.

Seriously if you haven’t got anything nice to say then please don’t say anything. I’m asking for advice about a situation not about if I’m a girl or a grown woman. What happen to girls supporting girls or in your terms woman supporting woman does it really matter if I put girl or woman.

please kindly do one

It is so go live it.
Your kids are at an age to look after themselves.
Fuck what others have to say irl or on mn most are surviving but not really living.
Im one that wants to live not just survive.

No one has any sympathy for a bloke going on 4 trips with mates leaving wife alone with kids at home.

How long are these trips? Similar to what others have said he’s probably a bit jealous of your social life if he doesn’t have much of one

No it doesn’t! Plenty of people call adults girls/boys. Often it’s a boys trip or a girls lunch or whatever.

He just sounds jealous OP. Could you ask him - well if I stay home that week what shall we do?! See what he says!

👏

Dont feed the beast she sounds a bit clunched jealous maybe she doesn't have a social life herself.

My son went on a lads holiday last year sorry mans holiday.
I had a lunch with the girls sorry woman lunch yesterday and have a planned girls sorry woman's trip for December.
Some just like to pick when they have nothing going on in their own lifes.
Sad really.

If you actually keep an ear out for it, men are rarely called boys. Boys' night out, boys' trip only really. Women are called girls a lot. It is infantalising.

No, she isn't. Women and girls are both female. Girls are under 18, women are 18 and over.

Ignore all the people being mean because you refer to your trips as girls trips.
It doesn’t matter! It’s such a trivial thing to get upset about.
If they don’t want to refer to themselves as girls that’s fine, but if you’re happy then continue to do so.
Your DH is probably feeling envious as he doesn’t have people to go away with apart from you. I can empathise, but he needs to accept that fact instead of being a stick in the mud.
Whatever you do, please don’t let his moods stop you from going. It’s his problem not yours.
My MIL missed out on so much when her DH was alive as he never wanted to feel left out and was a needy so and so. She couldn’t do much with friends and certainly never went away with them. It was sad to see.

Er no you can't be both a women and a girl. They have mutually exclusive definitions. That said I think we all know that the OP is talking the quaint reference to "girls trips" for adults rather than leading holiday clubs for teenagers

Good god what as the world become when a woman cant say she's a girl.

If you have the money and the kids are older then he is being unreasonable.

@Buddah07

I am all for time away as an individual but this seems way too much to me.

You people do exist i thought it was just in books.
Im a grown woman but im still a girl.
How as the world come to this.
WOMEN CANT BE GIRLS.
But men can be women.

I do feel for him and totally understand but if it was the other way round then I’d only have myself to blame for not building friendships and living my life. One of the holidays as I’ve said is with our daughter who is 20 and we have a son who is 18 I’ve said book some holidays with him. I asked him to go away around the same time he said no now he’s getting mad because the girls have asked me to go and I have a few different girl groups so makes it harder. Now the kids are older it’s time for me and for him but we all do need our friends

Its his own fault then you have given him opportunities.

You people do exist i thought it was just in books.

No, they pop up with tedious regularity on MN whenever anybody refers to any female over the age of 18 as a girl

No men can't be women. You seem very cross about the idea of people growing up. Are you Peter Pan?

Evidently, you have never been to Wales.

No im tinker bell.

Im not cross infact im having fun with this.
Women cant possibly be girl thats funny.

I love that you find science funny.