Girls trips

[Buddah07]

Hi I have been discussing with my husband about a girls trip but he isn’t happy about it and is saying I’m taking the piss as I already have 2 holidays with other girls booked one holiday is with our daughter also. He won’t give any other reason and we do have holidays booked together as a couple also. He got defensive and said you do want you want to do and also said illl have my money you have yours and don’t want to talk about it is this controlling and gaslighting? Thank you for reading

🎶I'm not a girl.... Not yet a woman... 🎶

Go on your girls trips OP stuff everyone else and the pedants.

I have two little kids 5 and 3 and I have been on many trips away this year with friends - so has DH with his mates - it's nice to do things with your friends. Your DH is being a misery because you are getting to go away and have fun and he has no mates - which is not your fault or your problem.

I often hear men call themselves (and other men) boys, FWIW.

Boys' night out / night out with the boys is definitely something I hear a fair bit.

Slightly more equal? Slightly less patriarchal?

Well lets be honest its not science really is it.
Women are girls we are just the adult one's.
Then we get to about 70 we call ourselves lady's.
Unless you my nan at 91 that still says let us girls sort this.

Nah I'd be pissed if my husband went away on 4 holidays without me tbh! 4 is too much

Why is this thread being detailed with terminology?

I'm sure we can all recognize that people may use terms interchangeably even if the definitions aren't literally correct. At the end of the day, it doesn't make a difference to the OP's situation how she describes herself and her friend group, so policing the way she speaks is useless and unkind.

I'm all for getting away with your friends, but I do think 4 times in a year is excessive and I can see why your DH feels a bit put out

That said, how long are these trips? I'll go out with friends and stay at a their place or hotel about once a month. For only 1 night 1 wouldn't count that as a "trip" but realise others might

Yes, I'm saying that you often hear men say boys' night out and boys trip. Outside of a few stock phrases, you rarely hear men referred to as boys the same way women are called girls.'

MN is a bit obsessed with using girls instead of women. It’s a term of endearment. A bit of fun, for goodness sake!
I have grown up children. What should I call them, as they’re clearly not children anymore? I ask my friend, who has 4 grown children,
”how are the girls?” What else can I use?
“how are the offspring”

Ha ha, it literally is science. The difference in terms used to describe an adult, and child female. Maybe your happy with the world referring to the "girls in accounts", or the "checkout girls", lets keep women in their place.

My nan says us old girls will deal with this she's 91.
My sister has 2 adult daughters one with kids of her own i say the same this hows the girls.

How much time do you spend hanging around with men?

What is his actual problem? Is it financial? How do you split finances?

Is it because you have a history of being untrustworthy?

Is it because he has to cook his own dinner and wash his own pants whilst you’re away?

Or is it because he’s a fun sucking sponge?

Enough to know that when they refer to the "girl on reception" it isn't really a term of respect, or endearment, it is about showing that she has little status. .

Unclunch and live a little you need fun.
We know what we are but we are still girls.
This as been fun hope we meet again on a different thread.

Oh I see, sorry, I misread / misunderstood

Hes a fun sucking sponge.

But not enough to know how frequently they refer to themselves as boys.

I can see this from both sides. It's great to have friends you can go away with, and I encourage anyone to do that if they can. But I wouldn't be happy if my husband was spending significant amounts on jollies if, for example, we still had years left on the mortgage or we didn't have enough in savings.

I suppose what I'm wondering is - what's the impact on your family finances? What would be different for everyone if you didn't spend so much on holidays? Genuine questions, I obviously have no idea of your wider circumstances.

I pay all the house bills he pays for holidays, shopping days out takeaways etc. I hat ever I have left I spend on which ever I like. He either saves or helps out with extra spends if needed for the children.
no never been untrustworthy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m at a different stage in life now the children are older and I just want to enjoy life I have a very stressful job and enjoy socialising he doesn’t much.

I'm not sure why, but after reading everything you've wrote about him, I kinda feel sorry for him.

So here's the thing - what's on offer at home if you don't go out/away with the girls? A week or weekend sat in front of the telly? Apart from the non-holidays, what do you do together which would make you want to spend that time with him?

Yes but if we are happy to refer to ourselves as girls then let sleeping dogs lie.
We’re happy so let us do us and you do you. Stop telling us what we should be referring to ourselves as. It’s totally none of your business

That's a bit strong for Pedant's Corner.

No problem kid, we'll let you get on with it.