Girls trips

[Buddah07]

Hi I have been discussing with my husband about a girls trip but he isn’t happy about it and is saying I’m taking the piss as I already have 2 holidays with other girls booked one holiday is with our daughter also. He won’t give any other reason and we do have holidays booked together as a couple also. He got defensive and said you do want you want to do and also said illl have my money you have yours and don’t want to talk about it is this controlling and gaslighting? Thank you for reading

Good good 👍

Really he sounds like a boring miserable old man.
Op has adult kids and all her freedom back no debt and opportunities to have carefree fun.
Why not she deserves it.
If he wants to sit around and sulk instead if making new mates building friendships and turn down opportunits thats on him.
When our kids become adults we dont just stop and shrink up.
We live and do things we couldn't do.

That’s so helpful! You’ve really got to the heart of the matter here!

I would be a bit grumpy if my DH used all his annual leave going away without me.

Oh don't be ridiculous.

have you ever met a guy who has a womanfriend? No. It's girlfriend.

do you fancy going on a womenstrip?
ever gone to a fancy dress party as a cowwoman? No. Cowgirl.

it's a well used figure of speech and you know it. But you decided to pick up on the fact the OP said she's going on a 'girls trip' out of the whole post.

stop being difficult.

But I don't think your DH is unreasonable. 4 trips is a lot

I know right!

I had a banging shag last night, 4 hours of reverse cowwoman.

yeah this is bollocks.

boys night, boys holiday, BOYFRIEND, all common words that are used.

When you say 'older children' do you mean adults? Or are they still in school/at home and needing some supervision even if not childcare?

Also, he doesn't have any friends? Just to go on holidays with or at all?

I think you need a proper chat with your partner to figure out where his reluctance is coming from. If this is holiday number 3? 4? without him - he may have some (legitimate) grounds for annoyance there. At the very least you don't sound compatible. He doesn't sound controlling or gaslighting (these words are overused!), just annoyed.

Is he older than you?
Threads like this make me so pleased I always treated my friends as a priority even when I had dc and they were little, I always had a weekend or two away with them every year and it was lovely to cut loose and be an adult from time to time. Dh also did the same but with his friends.
Still do the same now, but more like 2 long weekends a year. Dh doesn’t do it so much anymore as he’s less inclined to bother but if he ever threw a strop about me going without a solid reason I’d be livid. A proper reason I could think of might be something along the lines of if we hadn’t had a holiday together that year and I was planning yet another girls trip.
Just fucking go op, enjoy life.

Assuming each holiday is a few days or a week rather than 2+ weeks then go and enjoy yourself! I’d be more bothered about the fact DH had no friends! Why is that? He sounds hard to live with…

Assuming each holiday is a few days or a week rather than 2+ weeks then go and enjoy yourself! I’d be more bothered about the fact DH had no friends! Why is that? He sounds hard to live with…

Tbh reading this op I feel a bit sorry for him.

If it was only one or two trips a year I could see the controlling thing being a fair criticism of him, but at what point is he able to feel it's quite a lot and say so?

He might miss you.

I am not happy with women being called girls. Many, many women aren't.

How is it not my business? I am a woman.

Erm yes. They are the examples I'm using. I'm saying that EXCEPT for a few set phrases (like the ones I mentioned), men are rarely called boys where women are called girls. At work, does anyone ever say "go and ask the boy in accounts"? For example.

Like I said earlier, you have evidently never spent any time in Wales.

He’s 3 years older than me. He’s very laid back loves to be at home on his PlayStation lol where I love to be out or travelling. We have a holiday soon just us have been away 2 times already this year together also have 1 booked next year just us two. I don’t really know why he doesn’t have friends. He does go out with his dad and brothers now and again and few family friends but nothing like us girls do. We do spend a lot of time together but I also spend time with friends. He prioritises gym over most things. I just don’t want to upset him

Op i get it, this new chapter comes along out of the blue,
We spend bloody years bringing up our children, planning, arranging, after school clubs, weekends football, dance, swimming lessons, yes now your offsprings are more independent of you, you have found time for you, trips here and there, extra money, yes its a wonderful time, I do wonder if he hasn't realised this time has come, he really does need to embrace it op, you both could have some fabulous ( us) time now, hobbies, eg,

Some couples get to this point without making plans or putting effort in as its so different from the plodding along looking after the children putting their needs first, this is your time and h now,

You need a conversation with him op, make plans each week, dates, long walks with a picnic, I don't know, but I do know this chapter hits us in the face , we have to embrace it, I hope h sees it from your point of view, I honestly think he hasn't prepared himself or you both for this time,

Yes of enjoy your break away, but h has to see that this is a new chapter for you both,

Op i get it, this new chapter comes along out of the blue,
We spend bloody years bringing up our children, planning, arranging, after school clubs, weekends football, dance, swimming lessons, yes now your offsprings are more independent of you, you have found time for you, trips here and there, extra money, yes its a wonderful time, I do wonder if he hasn't realised this time has come, he really does need to embrace it op, you both could have some fabulous ( us) time now, hobbies, eg,

Some couples get to this point without making plans or putting effort in as its so different from the plodding along looking after the children putting their needs first, this is your time and h now,

You need a conversation with him op, make plans each week, dates, long walks with a picnic, I don't know, but I do know this chapter hits us in the face , we have to embrace it, I hope h sees it from your point of view, I honestly think he hasn't prepared himself or you both for this time,

Yes of enjoy your break away, but h has to see that this is a new chapter for you both,

I haven't. But neither is Wales the entire english-speaking world.

My Dh is the same. He’s a home bird. Loves nothing more than doing a new set of Lego, doing a workout in his gym or gaming. I prefer to be out.
I go away with the girls a few times a year. He doesn’t go away with his mates, it’s just not the norm in his friend group and it’s probably because nobody can be arsed organising.

I very much doubt you have visited the entire English speaking world outside Wales either.

Excuse me, I think you mean CowProfessional.

Well, in fact, yes.. it's used at my work.
'Can you go and ask the boys to send over the quotes.'

there is a high cupboard with stationary in that I cannot reach. I will go and 'ask one of the boys.'

if someone said to me 'this is my womanfriend' I would laugh in their face.

I might give the FlyingWoman a go tonight. With a side of canine doggy..