Husband put me on trial

[lisa299]

We live with the in-laws and going to move out soon with my husband and we had a random conversation and there he said ‘when we move out I’m gonna buy cheap furniture in the beginning in case we don’t work out’. Meaning his gonna see how we’re gonna get along together without a 3rd person around and test if we will last and then his gonna invest. We’ve been together for 3 years and had ups and downs and sometimes our downs were due to 3rd person’s but again it was mainly his attitude towards me that fuelled my energy and now due to our past his put me on a trial and his been thinking about this for a while now and I don’t know how I feel anymore. Like how do I react to this, I feel unsafe etc all these negative feelings. Then he comes and tries to say don’t worry we’re good now, I love you etc but I somehow feel broken and he doesn’t understand this. I can’t interpret my feelings. Please helpppppp

You might like to get your work applications checked before you submit them. I know you're rightly relaxed about grammar on here, but it wouldn't hurt to get a formal application thoroughly checked.

I think you both need marriage counselling and I think you need some counselling on your own and help to find a job. I know it's not easy to find this kind of support but look for charities that might support women in your situation like this one..https://www.roshnighar.org.uk/sahara-counselling/

This!
Get a job, it will make you more independent and able to make choices for yourself.

@Catsknowbest

There is a huge difference between your husband, and the Op's husband who put his name down 10 years ago when he was a single working young man with no family.
Down here there would be no chance of him ever getting somewhere.
He would need to have some type of need and it wouldn't be a house, it would be a bedsit.

However it does sound like it could be deliberate overcrowding if by the Op moving in, voluntarily upon marriage, that the in laws are now over crowded.

Why did the op and her husband find a property to rent as a newly married couple.

Are you sure you will get a council house? Aren't you low priority unless you have children? Even if family evict you in my area it's going to be a B&B

OK so social housing is means tested of course, disabled, vulnerable, families with children are priorities and so they should, but fully independent working/ unemployed are also entitled to housing too, way down the pecking order of course, you waited your turn, you bid, most of the time there's 300 already bidded for that one property,

Pp on here saying ' why don't they privately rent ' wow have you seen how much these landlords charge and can give you 2 months notice to move out because they now want to sell, honestly pp its ewful, with children getting a notice to move out, children's schools, looking for somewhere else decent to rent whilst worrying how long that will be for,
I rented for 5 years then got a months notice as wanting to sell, this was over Xmas too, trying to find another rental was a nightmare, our rent was £ 1400 a month, CT £ 175, yes not cheap by not means, both working,

Anyways second rental around same price, lasted 7 years until again landlord wanted to sell, but 3 months notice this time, so yes I registered with council housing, we had to provide id of employment, and 2 proof of being British at the time, yes we got our home, we work full time, we waited 13 years for this property,

But please think about when asking op about privately renting because its not that easy or affordable and you don't get long term plans as they can ask you to move out at any point, living with the uncertainty is very frightening,

so two full time working adults with no children and no health conditions got a council house?

Yes, it happens. Some regions have better availability than others. Registering and bidding for ten years is a wise strategy if you aim to secure social housing.

This thread's being derailed by all the housing outrage! Please remember that social housing SHOULD be available to everyone who wants it. That was the original concept, and it still is in theory. The Thatcher government deliberately reduced the supply, in a bid to get everybody owing money to banks instead of enjoying the universal right to an adequate home. It worked - but that doesn't mean we should accept the view that this is not a right, but a scarce resource for the desperate. Wouldn't you rather see availability restored?

It's incidental to OP's relationship problem, anyway.

I was asking a question

so you and your husband at the time you were given a council house were both in full time employment; no children; no health conditions?

Thats what the poster said. Whether or not you agree, they met the criteria. People also need to stop saying "council house." I grew up in real council housing (a tower block) LA housing rarely exists now. The social housing we have through HAs comes in many cases with stricter restrictions, some now 5 year leases (not all- some) I think if we followed the German housing system we'd be better off. They don't believe in mortgages for all, in fact they think we are all a bit strange aspiring to it. They have social housing based on need and it is assessed periodically to ensure stock is being allocated to the right need at the right time of someone's life. But then they also look after their pensioners better than we do as well.