Did you do 'checks' on a new boyfriend? (Eg disclosure schemes)

[GreyCarpet]

I didn't.

I've had cause to check someone before (not someone I was dating) and work in a safeguarding role so I'm not oblivious but I'd known him for several years as a friend and wouldn't have dated him if I'd felt the need to check.

He asked me outright a couple of weeks ago if I had (we were discussing the case which brought about Claire's Law). I was a bit surprised by the question, tbh.

And he seemed quite surprised that I hadn't but accepted that I wouldn't have dated him if I'd thought I had any reason specifically to do so. He'd assumed I just would have done given the level of violence against women and children.

I just wondered if it was something many women did really.

@Mrsttcno1 hasn’t been back so hopefully means that she now understand that she was wrong and will stop spouting this crap

My views on the people spouting that would likely get my post deleted. Perhaps best to assume hanlon's razor.

I did exactly this and received a response 4 days later. I had no concerns about my partner, simply did the check as a formality. Police person who phoned me to confirm all clear said its a shame More people don't do a background check Before it gets to the stage of being worried about a partner having criminal history.
I wouldn't recruit someone without checking references just because they seemed nice and said all the right things at interview.

After recently starting to date again I have made it a rule for myself to always do a Claire’s law check on anyone who I start to date more regularly.

A month into dating someone, and I submitted the request about 2 weeks ago.

He has done absolutely nothing to make me believe there’s something to be worried about, but if the service is there why wouldn’t you use it?! Especially if children are involved. I’d encourage anyone to do the same.

What would happen if a man wanted to do a check on a woman?

I assume you’d just ask the police in the same way?

I always do.

Yes a man can do a check on a woman exactly the same way through Claire's Law. Same sex partners can too.

@IShouldNotCoco

Please come back and clarify
Are you saying that every man you have a romantic relationship with you submit a Clare’s request despite presumably at least sometimes not having any concerns whatsoever about the boyfriend in question, and you get a response?

For a Clare’s request to even be considered you have to have concerns

so you lied?

This is utter bollox

Strange thing to say and incredibly rude. I have absolutely no reason to make up what I've said. Speak to Greater Manchester Police if you don't believe me.. Up to you.

So take us through

you submitted your clare’s law request
you were honest and said you had absolutely no concerns but were curious
4 days later, the police called you and said…. All good?

yes?

@Chilliprawnpls speak to the police in my area too. They actually volunteered to check for me.

Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying! :) Apologies is that wasn't clear enough in my earlier post.

In the online request they ask why you want to do the check. I explained that whilst I had absolutely no reason to suspect my partner of anything, I was a survivor of previous domestic violence and also have a child to protect. The police respected this and still did the check for me. I submitted it online on a Friday evening and had a phone call from the police on the Tuesday, saying all us clear and that they wish more women were sensible enough to run checks as a precaution.

I work for the police. I expect every police force have slightly different processes around Claire's law requests. In my force, after the application is made, an officer will look at the details of the subject, if it's obvious there's nothing relevant then they will call the person who made the application pretty quickly to confirm that.

If there is relevant info then this will take a bit more time as all the records need to be read thouraly and decisions need to be made on what to disclose. A preprepared statement will be written by the disclosure officer. The person who made the application will have that statement read to them (by an officer at a police station, or if that's not safe another location, sometimes other aligned professionals can deliver the statement such as a social worker in specific cases).

The statement won't include lots of details, but just enough information to give a warning if needed.

I don't work for the department that does Claire's Law, but often read the applications and responses as part of my job and some applications have strong, obvious reasons, some it's "just in case" or the they have a feeling. All are treated the same.

@texmex243 How would it work, practically and logistically, if all women requested these checks for every man they go on a date with, as suggested on this thread? The notion that we can all casually request this for every man without cause (other than wanting to ‘make sure’) is not what is stated on government websites and relevant legislation around this, including privacy laws.

You were a rape victim with a liaison officer.

Well the police completely and utterly ignored the very basic premise of Clare’s law. It’s not a free for all.

I suspect we aren’t getting the full picture with some of these posts.

Indeed

so the examples of posters just asking for a background check out of curiosity is… 🤔

And your point is?

Completely different scenario to just being curious!

As a mother of a young child and a previous victim of domestic violence, the police have taken my request seriously enough and I’m very grateful for that. And at no point have I had to lie.

I believe the ‘right to know’ and ‘right to ask’ is what is facilitating this.

I find it utterly bizarre that people would be so riled and offended by anyone (male or female) taking steps as soon as possible to prevent them from being the victim of a crime.

Each to their own, but I know I’ll do what I can to protect me and mine