Photo posted of children without my consent

[OneCalmReader]

Hi,
I recently posted about my Narcissistic MIL. She had got angry about me not posting a photograph of her hijacking my two DDs first look at my wedding. She ruined part of my day by sabotaging a first look between my DDs and she can’t seem to understand why I am upset about it and she decided to call me horrible names and say things to belittle me.
Well, yesterday she changed her profile photo on Facebook to the photo I never wanted to post. It wasn’t supposed to happen and she had access to it from a private album of our wedding photos. Where do I stand with this? I have reported it to Facebook for violating my privacy as I haven’t given her consent to post an image of myself and my children, but I haven’t heard anything back yet. I’m just not sure how to take further action.

Are you saying that some couples engage a photographer to be present whilst their child is being born?

Jesus Christ. Sounds like the sort of things 12 year olds fall out over.

I can not understand people who plaster images of themselves left, right and centre on every internet site possible and then go crazy when someone else puts one up. Especially when you appear to have given the person access.

I think you need to get out of your own head here- you aren’t an influencer, a brand, a celebrity or a model at work. Your MIL is a member of your family. You need to at least try to maintain a civil relationship with her and she’s not broken any laws here. If you must, ask her to change the pic, but I’d probably ignore it and wait for her to change it anyway. And stop all this first look bollocks and obsessing over Facebook, it’s a waste of time and is setting your DD a poor example.

Wtaf?

✋🏻

What a load of Instagram worthy bollocks.

Why don't you just admit that you don't like your MIL instead of causing drama over a photograph?

Just forget the whole thing. But your husband needs to have a strong word with his mum about not putting pics of his kids on the internet for safety reasons.

I would think there are bigger issues to fall out over than a single photo. If you allowed her access to an album it ceased to be private. Does your dh think it such a big deal?

I think it is an ultrasound of the woman’s ovary and Fallopian tube as the egg exits merged with a tasteful shot of the man’s perfectly groomed testicles , sort of misty and soft focus.

Wow, Mumsnet is full of nasty people judging the OP.
Many brides have first looks, (even I did and I got married in 2000) many brides have content creators. It’s the joy of weddings now

get your dh to tell her to take the photo down now, block her on all social media and do not allow her access to any of your photos.

keep reporting it to Facebook.

This can’t be real

And you're old enough to get married?

"Wedding photography is an art and it can take between 6-8 weeks to receive your beautiful photos. With our service, you can relive a taste of your special day within 24 hours."

AKA. what we do is not an art

Are you seriously suggesting that people want photos of their children actually being born rather than a couple nice snaps once the baby has been cleaned and wrapped up? I can’t think of many more gruesome things quite honestly. The first photo that was taken of my husband holding our daughter a few minutes after she had been born is really precious but if a stranger had been in the room taking photos of her being pulled from my vag with a giant sink plunger I would have made sure he/she suffered just as much pain as I was in!

Thank you for the explanation. I’m in awe of anyone who thinks they are so lovely that they get someone in to look at them in a white frock like it’s a special thing. What are they going to say? You look shit. No they’ll plaster on a smile and ooh and aah whatever they think. How do you do it with a straight face or not with the thought at the back of your mind that they are just bulshitting you? Your husband/wife I can understand but little kids just like party frocks so they are an easy audience. You could be dressed in a Disney outfit for all they care.

I would love to have so much confidence, well it’s not confidence is it - be so self absorbed rather than self effacing.

I read your original OP. Why on earth would you post (even privately) on FB if you didn't want your MIL to get access? In the grand scheme of things, it seems so trivial a thing to let eat you up to this extent.
Private is private, FB is not, surely you knew that and the 'first look' compared to the celrbration of a marriage, really isn't something to be this upset about. A different perspective (and counselling) might help.
I was very fortunate to see one af my adult DC marry (I have a life limiting condition). I feel beyond blessed to have lived to see such a precious day.

But we don’t know it’s without their fathers consent.

All the rest of your post is batshit Americanised nonsense!

The daughters would know nothing about first looks, this was put in their heads by OP no doubt.

What, by entering the room? Get over yourself.

This is a ridiculous idea. Mother either having had a long labour or heavily anaesthetised, father quite possibly traumatised, medical staff trying to do their job and see to the newborn/ mum, baby looking pretty dodgy in most cases and someone thinks a photographer is a sensible addition. Does the NHS even allow this? If I was a midwife/ doctor I’d tell them to get lost. And what if something goes wrong? Far better to do a nice shoot at home once everyone’s recovered a bit and the baby looks less like a shrivelled cucumber.

Comment of the entire thread - although there’s been loads of great ones 😂😂😂😂
The whole thing sounds batshit crazy to me 😂😂

She blocked her last week…..

According to her previous post.

That’s so weird.

How many birthing units allow professional photographers?

Snap.

I would never share or post a photo of a bride before she has put her own photos online.. I thought that was rule #1 for anyone with an ounce of common sense and decency. Same with newborns and 'firsts' for any person. I'm not particularly bothered with SM myself but I just wouldn't do it.

Not sure whst a first look is 🤷‍♀️ but FB won’t get involved in family squabbles. Unfriend her if it bothers you.