Photo posted of children without my consent

[OneCalmReader]

Hi,
I recently posted about my Narcissistic MIL. She had got angry about me not posting a photograph of her hijacking my two DDs first look at my wedding. She ruined part of my day by sabotaging a first look between my DDs and she can’t seem to understand why I am upset about it and she decided to call me horrible names and say things to belittle me.
Well, yesterday she changed her profile photo on Facebook to the photo I never wanted to post. It wasn’t supposed to happen and she had access to it from a private album of our wedding photos. Where do I stand with this? I have reported it to Facebook for violating my privacy as I haven’t given her consent to post an image of myself and my children, but I haven’t heard anything back yet. I’m just not sure how to take further action.

No one is triggered, it’s just that it’s a self-obsessed pile of shite.

First look… 🤮

Also doesn’t fix that he calls you a slag, as PP has said.

It all sounds a bit OTT. Have you asked your MIL to take the photo off Facebook? She probably thought it was a nice photo but daft to use it as a profile photo given it is of you and your DDs. I personally wouldn’t make a big deal out of it though. Why does it matter so much to you? The day has been and gone, you got your photos and MIL has just expressed her liking for one in particular. Can’t you take it as a compliment or hide her profile?

Your being a drama lama

MIL is narcissistic when you’re going on about “First Look” and content creators? 🤣

First look has been a normal thing in US weddings for years. Usually it is the Father of the bride first in the room where the bride got ready so the Mum is there. Separately the groom also has a first look at his bride and they then have a private moment before the wedding starts and everyone sees the dress. In OP's case she has daughters and they wanted a first look.

There are some very beautiful co-ordinated photographs of things like first looks and the same when people give birth too. Judge all you want but most people only imagine getting married once. I had 2 photographers for my wedding, one for me and one for Dh to capture getting ready as well as different angles at the church.

The MIL in this case has posted images of children without their Mother's consent.

Ive some heard some stories about precious brides but this is ridiculous. Why can’t people enjoy family moments without their social media accounts ruling everyone’s lives, it’s actually quite scary.

Indeed I say!

Content Creator. End of.

Your MIL walked into a room against your wishes is what I got.

Did that not create content? Who got the first look of that?

I don’t hugely understand all the first look stuff either, but it’s clear that your MIL hijacked a personal moment which she should not have been a part of, got it captured on camera, got annoyed that you did not publicly show this photo (because you didn’t like it), got her hands on the photo, and is now displaying it as her Facebook profile photo.

so yes, she sounds like an arsehole and I would be angry.

what can you do about the photo? Nothing. Facebook won’t care.

what can you do about your MIL? I would “hide” her fb so you don’t have to see it, don’t give her the satisfaction of deleting her.
then just grey rock. Just give her nothing. She sounds like she invites drama, don’t give her it.

You really need to calm down and get some perspective ..this is such trivial nonsense...huge things are happening in the world, people suffering here or abroad and you are making an issue of this with your precious life...you are teaching really dreadful shallow values to your children. Please stop and count your blessings

Congratulations 🎊

I am currently planning a wedding, and content creators are everywhere- it’s a big business on the wedding industry. Not commenting on OP’s specific situation, but she’s not batshit purely for having a content creator- they’re becoming as commonplace as a photographer and videographer at weddings.

YABU OP and completely ott

Hands up who thought a wedding was about two people declaring their love for each other and making promises and vows?

Put a comment underneath that she is using the photo without your permission.

Tell her that until she takes it down, her DD privileges are revoked.
Make sure your DH is on board with nobody putting pics of your DCs online

This sounds quite bizarre.

First look at births? How does that work? Up your vag?

This. Just be happy!

Fair play, OP, I was having a fairly dull Monday afternoon… this has cheered me up no end!!🤣🤣

I must be as old as Wilma Flintstone, cos none of this makes any sense at all. Are people seriously making massive dramas about made-up crap such as ‘content creators’ and ‘first looks’?
I know there’s some daft self-obsessed buggers out there, wandering round yakking into phones and sticking selfie sticks everywhere, but this is another level!

I truly hope you don’t have some real life drama and upset to deal with, OP, if this charade is causing so much angst. Come back to the real world!!

You’ve brightened up my afternoon🤣🤣🤣

People are focusing on the wrong thing.

OP, why did you share the album with her if you knew there were photos you didn't want her to share?

What does your husband make of all of this?

100% this ⬆️

All the first look and photographer faff is a nonsense here really and it's distracting everyone from the key issue here which is that mil has posted a photo on her profile of op and her dc which she took herself - not just as a picture on her profile but as her actual profile picture without ops consent.

This is an issue as profile pictures on fb are always public meaning ops wedding photos and crucially the images of her children can be downloaded/sold/manipulated by any 3rd party. Facebook financially profit from this and sell rights to "public" images shared on their platform to 3rd parties so its highly unlikely you'll get anywhere with them op.

I think all you can really do is go together with your spouse to mil and demand that she removes the photo as you don't consent to your children's image being shared publicly. Different if it was on her private fb page but not for a public photo. Tell her it's a safeguarding concern as paedophiles use these images to create digital child abuse images and then distribute.

Obviously this argument will only work if you and your partner don't share your children's images publicly online. If you do then you don't have a leg to stand on op.

I think your confusing Facebook with the Jerry Springer Show

What a lovely way with words you have. No, beautiful shots of the Mother and Father enjoying their child being born rather than just the Dad taking photos on his camera phone. A professional photographer. Luckily my Dh is an incredible photographer, but many people are not.

Indeed - people who want to make money are never going to tire of finding new ways to part the about-to-be-married (the ones who really apparently have more feckin' money than sense) with their cash. It's all ridiculous nonsense.