Once again I'm stuck watching sport while DH sleeps-just need to vent

[Ilovepastafortea]

I know I'm not the only one. But so frustrated at DH saying he wants to watch some sport, falls asleep (we talking snoring asleep so no doubt he's asleep) & I know that as soon as I change the channel he will wake up & say that he was watching that & only closed his eyes, but was very much listening to it & following it.

This afternoon it's Women's Rugby Ireland v Spain. 😴

It's chucking it down outside otherwise I'd do some gardening. Would visit a friend, but he's asleep & would worry when he wakes & I'm not there. I've tried doing just that & leaving a note - he didn't see the note which was safety pinned to his chest.

Sport-widows support me please.

I don't put up with that bollocks. If the TV is on a channel i don't care for and he's watching, fair enough i read. If the TV is on a channel i don't care for and he's asleep? I get the TV and he can read if he wakes up and doesn't want to watch what i'm watching.

It is my tv too.

Do you have a habit of fighting bears in the woods? He'll be worried because you go out ffs. It's another form of control, don't go anywhere but sit by me watching sport that you hate so I can keep an eye on you too.
Think about why you are worrying about going out (as a grown adult) without running it by him first.

Simple. Change channels. When he wakes up and says 'I was watching that,' you say, 'Ok. I'm going round to Sarah's then. See you later'.

All sorted.

Could have been sorted at the start:
DH 'I'd like to watch the game this afternoon'
You 'OK I'll go for a coffee with Mary while you're doing that'

Or are you not allowed to do your own thing while he watches sport?

This is ridiculous. If you want to go out then go out. He is lying if he doesn't see a note actually pinned to him. Stick it on the TV next time.

I don’t understand why you aren’t doing your own thing? So what if he wakes up and you aren’t there? You don’t need permission to leave the house! Or read a book in another room.

Go out. Do what you want. Leave a note, send a text whatever. If he’s really worried he’ll call you. But why would he worry if you’re not there? Are you his carer and there are some special needs you haven’t mentioned?

I’m afraid you enable this by not asserting yourself. Why do you allow some snoring sports bore rule your life like that?

YABU lol. You talk as though you’re a prisoner in your own home.

Also didn’t you post recently about how you had such a hot husband and still fancied him, had great sex life etc?

I remember you got fair bit backlash for a pointless thread and this again just seems along the same vein. We get it you have a husband - who cares and will ‘worry’ if he wakes up without you there.

But you’re hardly along the lines of being what’s traditionally thought of as a ‘sports widow’.

Another vote for leave the note on the TV

This really reminded me of when I was first married in the 80s, not with sport, but with boring (to me) war films and westerns. We had a little house, only one TV and no VCR. Apparently he expected me to spend my Saturday afternoon either watching a film I hated (and making him drinks and snacks no doubt) or in the bedroom like a teenager. Massive row - I went out to a friend's and we went to the pub. When I got back of course he was "concerned" because he didn't know why I'd been so long - but really he was pissed off because he'd missed out on the pub with some convivial company. I think we got a VCR shortly after that. What a bellend though.

Video him snoring, then change the channel. Concerning you feel like he’s totally in charge.

Leave him for another ten minutes. Change the channel. When he half wakes up and says he was watching that, ask him what the score is.

Sorted.

Life’s too short - turn it over or go and do something nice - anything at all!

Tell him in advance if he falls asleep you will be off to go and do something else. He can send you a text if he is concerned.

I was also going to suggest this.

He won't panic if he wakes up and you're gone...because he was awake the whole time watching the rugby, right? So he definitely heard you saying you were off out

WTF are you allowing yourself to be trapped like that?

He's asleep. Record him snoring if you must and then change the channel. Or go out and do something if you want to go out. Don't cater to the grown up acting like a controlling toddler.

Don’t be ridiculous.

Why does he get to choose every time?
Video him snoring.
Leave a sticky note on the tv and go out.
Go in another room and watch whatever you want in a computer, iPad etc.
Read a book.

Anything, really, other than taking pride in being so servile and ridiculous.

Hang a towel over the screen then go out.

FFS, Why are you even sitting with him if it’s something you don’t want to watch?
Just leave him to watch it on his own. He’s not a toddler that needs supervision.

What did you plan to do if he'd stayed awake? Can't you do that? Is the only thing you have to do in your house watching TV?

If this happens all the time why don't you prempt it "I might pop round Bobs a bit this afternoon, so if you dose off and Im not in don't panic"

I don't really know why a grown adult is worrying if their compos mentis wife is missing anyway as its normal to leave the house to go the shops or go to the garden centre or round a friends as an adult. I would just text my husband if I found he wasn't in and you can then reply saying "at bobs"

Plan A Change the channel to something you want.

Plan B If he wakes up tell him you are going out and will message later if you're not going to be home for dinner. While he is awake tell him what he needs to get started for dinner.

This,

This whole set up makes me think low of both of you. Him being so awful and you enabling it.

If he's unable to cope without knowing where you are, wake him up (as he's not sleeping anyway) & tell him you're going out.

Exit the house and live your one precious life.

Is he controlling in other ways, What's he like when you go out with your friends without him.