My husband just attacked me

[OneSnug]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and my husband just attacked me in an argument and kicked me in the stomach. Our entire relantionship has just ended. I will never look at him or be near him again. Ten years. 4 rounds of IVF. He’s always had an ugly side but never raised his hand on me until now. Apparently I was shouting and I’m not allowed to in his mind and that gave him the right to physically attack me.

And when she reports him to police and police laugh it off & return her to husband or section her as men will do to women in some counties - then what PP??

OP do you know for sure there aren’t cameras and he can’t access your iCloud on his pc & read your messages & see what you’re planning?
Dont want to make you paranoid but sooner you can taxi to airport with your passport & get the next flight out to UK or a safe, westernised European country from where you can get a flight to UK. See a doctor when you get back here.
Have you contacted embassy?

Really pleased to hear you already have your own passport and it is separate from his.

I don’t think you can be quite thinking straight, or realise what an incredibly dangerous situation you are in right now, as you are talking about suitcases. You are probably in shock.

Dont wait until the business trip next week. I would go tomorrow when he’s out at work.

Don’t tell anyone.

Don’t go to the police or the medical clinic, depends on the country but they could accuse you of having tried to hurt yourself and the baby, tell your DH and return you to him.

Get home.

Great advice from many others on here. Be Very careful, hide tracks online, have money, know your mother’s email address and number by memory. Nothing too conspicuous (like suitcases), go to any major tourist destination/EU country if no flights to U.K. and continue from there.

ok I can guess which country’s those are. The same country’s who don’t value women

This happened to my sister when she was 6 months. Her partner beat her up so badly she was hospitalised.
He attacked me too for trying to protect her.

I was 18yrs old and trying to stop her miscarrying, as she lay on the floor,Iwith him smashing her head across the metal door frame.
I had no idea what I was doing as she lay bleeding, it set the scene for a lifelong trauma. She went back to him.
Her existing children were put on the at risk register.
Our relationship broke down as she tried to tell police I was lying, I was devastated.
She then married him
The abuse of her and her children ramped up until my parents got custody of the children
The children ended up needing psychiatric help
She's ended up losing everything
I heard he died last year, and I was so pleased. I hope he suffered the evil bastard.
My point is, if this is his starting point, it will only get worse.
Do right by yourself and your unborn.

In which case, why not say where you are?

The OP sounds pretty level-headed. I hope she is able to get out sharpish. The advice up thread to go anywhere in Europe is good. As a UK passport holder she'll need a visa waiver, €20 euros online.

OP you are in danger. As you are in a country where women have low status and rights, it is not safe to go to the authorities (like the police).

As a British citizen abroad, you can contact the nearest UK embassy or consulate. The consulate can help you find safe shelter, assist with emergency travel documents if you need to leave the country and connect you with local services or arrange evacuation if needed.

Emergency contact for British citizens overseas: tel:+44 20 7008 5000 +44 20 7008 5000 (24/7).

It is likely the OP is in a country where women need permission from their husband to travel. She may not make it through immigration control. She needs to contact the British consulate.

It’s possible, although she did say

”I have been looking for flights”

So it sounds like she thinks she can fly without his permission.

I would leave and abort the child, you don’t need a lifelong link to this monster. If he is the issue, it’s him who won’t be a parent, not you. Wishing for your safe passage, go to your mum asap.

OP, please hide your passport and change the passcode to your phone. You need to leave asap before he knows you intend to leave.

Are you in the Middle East OP? If so, DO NOT go to the police. They do f all especially if your husband is from there. My friend got throttled by her husband and the police just laughed.

Get out ASAP. If you go to the police, your husband could make a false allegation and get you travel banned until you have the baby. Then the baby would be travel banned once born upon his request. (I’m talking about in the ME so apologies if you aren’t there).

Most important thing is to get out ASAP. Act normal with him for now then leg it. It doesn’t matter if you need to leave your things. Your safety and freedom is most important. Personally I wouldn’t wait until his trip away. He might get suspicious and stay.

If there isn’t a flight to UK which departs while he’s at work, get on any to Europe then travel back from there. You do not want him to find out you've gone until you're out of the country.

All the best OP.

Take your own pics of anything healing -send them to your mum.

Let us know once youre safe

It really doesnt sound like it is safe enough for op to do that. She needs to pack, leave and get out of the country before he suspects.

Apply for divorce as soon as you’re back in UK. Even if it’s an Islamic marriage which has taken place in an Islamic country, you can get the no fault divorce. Finances can be sorted out after the divorce goes through.

I had an Islamic divorce in uk but my ex was already here on a spouse visa, so go straight to a solicitor to double check you can definitley divorce if he isn’t in the country. I’m pretty sure the solicitor told me you could but you’d need to clarify.

You want to be divorced before the child is born so he isn’t on the BC and his chances of coming to the UK are much more difficult. Also log the DV with the British police once you’re back.

The other option is having a termination once you’re back. Say it was a miscarriage. Obviously I know this is awful when you have went through IVF but if it’s him with the dodgy sperm, you can go on to have children. Of course it’s your choice. What an awful situation to be in OP. Sending hugs x

Can you get the passport to a safe place? Is the British embassy near you? Do you have a trusted friend? If he’s paranoid about you leaving then he might go looking for the passport. I know you don’t want to sacrifice your stuff but you it’s only stuff and he’s already attacked you once. Maybe put together an emergency bag and get ready to run.

OP only you know about the country you are living. Please consider the very worst case scenario here and safeguard yourself against it. Consider leaving with the smallest of bags as soon as possible - most things are completely replaceable - and take a flight to anywhere in Europe. You, travelling solo, are highly likely to be able to get a flight straight away.

You are in danger now and waiting a week on the chance that he goes away to work just to get all your possessions packed is incredibly risky. You are giving him a week to harm you more, report you to the authorities and have you taken into custody/sectioning and getting your passport removed/freezing your access to money.

He may anticipate you leaving, given that you are understandably avoiding him, and it’ll be obvious to him that you will be planning to leave for good when he is away so may already have cancelled or rescheduled.

The window of opportunity you have for leaving may already be greatly reduced.

Please consider this and simply leave with the absolute essentials.

Do you have joint accounts? Do you have money not monitored by him? Is it safer to not buy a flight out of there in advance and just get to the airport and buy once you get there.

Is your phone tracked ? Even an innocent app like Life360? Can he see where you are at all times?

Hope you’re ok OP. Don’t let him talk you around here.

I am so so sad to read this story @TheCandidQuoter . This sounds the most awful thing to go through.
It is such a strong warning for the OP but it sounds like @OneSnug is already going to leave and is making plans.
@OneSnug I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through too and I hope you’re following the good advice on this thread and applying the relevant advice to wherever you are so you can get out safely ❤️ Please let us know how you are when it’s safe.

What an evil bastard.

Keep your passport on you at all times. I hope you get out and back to your mum’s soon x

And don’t give him more time to trap you more. Get out now.

Sorry for bombarding OP. I wouldn’t go to hospital (this is in the ME so again I apologise if I’m jumping ship).

If you tell them your husband has done it, they might make you do a police report (of course the police won’t actually do anything) but he will be notified. Seeing as he’s a nasty bastard he could make up any false allegation and try travel ban you during the pregnancy. Then you are fucked because as soon as the baby is born he will travel ban them.

You need to get out of the country ASAP. I mean in the next few days. Also consider that most flights to UK are probably overbooked this time of year (I used to work for an airline there). If they are then your best bet is getting any flight to Europe.

I would pretend you’ve forgiven him. Pacify him. Then as soon as he leaves for work, leg it. Have your flight already booked for when you know he will be at work. Be mindful he might have hidden cameras in the house so you do not want him seeing you leave with a load of suitcases. A rucksack with your documents is all that is needed.

Switch off any trackers/find my iPhone as soon as you leave the house to head to the airport x

OP please go and get checked!

You have v
Got this OP

Listen to all the wise words on here

Do not ask different around him or he will get more angry

When is this piece of shit back to work?

The moment you know it is safe

GET OUT

WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR CLOTHES

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

OP go to a clinic in Europe

Do not go to one where you are

Sending lots of good wishes your way 💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖