Is it crazy to remarry the same person!

[JofoXX]

So, married my partner after only 12 months of meeting. The year 2020, booked and done within 22 days, very much a whirlwind!

We had 2 children afterwards and due to alot of traumatic events I experienced and the harsh reality of the new family dynamic, chaos etc we broke up and I hotheadly divorced him!

We split briefly but have since reconciled and are better than ever. We wpuld have renewed our vows this year, but now we are thinking of remarrying after Christmas.

Is this just bonkers?!

Yep.
maybe this time just ease into it with the same level of commitment and love and intention to marry but don’t do the ceremony for another few years. What’s the rush? Think carefully about best and worst case scenarios and the effects these will have on your children. I’m glad you are both happy now.

For some reason, possibly internal values I've always said I wouldn't marry beyond 40. I'm approaching that. Why wait

Why wait? To ensure that you aren’t rushing into marriage again. Surely it’s better to be past 40 when you get married than to marry in haste and repent at leisure, @JofoXX?

I know of one couple who divorced and remarried, they remained together long-term after the second marriage.
I would only remarry this person if it's in your long-term best interests to do so, in other words is there any advantage to you to be tied into this contract with him rather than in a relationship with him but not married?

You sound quite impulse, maybe just chill for a bit and see how it goes? It's a bit crazy to marry the same person but it would be worse to divorce the same person twice so I'd wait if I were you.

So you married, had two dch, got divorced and back together permanently, all within five years? Why were you going to renew your vows after only five years?.(Genuinely, I don't get this. If you make vows and have kept to them, why do you need to renew them?)
Anyway, you want to be married again, so why not? I would suggest you just have a party, take a deep breath and get remarried in, say, five years' time. If you can't think that far forward with him, then maybe you should just stay as you are and live in the moment. I speak from experience! When I got married the first time I couldn't imagine growing old with him. We were divorced within six years.

So within 5-6 years you've met, married, had two kids, divorce, got back together and want to get married again?

It sounds like you've had very little time to just 'be' in the relationship, it's all drama, whether good or bad. If you are still together and happy in 5 years, maybe think about it, but slow down. Why so much rush.

Why wait?

I get the impression this might be the OP's mantra in life 😂

I was married for 19 years and then divorced.
I haven't seen / spoke to / or had any contact for the many years since .
The past is where he deserves to be .

Yes, I see your point. Just not too sure what I'm waiting for, we are a family, we know it'd what we want, and we are lucky enough to be able to afford it, it's been a year of new beginnings, new home etc. But yes, I do see what you're saying

If the divorce really was a mistake, why not?

You sound like you like drama and the notion of whirlwind romance. The time for that was pre-children. Some level headed pragmatic thinking would go a long way here. As pp said, wait a few years, 40 is just a number.

Why wait? To ensure you’re not making another mistake and potential causing more drama and unrest for your DC just because you’ve made up an arbitrary age limit.

Think about them rather than being a drama llama

Why rush though. Give it another year

Why wait? Because you rushed the last time and looked what happened? You have small children to consider here.
Generally people divorce for good reasons, those reasons don't just magically disappear.

Life is short. That's my motto and after the loss I've experienced within the past 2 years then I don't see the need to wait. That may be time I dont have the luxury of

No.

I have a cousin who lives in NZ. She married young had 2 kids. They spilt a fee years later. She married someone else. White wedding best day of my life etc etc.

I dont know how it happened as im not in touch that much but one day her facebook page changed back to her old married name and she and her ex husband are very much back together. The children look beside themselves with happiness and they have been back together a few years now.

Go for it x

So why bother starting a thread if you already know your own answer and aren’t taking anything onboard?

Within 5 years you have met, married, provided two children, had time to get divorced and get back together?

For the sake of the children I think you should take some time to make sure that this is what you both really want. Your poor decision making now impacts them, you need to think beyond what you want.

The arbitrary 40th birthday deadline just makes you appear ridiculous tbh.

When did you get divorced? What was it that made you decide to get a divorce? How long since you’ve been back together?

I agree with others. Get back together and wait a few more years before you commit again.

Jesus know each other 5 years, married, divorced, 2 kids and re-married, yip that's wild 🤣

I don't see how marrying my children's father, sharing a surname and providing them that stability is a bad thing. I started the thread merely to gain others insights it wasn't to decide the outcome for me. And if that's ridiculous then that's your opinion but some of us like to have certain things done within a timeliness in our lives, that's also okay. I can take the backlash of this absolutely, but I think to question my parenting is rather severe. Anyhow, thank you for the positive feedback

Divorced 2022, it's a long story, got pregnant suffered severe hormonal reactions which lef to extremely irrtsion thoughts snd even more irrational decisions to be made. Lost that baby, lost my Dad, lost a friend, I just closed off and decided that my husband wasn't supportive etc....he was I was just in another place. Back together 2 years, twins, were happy