Is it crazy to remarry the same person!

[JofoXX]

So, married my partner after only 12 months of meeting. The year 2020, booked and done within 22 days, very much a whirlwind!

We had 2 children afterwards and due to alot of traumatic events I experienced and the harsh reality of the new family dynamic, chaos etc we broke up and I hotheadly divorced him!

We split briefly but have since reconciled and are better than ever. We wpuld have renewed our vows this year, but now we are thinking of remarrying after Christmas.

Is this just bonkers?!

You have two children to think of. Mum and Dad rush to get married again and then it apart again and they divorce again.

You can get married after 40, wait and see how things are going.

Sounds like you were undergoing a lot of trauma. Since you’ve been back together a while I’d start planning to get married again yes but probably not make a huge song and dance about it. Nice registry office and picnic or lunch out after?

sorry for your losses, any one of them would be bad on their own.

Providing stability is a good thing, but the last five years don’t appear to have been at all stable.

I understand about having life plans. But you’ve already married this man and produced children with him, so why should the 40th birthday factor in at all? It seems entirely irrelevant.

I did not question your parenting. My point was that thus far you appear to have rushed headlong into some pretty serious life decisions.

If you are going to make another one it’s a good idea to make sure it’s the right one as if it doesn’t work out it will impact the children.

But as you say, it’s your decision.

It's just something that I've always done, wanted to do certain things by a certain age. It isn't the deciding factor, but again, I don't see the reason to wait. I do appreciate all the insights above I really do. Was just curious if anybody ever had on here and how it went. It will be a small wedding, just us and 2 witnesses, marriage is important to me, believe it or not

I do know a couple who got divorced in their twenties and remarried in their sixties.

They seem very happy.

That's a ridiculous belief to hold on to. You've shown you weren't sensible when you were younger!

How have I shown I wasn't sensible? You don't know the full reasons behind it and if something seemed right at the time that doesn't make me not sensible? Maybe rash but not irresponsible

You seem to be a very impulsive person, OP. Can you think of times (apart from this obvious one) where that's led to problems for you or others?

I think you’re right - life is short. If you want to get remarried, then do it!

I know someone who was married, divorced, got back together a few months post divorce, all systems go as they had a nice few months together before getting remarried, then spent the next few years both very unhappy but not doing anything about it because they'd just got married a second time. They inevitably divorced again. No longer speak.

My parents got divorced after, I don't know, about 18 or 19 years of marriage. Two years apart, then got back together then married again, have been very happy for over 35 years.

I think if it's been a time for learning and growth it might well work out, good luck to you!

Hmm, you "thought" he was unsupportive but he wasn't really?

Or... he was unsupportive and then he gaslit you into thinking that you were just too crazy to see what a good guy he really is?

I wonder why he would take you back after you divorced him? Most people would struggle to find the trust. Or is it that he needs to marry you so he can be the one to ditch you this time?

I think in your situation OP I would spend the money on couples therapy rather than a wedding.

Bit weird to ask us if it's bonkers or crazy (your words) then argue when people say what's the rush. Do as you will.

Op I don't think that you need or want approval from this thread!

Absolutely, isn't that life? If anybody can say everu decision they have ever made has never ended in a mistake or a problem then I'm sorry but that's a lie. I've learnt by my mistakes. I am not irresponsible. If me and my partner ever split, which I can't promise we won't, then whether it's a split or divorce it was effect whoever it will effect the same.

Ouch. I think Gaslighting is abit of a word to throw about. Too much of that these days. I'm autonomous enough to recognise this is believe and u think to use that word against someone is severe without knowing facts.

I'm not arguing in a way it's effecting me, I'm simply answering back to the comments. I came on for people's thoughts, that's what I'm getting snd that's fine

If it’s stability you are after, give it 5 years and if you still want to do it, marry then.

And if answer to “why not do it now” … well, cost for one thing! Even with a small ceremony, what’s the cost of another marriage and another divorce?

It’s not crazy in principle but it is crazy for you to do it with this person when you seem to have a habit of making rash decisions.

Within just 6 years you have met someone, married them, had children, divorced them, and got back together. Give it another 5 years - if you are still happy together then my all means get remarried.

You could remarry and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out, divorce. If you change your mind get married again and so on.
Or just take it slower this time

@JofoXX if you use the quote function it’s easier for people to know which post you are replying to.

If you live with him and the kids as a family, why doesn't that feel stable enough for you?

If you’re all happy and it’s working then go for it.

Also divorce in haste, repent at leisure.

When you say "afford it", presumably you mean a wedding. Marriage is not the wedding, as you have already discovered.