OP I am so sorry this is happening to you. These replies must be a shock because I suspect you were hoping to post on here and have everyone say this happens to us all so you could ignore that nagging feeling.
I’m sure a lot of us have gone ahead when not fully in the mood either to get a bit of peace & quiet, or because we think once we start we’ll feel more in the mood. Whilst that’s not great, it’s worlds apart from waking up to find your partner with their fingers or cock inside you. He is raping you regularly. He’s not thinking about you and your desires, he’s horny and thinking he can just take what he wants. He didn’t even try waking you to ask if you wanted sex (which would be gross anyway) which tells me that he wasn’t interested in what you wanted at all. Because if he had asked you, you might have said no. In his mind, he’s justified it as not being rape because you haven’t explicitly told him no. Doesn’t matter how he’s justified it, it doesn’t change what it is.
Him being a good man in all other areas of his life, doesn’t make this ok. People aren’t all truly good or truly bad - we’re all a mixture of things. I think it’s harder to call him a rapist when you think of him as being a good man. It’s a lot easier to see it for what it is if he’s always an arsehole.
Take some time to take on board what we are telling you here. You don’t have to make a decision right now about your future, but you do need to do something if you don’t want this to continue. Whether you choose to talk to him and make him realise what it is he’s doing, and stop doing it (I’d recommend therapy if you choose this, for you both) or if you decide you want to report him to the police and get him prosecuted is entirely up to you. One thing to remember is that it is not your fault. If he gets prosecuted and gets a criminal record/it affects his job etc this is ONLY his fault. He chose to start having unconsensual sex with you knowing you were asleep. He even choose to continue once he knew you were awake and you pulled a pillow over your head, making it very clear this wasn’t something you wanted. Don’t feel guilty about any of the consequences he faces from making those choices. Is he feeling guilty about what he’s done to you? I very much doubt it.
Please consider speaking to a professional at least to help you process how you feel about all of this. Good luck and please remember in no way is any of this your fault, you didn’t consent, there was no grey area here, and it’s ok that you don’t know how to feel about it.