I am not ashamed, but ...

[Beetleswings]

In the last two years, I've slept with 8 guys. The first of which I had a situationship with after being single and celibate for years - the rest were ONS. I had a sexless, abusive marriage which ended 5 years before the situationship.
How do I row myself back from this? It appears there are minority of individuals in the area I live who are aware of these ONS, at least three of which tell me I need to get some self-respect. I am 100% sure that nobody knows the count is 8 men in 2 years.
I am now thinking word has gone round and now I am thinking I should crawl under a rock... I just love sex, but have struggled to get into a relationship. I have male friends, but I don't find any of them attractive.
If I were in a relationship, sexual chemistry would be a very important factor for me to maintain one. Have I spoiled my chances of love and relationship by 'sleeping around' ?

have you enjoyed the sex?

How old are you? Where do you live?

Your sex life really won’t be of interest to people op

you work? Friends? Social life? Just head down and crack on with life

Some of it, not all

Op if your pool of possible long term partners is limited to a tiny community of odd locals that know about your sex life and judge you for it… then yes you’re screwed.

but I’m hoping your life involves more people and potential than that!

It’s nobody’s business op. Crack on with your life. ‘Sleep around’ (your phrase), or don’t, you’re an adult as are they.

What does it have to do with them? As long as you were safe and consual, I wouldn't worry. Ignore them. When the right person comes along, they shouldn't give a toss about how many people you've slept with!

As a single person I don’t see 8 in 2 years as a lot. I’m assuming you’re female, so would they say the same to a male?

England, 40s.

I had someone, a man in his 30s who I suspect fancies me, mention it (my sex life) loudly out of nowhere while I was chatting with a mutual (male) friend sitting at the same table. This was at a pub I infrequently go to.

Well, precisely. I feel I'm being strung up as a witch because I dare to enjoy sex and not to conform.

Screwed?

I don't think 8 men in 2 years is over the top. How does everyone know about it though? Are they all men from the same circle?

Where the hell in England??

im in a market town in south east and quite honestly I could sleep with 1000 and no one would know other than the lucky chaps!

Well do you live in a tiny community of very peculiar locals who all know about and are sickened by your sex life?

I don’t think 8 partners in 2 years is bad.
if this dickhead mentions it again, reply back ‘yes and thank god it was only the once.’ That should shut him up.

It’s probably one of the people you slept with… people will take and boast!

people that criticise you tend to be jealous.

But be careful of men who think you’re an easy ride… they are disgusting

Meh, it’s just sex. What’s wrong with 8 people in two years? Live your life by your own rules.

The guy I had the situationship with went around telling everyone what we'd got up to in bed... I broke things off with him after discovering this and the fact he's not a very nice individual. It now turns out that his df has gone spreading lies that I slept with him. 🙄 I wouldn't touch him with a 10ft barge pole

I would have some sarky rely prepared. Be proud of what you have done - you have lived your life how you want. Don’t be ashamed. Nothing to be ashamed of.

No. Not all from the same circle.

So you think I SHOULD be ashamed? For having and enjoying sex?

8 men in two years is one every three months, which is not too excessive. If you're enjoying it then keep doing it!

If you're not enjoying it then make a change.

I don't understand how a random bloke in a pub knows about your sex life though, unless maybe he knows a couple of the men you've been with and they've told him? You might need to cast your net wider from now on!

Edited to say: oh right, your post at 7.44 explains it. I'm sorry to hear someone did that to you. What a dick.

Head. Wall. Bang.

OP, I’m afraid to say that you’re not coming across as the sharpest tool in the box

I am very confused how the whole neighborhood has become aware of the actual numbers and all the specific.men?

Yes, one guy was talking, ok. But this doesn't make any sense. Unless you're meeting them all in the same bar whilst hammered and shouting "I'm taking this one home to fuck him" this story just doesn't make any sense.

I’m older than you OP and have shagged a lot more than eight blokes.
I’m not even slightly ashamed of the quantity.
The quality on the other hand 😂
But that’s on them!

And if you are doing this you should stop because it's inappropriate and you should be ashamed of being a drunken twat, not for havisex.