I am not ashamed, but ...

[Beetleswings]

In the last two years, I've slept with 8 guys. The first of which I had a situationship with after being single and celibate for years - the rest were ONS. I had a sexless, abusive marriage which ended 5 years before the situationship.
How do I row myself back from this? It appears there are minority of individuals in the area I live who are aware of these ONS, at least three of which tell me I need to get some self-respect. I am 100% sure that nobody knows the count is 8 men in 2 years.
I am now thinking word has gone round and now I am thinking I should crawl under a rock... I just love sex, but have struggled to get into a relationship. I have male friends, but I don't find any of them attractive.
If I were in a relationship, sexual chemistry would be a very important factor for me to maintain one. Have I spoiled my chances of love and relationship by 'sleeping around' ?

It's only one arsehole spouting off to others about the situationship I mention in my op.

Yes but this one arsehole appears to be capable of spreading it around to all your potential suitors, who you are concerned would be put off you.

So either you’re completely seeing shadows
or
this is a tiny, insular and utterly bizarre local community that have nothing to do aside from getting themselves over excited by one member of the community’s sex life

The latter

Well then you have a much much bigger problem than simply this

you’re living in some kind of bizarre cut off community.

solution - move

No

I’ve never ever gone around speaking about my sex life. Let alone to ‘everyone’. When faced with an unprovoked cats arse face ‘blah blah blah self respect’ comment, I replied like I said above. It’s solid advice if I say so myself. It applies to a few different situations. And you aren’t telling them anything or confirming or denying anyway, either. Let their minds run wild.

Telling people you actually respect yourself so much- and enjoy your life a lot- shuts them down… what can they come back with? The only thing I regret is that I didn’t add, ‘I hope you can get the self respect I have, for yourself one day’ 😂

❤️😘

I’m not surprised
on the basis of this thread OP, I imagine you fit in rather well!

Fucking hell, after I split from my ex husband I slept with about 40 men (and women) in 2 years!

Well ain't you a delight?!

well I wouldn’t fit in this your local community op, that’s for sure!

Jesus, I’ve seen me shag 8 in a month.

Good times tbh.

I slept with about 8 men in a month at my lowest point. I didn’t enjoy it and I was obviously looking for something else, but somehow ended up sleeping with men as a way to fill whatever need it was. It’s sex. It’s your body. Stop it if it bothers you. It’s nobody’s business but yours.

What is a situationship?

Honestly who fucking cares? If you care this much stop?

More than dating, not quite a relationship.

What does that mean?

Bit envious to be honest 🤣

That’s one man every 3 months.
That’s not really that bad, is it? I know people that do 8 in less than a year

Each to their own - lots of ONSs are not my thing, but you are a free agent. If you feel there is anything in it to be ashamed of then don't do it!

As posters have said, the number is nothing and in a functional community, no-one would give a toss. You’ve done nothing wrong. The problem is you have confirmed you live in an insular community where people take an interest in things that are not their business and it is making you uncomfortable. It sounds like at least some of the men are quite unpleasant and not safe bedroom partners. So either you convey that you don’t care by acting nonchalant, in which case these comments may stop or you let this hurt you or you move.

Eight guys in two years?? Ffs, that’s practically virginal! 4 guys a week might be considered slutty but 4 guys a year?

Honestly you've over thinking this. In a small community people will talk as to who's doing who.. they forget5 second s afterwards . Do what ever makes you happy

Having had a 'situationship' and a few ONS is no big deal.

Obviously it depends on what your after. Plenty of people sort of have to have that type of thing in order to find the right person.

It often doesn't feel great having sexual liasons you regret or that don't lead where you want them to, but it's just part of life.

Onward and upward!

The idea that a random from your town could claim you need 'more self respect' because they heard a rumour you slept with someone, well that person needs to get a fucking life urgently.

Just ignore their 'opinion'. Does the person they claim you slept with also need to 'get some self respect'?

Do you have kids op?